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@simp--supreme
Even an orange cat is right sometimes.
My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre
But it can hit if you plato the right crowd
just saw a horse scurry under the fridge
Frankly, I think companies presenting basic health and consumer safety information as "boring," "uncool," and "not worth your care" should carry a hefty fine based on the revenue that company generates
The lameo gay crap we're legally forced to tell you: You may die of diseentary
Something is missing from the debate over educationally suitable literature
honestly one of the strangest and worst takes i have heard in a long time.
I wish people actually looked up what grooming actually is, because it's not "when you read something horny before your 18th birthday".
Grooming involves someone deliberately trying to gain a minor's trust and open them up for sexual abuse. The intent is important here, because a lot of the actions that can constitute grooming are superficially completely benign.
For example, being kind, listening to a child when they talk about their problems or giving them gifts can be grooming if the person doing it intends to abuse the child, but otherwise it is just being a decent person.
You can't be "groomed" by an inanimate object like a book because books do not have minds. They can't abuse you. They can't even want to abuse you.
At a certain point you need to take responsibility for the fact you made a choice to play a video game or read a book that might have made you uncomfortable. You could also have chosen to stop playing it!
That's developmentally normal - there are always edgy teenagers - and it's something kids have been doing for as long as kids have had widespread access to recorded media.
I know a lot of abuse survivors - people who experienced serious harm and lasting trauma from things other human beings did to them. It's not the same as just being weirded out because you played a game or read a book or watched a movie that was a little too graphic for you.
You can't be abused by a piece of fiction.
The strongest guy in the Magnus Archives is that one guy who was so obsessed with his dog that he just walked right out of the Spiral because it was her dinnertime
This is one of my favorite episodes. Fears can't hurt you if you're chill enough. The guy who walked in a spiral for four hours and then just left because he remembered he had somewhere to be is, to me, the avatar of the entities' fear
strongest people in the magnus archives:
guy who kept the coffin of the buried in his living room and used it as a coffee table
walked out of the spiral because his dog needed dinner
the plumber who was so inattentive that the stranger put on a whole spectacle for him and he straight-up missed it all
the guy whose primary concern with the evil taxidermists was whether or not they were money laundering (they weren't)
AND he didnāt even realize evil taxidermy was at play for the longest time because he came in like āI love and respect autistic people, of course Iām not judging eye contactā
we CANNOT forget the woman that was actively being swallowed by the buried and when there was nothing she could possibly do she lied down on the ground and accepted her fate so thoroughly and with such calm that it had to barf her back up.
And if my memory is correct she KEPT TAKING THE UNDERGROUND TO WORK
explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly
āCovid game me narcolepsyā no you fucking pervert it didnāt. Youāre just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didnāt make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo
I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.
You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophiliaā¦.
Yall, I canāt believe that I have to do this, but I am going to say this in as clearly as possible
The anon was very confused.
I have Narcolepsy, which is a sleep disorder. Narcolepsy has nothing to do with Necrophilia. I am not into necrophilia.
I didnāt realize that one said ānecropolises.ā Thatās actually so funny. I think that one must have been a joke
(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,
inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.
can we focus on the gnome for a second
wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat
these are the people i have to share a highway with
reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . theyāre both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney
Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.
Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the
PLEASE read this
bankston is my HERO heās tearing these people apart
damn
HE LEFT
????
oh my god
KILL HIM
he is DONE.
HELP ME .
wow. ok.
genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks benās lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .
doing a reread now this is so cunty
goddamn .
fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.
how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar
Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.
I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part
MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.
is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.
like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.
Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.
Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.
I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.
I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'
Like... come on man, 310 pages isn't even what I would've considered a particularly long book as a kid.
Chat, is it considered āabusive roommate behaviorā to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)
For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called āPrincess Timeā where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and Iād quickly clean that stuff up.
So like, if Iām expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed ātrashā by the trash panda and thrown away.
We havenāt done since we moved into the house, because I didnāt want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon
I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.
I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.
Those vibes are likely because Iām the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao
if you have a problem with any of the fictional pairings that i enjoy on the internet, for the low cost of $9,000 you can pay me to care about what you think
Price doubles if you want me to pretend Iām swayed by your opinion.
Another $4,500 if you want my pretending to be swayed to be convincing instead of half-assed
Also this is a monthly payment
It is sooooo diabolical for Armand to stalk Daniel and report back to Louis for 50 years just for Louis to giggle and bat his eyelashes and go āwait but what if we pretend we havenāt seen him since SF and invite him to interview us again while you pretend to be my maidā and Armand goes āsure babe but first let me steam my purple silk top and send the chef his favorite dessert recipeā like yeahhhh theyāve all been alive for too long and have completely lost their minds your honor
Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like āit takes months or even years to fully recoverā and itās like okayā¦. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday