Unbetitelt

[ilikeit-art]

[cartoondog]

we are gonna be vacuuming up this post for the next five years

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

[ivvyela]

nothing on this god's green earth can convince me that peter parker doesn't have an ao3 account where he is elbows deep in a 'rise of skywalker' fix-it fic. like, fully invested in it, been writing it pre-spider bite with ned, who is just as enthusiastic about it. but the thing is, it's really hard to do updates when you are literally spider-man.

every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"

and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"

and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."

ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."

ao3 goes down for two days.

[themoonandmyman]

I love Cliff but he is the most sexless character in the world to me Personally. I view him as more of a large chair or lamp…

[mxjackparker]

Making motivational "it's never too late to transition" posts is really undercut if the age you're highlighting is still young. Claiming that your transition was late and it worked out great for you actually makes older people more afraid to transition if you're saying that shit in your 20s. How do you think a trans person in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s feels when you're 23 and calling yourself a late transitioner?

It's never too late until you're in a coffin. It is worth it for a single day of being yourself, even if you're 110.

[imnormal445]

I'd say no one's trying to take Shane from him but girl I am so 💀

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

trophy room this, ilya getting his ass ate that. the real travesty would be if they don't include ilya eating cookies n cream at the hollanders

[themoonandmyman]

He’s gonna be eating ice cream in a blanket and doing his happy little pasta shimmy and we’re gonna get to see it….

[vesnuszki]

whenever someone draws shane hollander as a twink… describes his muscles as anything but bulging …. his cock as anything but thick and girthy… an angel loses its wings

[madebymothman]

Leo's been fucking going through it so I drew them a thing to cheer them up based off of this post 💛

[ilyasmole]

is this a safe space to share that i think shane hollander sleeps with a stuffed animal, more specifically a stuffed polar bear named snowy that he's had since he was a toddler and who ilya has adopted and accepted as a third presence in their bed (except when they're having sex and snowy is delicately or often haphazardly shoved under the bed to protect his innocence). yes i want to write a fic about this.

[ilyasmole]

hi so i'm bringing this back because i've finally decided what snowy looks like. he is this specific 1993 coca cola polar bear

yes this is canon in my brain

[pangur-and-grim]

I think some of the loneliness of autism is that you feel like you hurt people just by Interacting Wrong, but you don’t know how to Interact Right, and the more effort you put into it, the more exhausted you are and the more artificial it comes across (with the end result of people still being upset with you). and it’s not anyone’s fault for not liking Being Interacted With Wrong, and it’s not your fault for doing it so wrong, but it is very, very lonely.

[swagophile]

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

[most-sane-classicist]

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

[shrekhollander]

Jade Pike: *Hayden, Shane and Jackie are inside the house getting food and Ilya is outside with the Pike kids and Anya* Uncle Shane, Uncle Ilya had an accident in the car... Ruby is helping him.

Shane and Hayden: *They get super concerned and get outside fast af because Ilya was showing off his Porsche to the kids, they immediately head out to see what happened*

Ilya: *Is stuck inside this thing*

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[greenfinchwriter]

I personally don't think Hollanov,and the Centaurs in general (as a whole) would ever do the "no sex during the playoffs" nor the "no shaving during the playoffs" superstitions.

Would they have their own superstitions and rituals? Oh for sure!

But I just don't believe for a second Shane and Ilya would stop fucking for that long when neither of them has ever seen a shred of credibly provable evidence that the whole playoff season celibacy thing produces any more than cranky,distracted team mates instead of more intense,and better play. Those two can't keep their hands off of each other,if anything they are convinced they play better the more they fuck. You can't tell me they don't have at least one weird sex based playoffs ritual - like Shane teaches Ilya some mizuhiki so they can incorporate decorative ones into their shibari sessions just before they head into the playoffs, or there is some sex toy or scene that's "lucky" if they use it/play it out or something🤔😏😂

I think Shane and Ilya would need and cherish the release of a scene, or even just lazily fucking in their hotel shower before tenderly washing each other,to calm down and come back into balance after these highly charged, physically,and psychologically draining games.

Stress relief is a good, much healthier option, friends. Whether that's achieved via sex or meditation or whatever else works for the person in question is irrelevant. As long as it's neither harmful to themselves or anyone else, nor otherwise destructive or dangerous, it's all good.

Of course,having said that,I can only imagine some sports journalists probing Centaurs era Hollanov for their clearly incredibly successful playoff season strategies,only for Ilya to have to fight for his life so he doesn't burst out cackling since he'd probably get into trouble with Harris,and their publicists again if he told them that their secret weapon is lots of kinky gay sex. Meanwhile Shane is having the same thought and accompanying images stuck in his mind, and has to deliver his usual media trained spiel with a beet red head😂

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

[drstarlight]

[toonskribblez]

[taleofdaringdo]

[angel-mistakes]

Fic where Hayden thinks Shane is asexual and aromantic and tries to be supportive of that, only to get hit by a bus when he learns of FreakAssHornyAssShane

[hollanov-words]

Some random corner of the internet is being parasocial and calling Hollanov a PR marriage and a random person is like "my cousin's cousin's girlfriend used to clean their house in Ottawa. Definitely not a PR marriage. Apparently they go through a lot of couch cushions and bedframes."