The Kitchen Table Chronicles

Just another collection of random thoughts, observations and whatnot. It's a lot like the kitchen junk drawer. A hodge-podge of this n that.

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

Forget waiting til I’m old, I want this now.

[splendiferouswench]

Man, I’m working on this NOW. Though, I might qualify as an old lady…

[lavenderprose]

Today I found out that yarners think crocheting socks is subversive and controversial and I just…on one hand, why the fuck not, I guess yarners are allowed to have their controversies, but on the other, how much time do you have in your FUCKIN DAY??

[lazulisong]

My main concern is how they would feel but Maggie u know yarn fandom gotta think about something while knitting five miles of stockingnette for a sweater

[arinrowan]

Look, you can’t just leave it at that, why is it subversive and controversial? *gets popcorn*

[snipertrifle]

I mean, I’m taking this on good faith, and I’m not saying this is my own personal belief.  I believe in all crafts. 

But…the structure of the stitches and the resulting fabric is pretty different between crochet and knitting.  You get different effects between them, which lends themselves to different crafts.  And none of the effects of (most) crochet stitches lend themselves naturally to socks.  You’re (usually) going to end up with something either stiff and bulky, or full of holes that will Not Feel Good to walk on. Whereas knitted socks will just…BE elastic and comfortable.

Sure you CAN do it.  And there are people and patterns that do it well!!

But MOST crochet socks are a bit like calling this a bicycle

I mean… Okay?  But people are going to Talk.

But this is BABY controversy, this is nothing.  You haven’t even touched on the good shit like RHSS or that time the Olympic Committee dissed us.

[arinrowan]

Iiiinteresting. So one of those “just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD” things.

Also I know very little about the yarn fandom except for that bit where a woman had to fake her death and had a nervous breakdown over selling homespun/dyed yarn so like, I already have big expectations.

[snipertrifle]

Was that the one that “died” of leukemia or the one that “died” of lupus, or the one that overdosed?

[arinrowan]

From what I know of the narrative as it was described to me, I want to say the one that overdosed, but I am intrigued and vaguely concerned that there are multiple distinct individuals the above situation could apply to.

[kimmywithay]

hey umm, what the fuck

[destroyroxy]

the fake deaths thing: indie yarn dyer gets popular, gets overwhelmed by orders, can’t refund money because of shitty bookkeeping, decides faking online death is the only way out.

i’m sure some of them are unintentional rather than premeditated scammers but they’re all still thieving assholes who shouldn’t be running businesses and need to give all the money back.

the olympics commitee: ravelry, well-known knitting (fiber arts in general) site, held a contest they called the ‘ravelympics’ to drum up olympic support then get a cease-and-desist letter for copyright infringement, and the letter said that calling it that ‘denigrates the true nature of the Olympic Games’ and was ‘disrespectful to our country’s finest athletes’

except, you know, ravelry had like 2 million users who all, by nature of ravelry being a website, have basic tech literacy. the social media backlash was so bad that the olympics board had to make 2 official apologies because the first wasn’t good enough.

RHSS: Red Heart Super Saver is cheap Walmart-level yarn. some people hate it because it used to be just really fucking awful and they haven’t bothered updating their opinions. some people hate it because they hate non-natural yarns. some people hate it because they’re yarn snobs(which, btw, comes in two flavors: the disdainful assholes and the people who just don’t see the point if you have the money and don’t indulge yourself). a lot of people defend it because it’s cheap and widely locally available and honestly not that bad after a wash and some fabric softener.

crocheted socks: exactly what kaitoukitty said. people who crochet socks tend to either be new crocheters who are not aware crochet is not the best medium for socks or experienced crocheters who are pushing the boundaries of the medium.

babies on fire: i can’t believe we’re talking about yarncraft controversies and no one mentioned babies on fire. that’s my favorite controversy.

so when deciding what material to make baby blankets out of, in addition to considerations like softness, ease of washing, and allergy concerns quite a lot of people like to consider what would happen to the baby if the blanket was set on fire. yes, really.

wool has the problem of hand-wash only blankets for a new mother (superwash wool exists but that’s a whole ‘nother paragraph), allergy concerns, and also real fucking expensive if you want quality not-itchy-on-baby-skin wool. but pro-wool-blanket people insist that because wool actually resists being set on fire pretty well and also can self-extinguish, it’s the only sensible choice.

acrylic on the other hand is cheap and you can throw it in the washing machine, and while bad quality acrylics might be stiff and plastic-y they’re not itchy, but if it gets set on fire it will melt onto the baby’s skin. pro-acrylic people insist that if your blanket is on fire, you probably have bigger problems than what the blanket is made of.

