[SCENE, ENTER DUCK AND GEODO]
Duck:
Behold, A mess of ravioli, caskâd in tin!
Geodo:
In cans! Good heavens, say to me where theyâve been!
Duck:
How hast thou livâd, and heard not of it so?!
Canned ravioli! âTis a common fare!
Geodo:
Because I am a man of flesh and blood, I swear,
Who sets his pot a-boil, then cooks his dough,
And sauce thereon, when simmering, doth throw.
What meanâst thou by this âcanned raviolâ?
Duck:
Good fellow, how hast thou escapâd its taste?
[He holds aloft a can of Chef Boyardee]
Behold the vessel! See, it is not waste.
Geodo:
What, that! That is the Chef Boyardee?!
I thought it was⌠the sauce alone! Forsooth,
The whole repast, imprisonâd in the tin?
Canned ravioli! This is madnessâ tooth.
I am no New worlder. Pray, what means this sin?
Duck:
We are a strange folk. Stay thee, do not flee!
Wait till you hear of EZ Cheeze, perdie.
Angelica:
[Enter Angelica, in confusion]
What, in the name of all thatâs good, is EZ Cheeze?
[Enter Goose, who holds aloft a can of EZ Cheeze]
Angelica:
Chaldeas, fetch the arquebus! Load it with all haste!
Hestia:
[Enter Hestia, in high dudgeon]
What devilâs food is this you dare to taste?!
The only ravioli that is true
Is toasted, sir! And if you can your cheese,
You do our mother Nature foul disgrace,
And should be stonâd in the marketplace with ease!
Corvid:
I thought it boiled? Or toasted, say you so?
Hestia:
Boil ravioli! Whom does the world owe
such villainy? Who boils it? Tell me, sir!
Geodo:
Why, mortal men! You take the raw, raw bit,
The rawvioli, in the waterâs fit,
And wait until the dough no more is raw!
Then to your plate, and eat it by the law
Of nature!
Hestia:
No! You buy it from the mart,
Then in the oven for a certain part
Of minutesâeight to thirteenâyou must bake!
And eat it then, for goodnessâ honest sake!
Sometimes with marinara, but thatâs a base condiment;
A side for pizza! Thouârt a beef-witted dolt!
In what world wouldst thou boil it? I am lost.
It is all crunchy, with a beefy ghost
Within, and little green things there do lie.
âTis wondrous good, if thou dost not burn it dry.
Geodo:
A side for pizza! What foul madness this?
You put it in the oven? Fie, amiss!
By my motherâs holy pantheon, I swear,
Itâs crunchy?! Any honest pastaâs ware
Should neâer be crunch! Thou art a beef-brainâd fool!
Hestia:
Pasta! Thou callest ravioli pasta?
What planet sent thee here, thou motley blunder?
How canst thou look upon this dish, and wonder
And say, âAh, yes, beloved pasta mine!â?
Duck:
[He holds a plate of ravioli forth]
Nay, when I see it, I know it for pasta, and I dine.
