itās true you canāt draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors theyāre marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their ācollective pathā as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you canāt do on your own.
im just fucking with you iām pretty sure this has no right answer
You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.
"Thrifting" seems to gradually have become synonymous with "Goodwill/Salvation Army," and I worry that the next generation is unaware of the variety of places to buy used goods. So, let's list some out.
Folks are welcome to add their own resources. My list is US-centric, because that's where I live. Though I mainly talk about men's clothing on my blog, I'm including all second-hand merch here, and a little hand-made.
A few things that apply across the board:
Thrifting takes time. Do not expect to always find something.
Write down all your measurements: measure your body as if for tailoring (guide when you don't have someone to help) / dressmaking, measure your favorite clothes. Measure the spots in your house that could use furniture/art. Measure how much space you have in your car.
Keep a measuring tape in your car / on your person. Same with any color samples, etc, if you're furnishing your home. You never know when you may spot a shop or sale to pull into.
Learn what can be fixed/altered with the skillset and resources you currently have. Start off by buying what you can live with as-is.
Buy for yourself. Once you develop some thrifting skills, only then should you consider flipping items.
You cannot rescue everything. Again, buy for yourself and what you honestly expect to use. Resist the urge to hoard!
When I suggest searches, your starting places should be facebook, search engines, and google maps. You are searching for both in-person and online resources. Once you find a place in person, ask around for recommendations.
There is more out there than can be reasonably hoarded or sold! Seriously, chill out at the thought of resellers. There's so much out there. Old != rare.
On to second-hand shopping! These are my own categories, and there aren't always clear lines:
Thrift stores
Thrift stores generally sell donated goods. General wisdom is that you can find better stuff at thrift stores in high income areas, but stores like Goodwill will move inventory around, so that isn't always the case.
The big national stores are Goodwill and Salvation Army. Both are shady, you can do your research here. There are also regional chains, like Savers. A thrift store may be for-profit or non-profit.
Chains may have store tiers: for example, Goodwill has regular stores, "boutique" stores (higher end clothing), an online store/auction site, and warehouses where you sift through bins to buy by the pound.
A warning: Big chains are increasingly selling overstock items from cheap manufacturers; most of it is garbage, imo.
Tip: It's a common practice for thrift stores to have a tag color of the week that is heavily discounted -- this helps them move old inventory.
Smaller thrift stores are where I find a lot of gems. Many are run by churches, hospice facilities, senior centers, and humane societies. Keep your eyes open, or do a search on Google Maps. There are also niche stores -- I've seen art supply and fabric thrift shops.
Consignment / resale stores
These stores buy their merch from people and resell it. When buying, they may give cash or store credit. Some stores work on a consignment model, which means you don't get your money/credit until your item sells.
A pawn shop is the prototypical resale store. So is a used bookstore. Antique stores usually are, too, but not all actively buy from walk-ins.
You may be familiar with some chains: Play It Again Sports, Plato's Closet, etc.. Look for your local stores as well as non-chain online stores that suit your interests. (I'll be adding some vintage clothing stores next time I update my wardrobe recommendations post.)
You may also get lucky at places that do repairs: cobblers selling shoes, vacuum/sewing machine repair shops selling machines.
Salvage stores
Salvage stores sell items they have found for free, bought in lots at auction, or had donated by corporate sponsors. Many of these stores are specialty stores, but some are indistinguishable from thrift shops.
Habitat for Humanity is a big one for building supplies and furniture.
Many towns have a salvage furniture store. C&D Secondchance was a favorite of mine when I lived in Central Florida. These places will literally have $20 nightstands and chairs stacked to the rafters.
A lot of junk-hauling places may have a store -- these can be amazing to visit. Same with any junk shop with a zero-waste philosophy. If you're in G'ville, Florida, the Repurpose Project was a fav of mine.
Architectural salvage is also a very common sub-type here -- it's where you can buy columns, doors, windows, doorknobs, etc. But they have keened onto trends in home decor and tend to jack up prices.
You can even find salvage grocery stores -- they are where seasonal breakfast cereal and dented packaging go for one last attempt at a sale. You'll learn quickly that "best by" dates are usually just a suggestion.
Generally, things from salvage stores will require some elbow grease to get looking nice. But not always. Unclaimed Baggage is a great exception -- they sell items from lost luggage.
Surplus/overstock/liquidation
Surplus stores sell either items that are new, but no longer on the open market. Or, they sell items that an organization no longer needs.
Army/Navy stores are commonly thought of as the typical surplus store, though their quality varies. Stores like Ross are national chains that are overstock stores.
Large organizations use surplus stores to liquidate their old assets. Your local government, library, or school system will likely have regular sales and auctions. Or a commercial store may be going out of business. Search online for what is near you.