[kimmywithay]

wow I didn’t expect such a detailed response. thank you!

[gallusrostromegalus]

Fiber Arts Just Be Fucking Like That.

[themushroomtree]

Every single interest a human could possibly have has a clique developed around it. There’s yarn snobs, sewing machine snobs, beer snobs, cloth diaper snobs, camera snobs, coffee snobs, pet snobs….the list goes on and on. Basically, most people are tremendously insecure and have been subconsciously taught that the only way to bolster oneself is to exclude and drag others. Do what you want. You like that cheap yarn? Go on and use it. Wanna make crochet socks (because you can’t knit or for literally any other reason including you just want to)? Go for it, it’s been done, Ravelry has some cute patterns that work really well. If you like something, especially if it fosters your creative drive, don’t you DARE let snooty assholes ruin it.

P.S. I’ve tried a lot of the things people insist are Your Only Good Option and 9 times out of 10 I’m not impressed. Sometimes the hype completely supersedes the Malabrigo yarn, the Featherweight sewing machine, the Goodmama diaper, etc. etc.

[splendiferouswench]

Tatting snobs. Needle snobs. Shuttle snobs- which has a ton of sub snob groups. And none of us will have anything to do with that free standing machine embroidery masquerading as tatting.

[worldcircus]

[blackarachnya]

mutuals do this

[splendiferouswench]

This is creeping me the fuck out.

[ravenclawravings]

Ravenclaw: I’m not good at this.

Gryffindor: Not good at what?

Ravenclaw: Life.

[archdemonsblood]

(Reblogs encouraged!) Testing a theory:

@anyone who is comfortable sharing this information, including childfree people:

1. How many siblings did you grow up with, not including yourself?

2. How many children do you want (including those you already have, if applicable) (Also including adopted children, since some people seem to be confused about that)?

[splendiferouswench]

1) 1 sibling, younger.

2) 3 children

[chants-de-lune]

Millennials watching Gen Z organizing huge rallies and standing up to zero-action politicians 

[unicornempire]

I literally couldn’t be prouder.

[fatfeistyandfashionable]

[splendiferouswench]

Gen Xers too.

That’s my babies taking care of business like a boss.

[tastefullyoffensive]

Bamboozled. (via Kennnaughty)

[splendiferouswench]

😂

[adeles]

#tag yourself i’m Bob

[merrilyfalling]

@lunafrak

[silvergryphon]

I felt like this trying to help my little sister with math homework. She’s six years younger than I am. Six.

[introspectivenavelgazer]

I’m Bob. Then my oldest taught me how it works and weirdly, that helped her figure it out and do it on her own.

[splendiferouswench]

I’m totally Bob. I barely figured out old Math. New Math is straight out of the question.

[guiltrose-deactivated20180203]

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

[theopjones]

What was the first political event you recall hearing about from your childhood?

Probably the earliest political event I have any kind of direct memory of would be the 2000 election. 

9/11 would probably be the second one.

[osberend]

Yoooouuuunnnggg.

I have one tangential memory related to the first Gulf War, and a little more about the 1992 election.

[burning-harvest]

mine is the 2008 election

my parents supported obama, this other kid’s supported mccain. he said “mccain was a prisoner of war” and i said “but isn’t being a prisoner usually bad??” and he looked stumped.

[squareallworthy]

“usually bad”

Taking care to avoid the noncentral fallacy in grade school, good job.

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

I have vague memories of news reports relating to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, when I was 3.

[testblogdontupvote]

I watched Yeltsin‘s resignation speech in 1999 in real time. I remember adults and satirical TV shows talking about the Russian financial crisis in 1998, as well as the Lewinsky scandal, but only vaguely. And I equally vaguely remember stuff about the First Chechen War.

[abilitiesconsideredunnatural]

I remember the Australian 2007 election when I was 11.

A coup in Fiji, likely 2006.

