Hatchet @shitatstayingdead - Tumblr Blog

shutyourmoustache

Making exercises more accessible to the disabled? Fuck yeah!

cutekittenlady

This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I'm reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.

cuprohastes

My father was a magician and a clown. When he died, we cleared out his old clotehs and there was his clown suit.

"Oh I'll take this down to the charity shop" said my mother, missing hte part where no sane person is going to wear a clown suit.

"Nah" said I, "Have them dress him in it when they cremate him."

There was a pause and my throw-away joke started to slowly solidify into 'Yeah let's do that'.

A discussion was had with the mortician who had a bit of a worry that the costume would involve giant clown shoes which would prevent the coffin closing.

Luckily it wasn't that sort of outfit.

I told this to my dear friend who immediately envisaged someone trying to close a coffin onto a dead clown, only to have the big red nose go *Sad honk* every time there was an attempt to close the lid.

The awful hilarity rendered her incapable of standing.

whumpster-fire

The poor mortician can't figure out why it still won't close, and has to remove 5 dead clowns from the coffin before it finally shuts.

recordspinner

I’m convinced trickster deities and creatures exist, and that this is their typical profession.

villainessbian

why would a trickster deity become a mortician

resetium

Clown.

villainessbian

Never call me that again or I'll squirt you with my flower and honk my nose and I'll blow the house down

free-my-mindd

diedoffscreen

mornington-the-crescent

depsidase

srdcovka

cummunistbussy

the fact that she revealed she lost a $3M deal to headline Wireless Festival in London for making this joke… only for Wireless Festival to then announce that Kanye West would be taking her place as headliner, face so much backlash for asking him to headline, have almost all the sponsors withdraw funding, and cancel the festival entirely is so funny to me.

calebwittebane

are we serious

courtesycalling

fleshengine

This is such a stupid idea executed so perfectly and in character it's amazing.

byjove

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

byjove

qqueenofhades

The US president accuses Leo of being "weak on crime and terrible for foreign policy".

laropasucia

thylocalbard

"i dont want my tax money to go to other people" too bad i do. i want my tax money to go to struggling people who need food, to people who want to buy their first house, to students pursuing their 12th degree, to fund public services and research. im tired of trying to convince capitalists that they can live without their money because i actually genuinely want to pay enough tax so that everyone lives comfortably and can pursue higher education as much or as little as they want and can have a well-funded government. please. that sounds like a fucking paradise. please.

shitatstayingdead

I would rather have hundreds of my hard earned dollars go to my fellows in need than have another CENT pried from my grasp and sent to the ultra rich scum of the earth

existennialmemes

A man records himself torching his work place while saying "All you had to do was pay us enough to live. Or at least enough not to do this."

And news reports are officially saying his motive is undetermined because they don't want to admit that they know exactly what his motive is.

"Nothing to see here folks. Just a truly baffling event that came completely out of nowhere and can't be understood. Please don't think about it and start rambling about workers' rights again."