syncope

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ⋅˚₊‧ empathy for the homunculus and the desire to be happy ‧₊˚ ⋅ 22 | pwDID + ASD | ♿️ | he/it | arab ੈ✩·₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩·₊˚

[sinkopation]

꩜ intro post:

dni : minors , radqueers (+transIDs) , homo/trans/fatphobes , racists/bigots , ED blogs , anti-psych/improvement , pedos/zoos, ppl who still use RAMCOA acronym

꩜ hi, i’m syncope!

22 | it/its | local cripple [see below]*

୭ [ complete idiopathic kypho-scoliosis (cervical, lumbar, thoracic) -> peripheral neuropathy [ accompanying HSD ]

୭ autism spectrum disorder + SPD

୭ post-traumatic stress disorder -> DID (of ~13)

୭ asks and discussions are welcome!

* to specify, i am diagnosed with all of the listed disabilities and have been for quite some time— they are important facets of my identity and i made this account specifically to discuss disability and find community.

while i am actively in treatment for my disabilities, i am not a professional, and i am open to the fact that i may be wrong about certain assertions i have and am always open to learning new things!

୭ resources for those with dissociation

sinkopation's strawpage

this is a side blog, so likes and follows will come from my main blog ˎˊ˗

[sinkopation]

i haven’t been very active on here for quite some time as i have been dealing with a myriad of issues. bombings in lebanon have made contact with my remaining family members living in beirut difficult, a family member has a difficult cancer diagnosis, and while i have made strides in processing my trauma, i have uncovered more buried truths that i never realized before.

i may eventually come back to regularly posting, but this environment online is hostile for people like me, and i only made this account to truly share my experiences. i didn’t expect it to amount to much.

hope everyone is well.

[sinkopation]

they already explained it in the comments but the reason i was upset about your DNI was because it was like you didnt want anyone who experienced OEA and such to interact with you at all. i appreciate you for specifying 👍

i think that the way you handled the ask was very rude. i never said “OEA” in my DNI, simply RAMCOA. you then therefore took that as a personal attack and lashed out at me. when the person in the comments of that post helped explain to me the situation, that was a big help.

i don’t mean to come off as offensive or rude, i think you just need to re-evaluate your level of escalation to random people on the internet who are just trying to protect themselves from triggers.

[sinkopation]

im not sure why youre putting RAMCOA/OEA systems and people in your dni when it is a very real thing people go through. thats really weird?? yeah sure invalidate the fact i have gone through things so bad my body literally convulses when it tries to get a grip on what happened to us.

my bad. i am a survivor of extreme mind control, drugging, and assault. i do not need to explain why i have something in my DNI to validate people on the internet.

my dni is a protection for me. not everything is about you, sorry.

(edit to add: i also have ED blogs in my dni, mostly because i am recovered from an ED. why would i want people with those blogs to interact? to purposefully trigger me? it’s the same thing.)

[sinkopation]

i’d love to go out but i have the autism that makes public spaces deal -100 damage to me when i enter them

[august-zip]

"I have a racist alter"

No I'm pretty sure you're just racist

[sinkopation]

nuanced opinion in respect to this, but yeah this can happen. particularly, many pwDID have introjects of abusers from their past and therefore those alters can take on facets of that individuals believes/ideals.

this is in no way to excuse racism or any other harmful ideology, but it is to say that if we start clumping pwDID into entireties (ie. saying every alter in a system is the same) it completely neglects to address that they can get better in terms of managing and rejecting harmful practices that they were exposed to prior.

it’s about accountability. if a person notes they have a racist/harmful alter, that’s the first step to assessing their behavior and fixing it. that alter may have suffered from racism from an abuser and is mirroring that behavior as a survival strategy. saying they have a racist alter indicates that not all of their alters are racist and instead of focusing on the negatives, it would serve better to reinforce tolerance amongst all of the alters in the system.

again, maybe this is nuanced, but i fear this post has a very black and white thinking in terms of a very gray area. if a person is BRAGGING about a racist alter, that’s a completely different issue, but in general i do believe that certain alters (particularly abuser-introjects) can have vastly different opinions, ideologies, etc. that were foundational to the body’s survival at some point in their life and that if someone is actively harming you, racist in some way, etc. then it is your duty to separate yourself from them. not demonize them (as that just may make it worse).

[carnage-cathedral]

btw guys managing your symptoms also means apologizing for things you didn't mean to do. sometimes you do things because of your disorders that you genuinely didn't mean to do, but if it hurt someone you still have to take accountability and make up for the hurt you caused

[sinkopation]

accountability is the first step to growth in many cases.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[problematicfactive]

It's okay to lie about your source. You don't owe anyone the truth about your system

[sinkopation]

all of my introjects are of real people from my childhood so i usually don't tell the truth anyway. like "sorry i was a huge dickhead, I was actually my FATHER there for a moment! haha! whoops!"

[sinkopation]

dormant reset. reset. reset.

learning new things. barriers broken, crumbled. it is beyond what i anticipated, though, i did predict this kind of reaction. put on the headphones, what do you hear? raise your hand if you hear it. what are they saying?

think closely, what number am i thinking of? you get really good at guessing the more you do it. accuracy, reset.

look at the screen. what do these patterns mean? hear my voice. what do these images have in common.

wrong, scratch, wrong, scratch. i don’t want to have this on my head anymore. i want to be alone now. i don’t like being watched.

break time! do you want snacks? take a nap. can’t nap. i’m the only one awake. a sea of sleeping kids on cots. eyes wide. room dark. i want to go to sleep.

[sinkopation]

also not everyone who went through trauma has a dissociative disorder btw some people are cursed with remembering (RIP to them)

[sinkopation]

i spent every day in fear. everything i do there is fear. most people do not live like this or understand it. i do. this is trauma. this is illness. yes, showcase happiness, but do not belittle grief and pain. all emotions are equal and to not understand the impact of one emotion neglects the other. every day is a nothingness of everything. an amalgamation of opaque things turning transparent. invisible to me.

[sinkopation]

sometimes when i tell people i have low-empathy they immediately start to treat me like im entirely apathetic; they don’t confide in me as much or they actively insist i wouldn’t “understand.”

i understand, i sympathize, and i do empathize to an extent. just because you’re understanding of my perceptions in rooted in ablest views of autism doesn’t mean i am forced to sit in the box you put me in.

[levon-deactivated20260124]

some of you aren’t even perverts you just have normal sexual desires that you are ashamed of

[acegender]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[sinkopation]

putrid

[mlarayoukai-archive]

"this thing is rare and only affects 1% of the population" dude that's 80 million people can you shut up

[sinkopation]

it’s actually believed a lot of statistics are grossly underestimated and don’t account for population growth and other natural phenomena that change the likelihood of something affecting mass portions of the population.

[pngblog]