Home liquidation
These are your garage/tag/yard/moving sales. Generally, these are items a household no longer has a need for.
Announcements are often placed in facebook, craigslist, local papers. Look for signs posted around neighborhoods. And many communities do group sales, where they encourage everyone to have their garage sale all on the same day.
This category also includes estate sales, which is the selling of assets after a person dies. Most of the time, these are run by companies that specialize in this market.
Estate sales are pretty amazing - they are a time capsule of a person's life and you never know what you will find. I have gotten everything from paintings to cleaning supplies. If you are a sewist, estate sale curtain liners and other linens are fantastic for mockups.
Announcements are similar to garage sales. Be prepared to brush elbows with resellers on the first day. Prices are typically slashed by the last day. I have been to some sales that were so poorly attended and so time-sensitive (the house was being immediately sold), the family just begged me to haul away (for free) as much as could fit into my car.
It may feel ghoulish to buy a dead person's stuff, but it's typically a huge relief for the family to see it all go. Trust that the family has saved the sentimental items -- you are doing a favor by taking home all the mundane things like silverware vs it going in the trash.
If the family is on-site, be respectful. I have found many are delighted to know that their loved one's items will go on to be treasured by someone else vs going to a reseller.
Many estate sales are also held online and offline as auctions. Auction Ninja is a popular site, though many others exist.
Scratch-and-dent / outlet stores
These stores sell new items with cosmetic or other minor imperfections. These are not always standalone stores -- they may be a section inside the store, like IKEA or many furniture stores. This isn't quite the secondary market, but adjacent.
Scratch and dent is going to be hit-or-miss, especially if it's directly from the brand. Buying the floor model of a piece of furniture is not quite the secondary market, and imo, you are better off buying used.
I do not count outlet stores even in this fuzzy category -- that is because goods are increasingly being produced *just* for outlets. It is no longer the case that this is where factory seconds and seasonal stuff gets funneled to. Stop shopping at outlets -- you are not getting a deal and the products are intentionally inferior.
Direct sales
This is the big one. You are likely going to get the best product and prices directly from an individual.
There's lots of sites out there for buying/selling stuff online - Poshmark, eBay, etsy, Depop, Vinted, etc. And lots of ways for stuff in-person: Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, etc.
A special note: Instagram has become increasingly popular for people selling niche used goods, especially in the vintage world.
Many of these places are driven by user reviews, so learn the etiquette and any group rules. Remember that this isn't Amazon, so be kind when sellers need more than a day to ship to you. And when you by in person, being on-time and paying with cash are king.
When buying online, learn the jargon. NWT (new with tags) and NOS (new oldstock) are common abbreviations. Develop a good eye for reviewing photos for quality -- hunt for flaws. And don't be afraid to ask for additional photos or info, such as measurements or if there's enough seam allowance in a garment for an alteration.
Because there are so many online sales, I like gem.app to search across multiple sites. But even this tool barely scratches the surface.
There are also niche communities that buy and sell amongst themselves. My vintage menswear group on Facebook does this. Many vendors - especially those who do frequent, small drops - have a facebook group for the secondary market (My partner is part of a makeup group just for Notoriously Morbid.). And large online forums for special interests often have a buy/sell/trade sub-forum. (As a leatherworker, I frequently visit leatherworker.net's marketplace)
Freecycling / buy nothing / swaps
This is where you can get items for free, and sometimes trade. Lots of seasonal and kids' stuff. Petfood that kitty refuses to eat. Pantry goods that haven't expired yet. That sort of thing. Check Nextdoor and Facebook for local "buy nothing" groups.
You may also have some in-person.
There are also groups that do swap meets. As a trans man, I'm mostly familiar with LGBTQ+ orgs hosting clothing swaps. But many specialty hobbies also do similar,
Events & markets
Holiday markets, flea markets, swap meets, antique shows -- the lines for all of these have increasingly become blurred. Check your local events for what is near you. Some of these happen like clockwork on a regular cadence, and some are popups.
Don't be afraid to attend events outside your norm -- for example, I am not religious, but enjoy going to church rummage sales.
The "Antique" fair is a wide category these days. I've seen crafts, imports, vintage clothing, and 100+ year old furniture all at the same event. If you are in the New England area, I highly recommend Brimfield. If you are in Florida, the Renniger's shows.
Again, learn the etiquette. Antique fairs generally encourage haggling, but still feel out the individual vendor's vibes. I usually just hold up an item questioningly and see if they throw out an offer. On the flip side, crafting vendors will find it incredibly rude if you suggest a lower price for their wares.
Multi-day events tend to have predictable rhythms: as the days wear on, prices go down and vendors start packing up. I generally go early in the run, and also on the last day.