There was something about same sex marriage on the TV but I can’t remember what. I don’t think the ABC would have bothered reporting on a random American state legalising or outlawing it, and it was long before Prop 8. It wasn’t the time that the ACT tried to pass an actual marriage bill. It could be something about civil unions. It could be the 2004 legislation redefining marriage to be explicitly been a man and a woman.

[daltongraham]

Oh you adorable darlings. My first political memory is Nixon resigning, 1974.

[kawuli]

The Berlin Wall coming down, 1989. I was 6 and thought tearing down a concrete wall with sledgehammers looked pretty cool.

[seldnei]

The end of the Iran hostage crisis, 1981. I was 7. I also remember being outraged at Reagan beating Carter.

[lookninjas]

The whole Iran-Contra “I don’t recall” debacle.  I think I was like ten.  I do vaguely recall the Berlin Wall coming down as well, but it doesn’t stick out like my hatred of Reagan does.

[silver-stargazing]

Princess Diana’s death in 1997. I was 4 at the time and I still remember the mountain of flowers and sympathy cards that were placed outside of Buckingham Palace.

[eregyrn-falls]

It’s a toss-up between Watergate, and the Vietnam war.  The thing is I don’t remember hearing the adults talk about it that much, at least not in my hearing?  But even though I was very small, I remember reading Doonesbury, which I loved, and he was doing strips about both things at the time.  So I didn’t necessarily “get” the strips, but on some level I found them really funny?  (Especially the ones about B.D. being taken as a POW by Phred the Vietcong soldier.)

[mxlabradorite]

I feel like it was the Challenger explosion (if we’re counting that as a political situation) or Olliver North.

[noctumsolis]

Berlin wall. I was 7. I didn’t really get it at that age, of which I’m moderately ashamed.

I was born during the Falkland Islands war.

[quasi-normalcy]

When I was five years old, I remember watching my mom dance in the kitchen when they announced on the radio that Prime Minister Mulroney had finally resigned. The earliest one I actually understood the issues and implications of would probably be the Quebec separation referendum of 1995, when I was 8.

[aerosorceress]

one of my older sisters yelling “Gore is more! Bush is mush!” and being very confused about why anyone in my house gave half a fuck about Florida when we lived in Alaska

[nycgeek]

Watergate. I wasn’t in school yet when it started to break, and I remember my preschool stuff watching special reports with my aunt (who was watching me when mom was at work) and my great-grandfather.

[introspectivenavelgazer]

The election of 1984 and Geraldine Ferraro. As well as all of the above. Except Watergate.

[splendiferouswench]

Um...Reagan’s election for sure. Much discussion about an ACTOR in the White House . I do also remember the oil crisis in I guess ‘79. I’d get a kick out of the angst caused by sky rocketing gas prices. Over a dollar! *gasp*. Now I get excited if I can save up enough points to get a dollar off per gallon at the grocery store stations. Then I get down to almost $2 a gallon! And there’s a reality show talking head in the WH. 🙄

[mysharona1987]

[splendiferouswench]

An Open Letter to the Baby Boomers in My Life

Dear Boomers- I do NOT want to know about your sex life. I have NEVER wanted to know about your sex life. You can tell, because I have never once asked. I do not want to know if you are getting any or if you are not getting any. I do not want to know about frequency, duration, or quality (or lack thereof). I do not want to know if you think your partner is cheating. That involves soliciting advice that history has proven you won't follow anyway. I do not want to hear your wild accusations of taboo behavior. I do NOT want to hear about your partner's performance following prostate cancer. I don't want to hear about how your partner pissed you off by waking you up at 3am for sex. I can't even begin to tell you how much I don't want to hear about your partner's masturbation practices. I don't want to help you pick out your first vibrator. I especially don't want to pick it out of the Harriet Carter catalog. I told you once to suck it up and go to a shop. I'm not going to repeat myself. I don't want to know about anybody's hormone levels and how they are affecting your sex life. I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO KNOW!!! (I can't emphasize this point enough. ) I am not a prude. I am NOT going to share one single detail about my sex life with you. Why? Because I have already been stopped by one of your friends, in the middle of the street, in the middle of my hometown's big festival to discuss my fertility. I learned my lesson. You are not trustworthy. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your therapist. I am not a counselor in any way, shape, or form. I am in no way equipped to help, offer advice, or deal with your sex life. I am a good listener. That is true. I even understand the temptation to over share. Here's the thing-I am also your daughter, your daughter-in-law, your niece, your friend's daughter. I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO DISCUSS YOUR SEX LIFE!!! Got it? Good.

