[parakeet]

You ever go to someone’s house and they’ve got a tv with little ornaments on the tv stand that partially obscure the bottom of the tv? Literally unwatchable and they live like that

[what-a-bastard]

Accepting identities I don't understand is actually extremely easy because I just go "this isn't about me" and move on with my life unbothered by someone else's identity, it's truly that simple.

[eevee-on-keyboard]

i heard someone say once, “you don’t need to speak French to acknowledge that it’s a language that exists”. and i feel like more ppl need to keep that in mind when they come across something they don’t understand.

[piendish]

riddle me this, riddle me me that, whoose afraid of the big small cat.

[kosmogrl]

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

[escuerzoresucitado]

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[unstablebill]

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

[mysterycat-official]

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[olicrosse]

[cephalopodvictorious]

fixed it

[star-thief]

[mysillycomics]

how to have a sturgeon summer:

1. be quite large

2. use your barbels to find prey among the gravel along the bottom of the river

3. extend your siphon-like mouth to eat small fish, shellfish, and crustaceans

4. launch yourself out of the water and make a big splash just for fun

5. show off them scutes!

you can now enjoy your sturgeon summer

[tainbocuailnge]

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[swan2swan]

SNIPER HOLY F****!!!!!

[sniperct]

the crabs trying to find Mitch McConnell's rave and ending up at Lindsey Graham's

[andmaybegayer]

> looking at a new popular collectible

> ask the people if it's objects or gambling

> they don't understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling

> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"

> look up how to buy a collectible

> its gambling

[andmaybegayer]

> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!

Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.

There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!

[girlishgamine]

You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.

Deceptive Patterns (aka Dark Patterns) - spreading awareness since 2010

The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha

[ralfmaximus]

That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.

[dailymanners]

I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.

Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.

[nlog-sama]

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

[ashenmind]

good lord this thing is useless

[fishmech]

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

[dragongirltongue]

Happy horse on mars day

[captain-price-returns]

[somanyjacks]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

[wormsslime]

[somanyjacks]

Reblogging to add amazing tags from @meta-theory

#this both makes things more fun and also is a really good analogy#because there are four types of system maintenance and that makes the term much more exact than the nebulous ''self-care''#and therefore much more helpful to those of us who uhhh struggle with nebulosity#for anyone curious the four types are:#1. corrective (to fix current problems)#2. preventative (to avoid future problems)#3. adaptative (to re-adjust to any changes)#4. perfective (to work towards a better system)#I really like this idea I'm gonna make a checklist

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care 

[fexalted]

[image description: photo of a sign with all caps text reading:

"Warning

If you don't schedule time for maintenance, your equipment will schedule it for you."]