Wrap up
I'm sure I'm missing some resources. I know I'm short on individual links -- this is where you'll need to search on your own, based on your location and interests. (And please people - feel welcome to drop in specific links to your favs, even if they are regional.) The secondary market is huge!
And remember: Thrifting works best as a routine. I probably browse online daily and in-person several times a month.
To avoid being frustrated when you can't find something: treat thrifting as visiting a weird, ever-changing museum where you occasionally find something super cool.
And when it's time to part with your own stuff, consider releasing it back into the secondary market, be it by selling or donation.
As both an avid thrifter and small time reseller, this is a good guide.
I will underline that thrifting is a lifestyle and not a one time thing. If you are looking for something specific and you hit all the stores in your areas you're unlikely to find that specific thing. But if you routinely visit stores/sales you will eventually find something good that you need.
I routinely look for dresses in my size every time I shop and usually I find nothing or nothing I like, but one time I found 4 good dresses at one shop. I would never have been able to go find my holy grail vintage sewing machine if I intentionally went looking for it locally, but one say I walked into a Goodwill I normally find nothing at and I got my dream midcentury machine in a full desk for $40.
But you can't find your dream items if you don't go regularly.
Also another place to look for is Restore, run by Habitat for humanity. They are in lots of places and you can find great house stuff there, from furniture to home renovation stuff (especially stuff like fans/lights/blinds, etc), appliances, and decor. I replaced a broken dishwasher there for $50 once. Individual stores also have random stuff like clothes and sometimes crates of returned items.
I will say, though -- as you get better shopping on the secondary market, you'll get a feel for the seasonal rhythms, quirks of your locality, and what types of items regularly pop up. For example, there are certain antiques I know I can almost always find on marketplace. Or if I need a bowl or basket, I know which Savers tends to usually have one. I know which used bookstores have the best non-fiction.
Back when I was a gigging musician, I made it a habit to stop in the thrift shops of whatever town I was staying in. Got a lot of cool and useful things that way.
The wider you cast your net (being willing to travel and/or pay shipping), the greater the odds are you'll find something you want/need. I will drive up to 4 hrs to pick up wins from an auction, and up to 2 for a marketplace item or to go to a fair/market. (This is where coordinating with friends a few towns away can be mutually beneficial.)
Persistence pays off, but you ultimately have to be open to chance guiding the way.
I am holding your face in my hands so gently when I say this:
You cannot optimise your way out of being human
You can take every supplement, superfood, and nootropic going, and you'll still have days when you're ill, when you're tired, when you make stupid mistakes for no good goddamn reason.
You can read every book on non-violent communication, or gentle parenting, you can go to therapy, and be ever so mindful about the people you fill your time with, and you're still going to experience conflict, and misunderstandings, and grief.
You can plan your schedule 24/7 in carefully calculated 3 minute increments to ensure maximum productivity, but that train will still be late, that project will still run over, you'll somehow still never get around to learning that language, or that instrument, or that sport.
You can do your cardio, and track your macros, you can carb-load, or keto, or whatever the fuck dumbass extreme diet is this week's fountain of youth. You can do crosswords, and sudoku, and keep up a 12-step nightly beauty routine, but you're still going to age. You're still going to live through the gradual dissolution of the self, both physical and mental - and that's if you're lucky.
There is no one right way to live your life. Everyone you look at who is somehow managing to live the life you imagine is perfect for you has sacrificed something important to you, or has resources you don't.
I get it. I do! This mortal coil is wrapped so tight around you that you can't breathe if you stop a moment and let yourself be aware of it. There is a book on the shelf in your local library right now that would change you as a person if you read it, but you never will, because it's one of a million and there just isn't enough time.
You are an animal, just electricity in meat. The product of millions of generations of 'just good enough'. Let yourself be that. Learn to be just good enough. Let yourself lie in a sunbeam like a cat. Let yourself search for small pieces of joy like a magpie. Feel every transcendent and wretched inch of your humanity and howl at the moon like a wolf when there's too much of you to fit inside your skin.
You don't have to be perfect, but please, let yourself be you.
For the record, she actually abandoned the movement BEFORE they all got whooping cough, but abandoned it too late. Thereād been a breakout of measles in her area that caused her to reassess, and she and her doctor had already drafted and started a catch-up vaccination schedule, but her kids caught whooping cough just before it could be started. Then she wrote a blog post for The Scientific Parent explaining how she and her husband had come to wrong decisions in the first place, how they changed their mind, the consequences they suffered as a result, and asking other parents to please vaccinate their kids. And now sheās an activist for destroying the misinformation of anti-vaxxers, and reaching out to anti-vaxxers because sheās understands their fears but knows their kids deserve better.Ā
She was trying to the best for her kids and just didnāt know how to interpret the validity of information or its sources, an actual skill that can be actually difficult and that is under-taught and a necessary first step to being able to trust vaccination research, so chose no action over taking an action she wasnāt sure of. She kept looking into it with family and friends and even eventually came to the right conclusion before her kids became sick, but it was still too late.
