snugisnobug

Lain, late 20s, Trans Man, He/Him

[rosees3ray]

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

[catmask]

by the way. it never is too late to decide you want to be happy. the woman who helped me get hormones didnt start hers until she was 70, and i met her at 73, beautiful and smiling - and told me that the last three years of her life had been her favorite. your favorites might be ahead of you too. why not hang around and find out?

[feynites]

Tip:

When it comes to stuff like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc, I’ve found it’s usually way better to think to yourself ‘I don’t want to be’ than ‘I’m not’.

I.e. if someone goes ‘that thing you just did is ableist’, instead of going ‘I’m not ableist, I don’t hate disabled people!’ it’s usually a lot better to go ‘I don’t want to be ableist, I should rethink what I’m doing/saying/etc in light of that fact’. Because that shifts your thinking so rather than jumping straight into denial and attempts to defend your character, you’re instead more inclined to look at how your actions could be misrepresenting your intentions. Or whether you’ve overlooked something, been callous, or acted in ignorance.

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[luxiomahariel]

i think landlords should be obligated to house homeless people through heatwaves like this

[this-is-trans-joy]

My post about transfems having periods is getting a bit of traction again, but mostly for the wrong reasons since TERFs have gotten their hands on it, so another friendly reminder that trans women/fems or anyone on estrogenizing HRT tend to experience period or period-like symptoms due to their hormonal cycle and referring to it as their period is not only a perfectly accurate description but also none of your godamn business. Menstruation is only one part of a period, not the whole thing, and not every period comes with menstruation in the first place, even if you’re a cis woman.

Trans women can have periods, and instead of interrogating them on why you think that’s not possible, instead ask them questions such as “how can I help?” or “what do you need?” or “do require chocolate, painkillers and/or a very comfortable blanket and a movie?”

[evil-enby-osoka]

i hate that nonbinary people can't be, like, nonbinary.

whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.

if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."

if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."

we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.

we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."

we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.

if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.

if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.

our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).

but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.

we just can't win, and it's upsetting.

[vithcy]

Can anyone stop being an anti black racist for a moment? I want a chance at enjoying things again

[vithcy]

I'm not even kidding it's so clear that everyone sees black people and especially black women as some sort of alternate species. I'm getting into doll collection & customization videos because I've been getting into collecting myself and toys and art are supposed to bring me happiness and even there I can't escape the anti blackness. Like... you're lucky if you find a character or doll that's consistently brown skinned and carefully designed in popular brands. Collectors will always favor light skin or fantasy colors anyways. I had to watch a white creator call a custom Garnet doll "dummy thicc" and describe her in progress proportions as "female rappery" why couldn't just have said curvy? You're not funny or cool and I'm very tired

[crippled-peeper]

“you’re a grown ass man and you need help doing that?” some grown ass men are disabled ma’am

[crippled-peeper]

adult men who are disabled deserve compassion and understanding and support and not just endless verbal abuse from sheltered privileged assholes who think they are punching up let’s be so for real

[this-is-trans-joy]

I’m more than a little concerned at seeing recommended tumblr communities with names like “queer teens” or “nonbinary teens” and advertising themselves as a space for teenagers as young as 13 to make friends with each other. I don’t wanna sound like anyone’s dad here, but this is… not safe. Anyone can join those communities, they’re not private unless you make it private. You can’t trust that everyone in there is actually a teenager, so please don’t advertise your age or other people’s ages like that in online spaces. You can absolutely make private communities or discord servers with trusted friends, but not public communities that anyone can join, especially if those communities are specifically targeted at marginalised— and therefore vulnerable— teenagers.

[lobstabear]

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

[knittingontheroad]

I became a tattoo artist at 49.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

As long as you're breathing, you've got time.

[psychotic-gerard]

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

[roguebombshell]

I remember when I was about 12, I watched a show on TLC that followed people as they got somewhat uncommon medical procedures.

There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it's stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a "man nipple" (can be shown) and a "woman nipple" (no no must obscure, 'tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that's the moment when it becomes a woman's nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it's the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

"Free the Nipple" was calling out arbitrary bullshit like that, because someone just existing with their body parts should not be considered obscene, and the double standard that men can be topless but women can't is so blatantly ridiculous. All nipples are just nipples. If you get turned on or bothered by them, that's on you.