[chippinawayatlife-deactivated20]

Frank.

Yours?

[4wearemany-deactivated20191004]

Rhiannon.

Yours?

[aintnomessnomo]

fucking rhonda. and not just rhonda. no, rhonda lynn. my life could have gone a totally different way.

[breatherunlive]

Joshua. 

[glitterordeath]

Polly. Because paired with my maiden name it was “super funny”

[supermomma2000-deactivated20171]

Bethany—ick

[frank-macmurphy-deactivated2020]

Chrichton

[ohmygreyheart-deactivated202202]

Colleen.

[kakakakaaaaatie-deactivated2017]

Aimee. Or Carolina.

Yep.

[thekiltedginger]

Michael.

[codenamedutchess]

Julian…as in Lennon.

[standinginashaftoflight]

My biological mom had named me Erica.

[soulproprietorship]

My Dad wanted to name me Seth, and to top it off he has a really obvious lisp. What was he thinking?

[mywildloves]

Nicole.

[mayhem-and-mischief]

Brandy

[havekidslaughmore]

Stevie

[splendiferouswench]

Andrew. Like didn't even pick out a girl's name. They were shocked to find out they didn't have an Andrew.

[perfect-jerry-blossom]

i can’t wait till i’m 45 and they start putting 2009-2012 pop hits on the “classic” radio station. i’m gonna embarrass my teenage daughter by fucking blasting Party Rock Anthem on our way to school

[resonance-of-libra]

Dude I shamelessly blast party rock anthem on the way to work now.

[splendiferouswench]

😂 Like your favorite HS hits don't end up on "moldy oldies" list before you've even hit your 10 year reunion.

[secretseattle]

[delicatelyhaunted]

Y’all are so excited about the new planetary discovery but I haven’t seen y’all share the Google doodle!

It’s so fucking adorable!

[splendiferouswench]

OMG. 😍

[kentremendousblog]

Are Liberals Helping Trump?

Oh boy.

The central premise of this article seems to be that the center-right Trump voter, the “hold your nose” Trump Voter, might feel alienated by people who vehemently opposed his candidacy and more vehemently oppose his presidency.

A couple things.

1. The “Our Country Is So Divided!” refrain stinks. You can take this back as far as you’d like, but for now we’ll just keep it located on Trump: when one side of a debate says broadly that Mexicans are criminals and rapists, hires anti-semites and neo-Nazis to run the executive branch, brags about sexually assaulting women, and talks about junking the ACA without any idea how to replace it, and then the other side gets angry, you cannot blame “both sides” for creating a divide. If a man gets drunk at a bar and instigates a fistfight, the bar patrons are not “divided.” One of them was “attacked” and “fought back.”

2. You own your vote. There are no perfect candidates, in any election, but you own your vote, whatever it was, and if you can’t defend your vote to people who are upset about it, you should not have voted for that candidate. Sorry your guy is making people upset, afraid, angry, and unwilling to date you if you voted for him. But you voted for him, and he is doing those things. Own it.

3. Whatever anger or vitriol you, Mr./Ms. “Hold Your Nose” Trump voter, are feeling from people who fear Trump, it pales in comparison to being a Muslim or Jew or run of the mill democrat or reporter who speaks out online. Their lives are routinely threatened. The Holocaust becomes a meme generator. A potential Tinder match didn’t want to talk to you? I’m very sorry. The man you voted for sexually assaulted women and bragged about it to Billy Bush on an Access Hollywood bus and you voted for him anyway. Forgive those ladies, won’t you, their lack of interest in you as a life-mate.

4. Side-note: Everyone stop saying Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. It’s utterly irrelevant. The parties swapped ideologies in the mid-20th century. Republicans became Democrats and vice-versa. Read about the Southern Strategy and then stop posting those dumb memes about the KKK being formed by Democrats and Lincoln being a Republican.

5. If you feel angry reverberations surrounding your vote for Trump, a nightmare person who is causing America to have a daily nervous breakdown, please do not take it out on the people who are frightened and upset at his utter inability to lead, govern, stay focused, tell the truth, or do one single thing that does not involve either corruption or borderline treason or both. Take it out on him, the next time you have the chance to vote.