Honestly it was pretty brave of her to publicly admit she was wrong. She could have just quietly vaccinated her kids and not become a national news story, but instead she spoke out, even sayingĀ āIām writing this from quarantine, the irony of which isnāt lost on me.ā and alsoĀ āI am not looking forward to any gloating or shame as this ādefectionā from the antivaxx camp goes public, but, this isnāt a popularity contest. Ā Right now my family is living the consequences of misinformation and fear. Ā I understand that families in our community may be mad at us for putting their kids at risk.ā
She understood the consequences and still put herself and her story out there.Ā
You know what, it does take a big person to admit they were wrong so publicly and work to undo the harm. I believe I made fun of her in the past, but timemachineyeah changed my mind.
āI never thought leopards would eat MY face, until I realized they totally would, and they will eat your face, too!ā warns defector from the leopards-eating-faces party
#really important actually#like. itās so important that we allow people to STOP voting for leopards eating faces#because if you attack anyone leaving the leopards eating faces party when they realize itās bad#the only support system theyāll have is the people who want them to come back to it#you have to make it possible for people escape instead of considering them forever tainted and impure and inherently evil
The #1 trait of anti-vaxxers is not ātheyāre stupidā or āthey fell for propagandaā but āthey donāt know whoās safe to trust.ā
The movement is pushed by women, especially suburban moms, because they know damn well you cannot trust doctors. You cannot trust the medical industry, the billion-dollar corporate zone of āyou should lose some weight and maybe the pain will stop.ā Cannot trust the ones who keep changing diet advice - is it no sugar? No carbs? No fats? Is it dangerous to let kids eat things in wild colors? Food pyramid: good or bad? They cannot trust the BMI chart that says they should lose 75 lbs to be āhealthy.ā (Whether or not they āshouldā lose 75 lbs, they know damn well that āhealthyā does not describe any part of the journey to getting there.) Cannot trust the ones who keep giving them incomplete and sometimes incorrect information about contraception. The ones who said āthatās false labor; you have two weeks moreā 12 hours before they gave birth. And so on.
So they have their kids, and they want so much for their kids to be safe, and the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
So they ask: What about if thereās complications? An allergic reaction? Side effects?
And the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
This isā¦ not reassuring.
And they ask, My sister-in-lawās cousin had a really bad reaction to the MMR shot and I want to know how I can tell itās safe for my kids.
And the doctors and nurses say: Get them vaccinated.
Throw in the right-wing/libertarian faction yelling YOU CANāT TELL ME WHAT TO DO and the insurance companies saying āhey um you need a specific type of coverage for that; we probably cover those vaccinations but youāll need this special paperwork to be sureā - and then you have the actual anti-vax propagandists yelling some combination of cherry-picked statistics and outright lies, and you get a whole lot of moms willing to say BUGGRE ALL THIS FOR A LARKE.
There is no amount of facts that can fix this. Theyāre swamped with facts from 300 directions. What they need to fix this is empathy and the kind of connections that lead to trust.
They need to trust that, even as the medical industry dismisses a whole lot of womensā concerns, in this particular area, theyāre right.
Add in the consequences of having a significant portion of your social support network tied up in a particular worldview, leaving it, much less openly condemning it, is really hard and means losing your community support. In a world where the system canāt be trusted to pick up that slack, Moms canāt afford to risk the change - until the cost of staying clearly outweighs the coat of pushing back, not just in general, but for their kids.
Kindness doesnāt just matter because itās more ethical - it'salso a more effective strategy.
Kindness doesnāt just matter because itās more ethical - it'salso a more effective strategy.
Get this into your fucking heads. Kindness and compassion and one might even say ālove,ā are strategies, not just vague fluffy inoffensive emotions. Cruelty will never save us.
As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the personās words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm
Living alone by choice is funny because you're like "I wish I had someone to come back to who added light and warmth and companionship to my home, even distantly" but also if anyone else touches your kitchen you'll explode so you can't have that
"The winter sunset is so early and the home is so lonely" *remembers the roommate who never ever even once took the trash out* "and it's staying that way no one is allowed the fuck inside"
To answer non-czech people's questions under this post. There is a tradition in Czechia to fast the whole day before the big dinner on 24.12.
And your reward if you do so is... seeing the golden pig. I've never really believed in czech version of Santa. I did know it was parents. Yet I believed in the golden pig for ...gh...I still believe in you, golden pig!
Golden pig brings you nothing. Your reward is just the pure sight of the creature.
But there is another tradition in Czechia, which is...to bake like 24 varieties of Christmas cookies. That is why the fasting task is just... impossible.
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