[nonbinarynow]

Reminder that you don't have to call yourself AMAB or AFAB. You don't have to say "I'm AFAB nonbinary." Saying "I'm nonbinary" is enough. You don't need to identify with what you were assigned as by some doctor however many years ago. Mentioning your ASAB is scarcely relevant to most conversations, even those about medical transitioning.

Nonbinary is enough, you don't have to supplement it with a binary system of any kind. It doesn't matter how many people want to know your "transition direction." It doesn't matter how many people want to know what your genitals are (which wouldn't be alluded to by your assigned sex anyway). It doesn't matter how many people want to binarise you. It doesn't matter how many binary people you confuse. No one needs to binarise you. Nonbinary. Is. Enough.

[vinterfeminism]

This is interfeminism!!

[bitchautism-deactivated20250906]

dislike how many mental health posts on here are just "you've never done anything wrong in your life ever and they were evil for that"

[bitchautism-deactivated20250906]

maybe you did do something wrong. maybe you hurt someone. maybe you have said awful things. maybe you were just as bad as them. maybe. but what matters is that you move on. you have to try. you have to wake up and be kinder. you have to learn and listen and grow. maybe you did do something wrong but that doesn't mean you have to keep doing that. as long as you are alive, you can change

[lichen-punk]

honestly i think the reason why it’s so common for kids to have the “it’s not a phase, mom” argument in their adolescence is less because they genuinely plan for their current state of being to remain utterly unchanged forever and more because they’re tired of having their interests/self expression/beliefs/etc dismissed as foolish due to being probably temporary

i know that when i was that age i certainly wasn’t thinking about whether or not i’d be into whatever shit i was into then when i was 80, all i knew was that i was sick of feeling like the adults in my life were just rolling their eyes and waiting out everything that was important to me at that moment

[screambirdscreaming]

I think another key thing conveyed by "it's not a phase" is that you won't return to being what they expect. Not necessarily that you're going to be This exact way forever, but that the next thing after STILL isn't gonna be the mold they're trying to put you in.

Whether or not being goth or w/e is a phase, *being your own person with your own priorities and interests* is NOT a phase, and that's what really rankles for people to not get.

[nudityandnerdery]

[vaspider]

Look. The way you ask for a refill?

Sometimes, what you need to do is literally ask for a refill. I know that can be scary and upsetting and requires you to be willing to be vulnerable, but please consider two things:

One: if what you want to do is be able to fill other people's cups, you can't fill from an empty cup. You literally can't do the work if you're emptied out. You need to do this so you can help.

Two: for the people that love you, the people that really matter, you aren't imposing on them by asking for a refill. This is one of the things I really internalized from coming home to Judaism: when someone asks me to help them, they're giving me the opportunity to perform a mitzvah. No matter your belief system or outlook, I think we can probably all agree that being given an opportunity to be more awesome is pretty great.

So ask. Here are a few scripts you can try.

"Hey, I am...

... having a bad day.

... really struggling.

... really hurting because of the state of the world.

... having a hard time focusing on positive things.

... feeling emptied out.

Could you please help me? I could really use...

... some company.

... to hear about something beautiful you saw today.

... to hear some good news.

... to see a picture of your pet.

... to be told something you like about me.

... to be reminded of something I do that you like.

... your silliest new meme.

... to go for a walk with you.

... to hear about your favorite show.

... a hug."

I have genuinely never asked my friends to love me a little bit louder and gotten anything but an outpouring of support.

People love you and want to take care of you. All you have to do is give them an opportunity and maybe tell them the best way to love you right now.

[cincoflex]

I need to share this.

I need to remind people they too can ask me for a refill.

We are stronger together.

[ometochtli2rabbit]

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day

[icereader12]

Reminder that blood quantum laws were imposed so governments could cheat treaties and not pay what they owe.

Let indigenous peoples decide who is and isn't a member of their tribe.

[stitchy-queerista]

[Image ID: cups of coffee arranged in a 6 x 6 pattern. They contain different amounts of cream so they go from light brown to dark brown in a visually satisfying gradient. Each cup is individually labeled "indigenous." End ID.]