HELLO???
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@spoonsandducks
HELLO???
No matter how much Osmosis Jones yaoi you draw it still takes place inside Bill Murray.
this is like seeing the tip of an iceberg drift past me, & i know theres some weird shit at the bottom of that iceberg but im just not going to make myself look any deeper than the tip today. thank you for this glimpse into your world op
might have made this post a couple years ago but how far back along the evolutionary tree do you have to go before it’s bestiality to have sex with early hominids? I think australopithecus is too far but that’s just an upper bound
actually wait since humans are largely differentiated from our ancestors by neotenous traits maybe it would be pedophilia for an australopithecus to have sex with a human. and bestiality the other way. might have just discovered a new kind of crime
i think everyone in the homo erectus group is close enough to not be bestiality, so australopithecus is exactly the most human-like being for whcih it would still be bestiality. i googled some pictures of homo ergaster and like…yeah thats a dude
Yeah, fucking lucy is definitely bestiality. Australopithecines are just upright apes and don’t share many traits with anatomically modern humans. It’s still a point of contention if we really know that Lucy and her kind were actually our ancestors. Additionally, I HAVE to ask my professors this question now and i can already feel their brain doing backflips to answer
@transhumanoid @transgenderer
My prof finally got back to me, a pretty non answer imo
only on tumblr to people ask questions like “would it be ethical to fuck my primate ancestor from 400,000 years ago?”
The answer is no, mainly because you’re almost defiantly related
the unexpected answer we all ignored: it’s not bestiality, but it is incest
So this post travelled from “is sex with homo habilis bestiality” to “sex with homo heidlebergensis is incest” and I’m now curious as to where it can go next. Presumably “sex with homo sapiens is SIN” which… does seem to be where a lot of tumblr posts go, come to think of it.
I’m not sure if fucking an australopithicus would necessarily be bestiality. I feel like it might be monsterfucking.
Great post everyone
I have some real bad news for anybody here whose criteria for “is it incest if I fuck them” is like “we share any genetic material” because oh boy, well
I heard that modern humans are all, at most, 50th cousins- there was a genetic bottleneck in human history because they think there was a mass extinction event which left only 10,000 of us alive. So, good job, humans.
So what you’re saying is it’s LESS incestuous to fuck an australopithicus than a homo sapiens
Guys, the important consideration is the one we cannot know without a time machine. if you ask an australopithecine if they want to fuck, do they say “Yes” in a language that some kind of universal translator can comprehend? Or do they say “EEEE eee eeee ooo eee?”
If they have language and can and do say yes, it’s monsterfucking. If they don’t, it’s bestiality.
Tumblr: As usual, tackling the important ethical issues of the day.
Can we just at least agree that, in this day and age, fucking most of them would be necrophilia?
What I love about this is seeing that he's clearly a hockey skater. Now, I don't know shit about fuck when it comes to cold slippy antics, but what I notice is different between hockey skaters and nearly all other skaters is that hockey skaters essentially run on the ice. Any other skater is trying to glide, perform, or be otherwise smooth. Create a new type of mobility, but on ice. But hockey skaters? The floor is slippery but that's why they've got knives on their feet, so it's running time. Run run run run.
So this is like playing tag on ice, except the one guy you're trying to get is magically not on ice. And I think that's pretty neat.
He’s also making really good use of the stoppers on the front of his skates. You can clearly see several times that when he starts juking and running he’s not actually running with the wheels in contact with the ground – he’s tipped forward to run on the rubber stoppers, which will give him more traction on the slippery surface. He can change direction faster because none of his kinetic energy is going into countering the inertia of spinning wheels.
I don’t know if the picks on the front of ice skates are used similarly (because ice hockey is not so much of a national pastime in Australia) but I wouldn’t be surprised. But I spent a bit of time with a roller derby team, and I recognised that particular stopper run :)
I think that when you are thinking about planting roses, an important consoderation to keep in mind is that someday, you will die
Perhaps you love the meditative nature of caring for rose bushes but one day you will die, and no one will be able to manage the weirdly intense Gardening Regime that you set for everything you planted and your roses will become overgrown and dangerous and someone, perhaps, even, your beloved grandchild, will be obligated to take a pruning shear the size of their own fucking arm to a bunch of rose canes that are as big around as their own fucking wrist, PERHAPS, PERHAPS THESE THINGS MIGHT HAPPEN. JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP IN MIND.
This is a call out post for my grandfather who I love and miss very much every day... Wish he was still here with us, to trim his fucking rose bushes
Rose bushes are fucking monsters. My mom planted them in front of my sister and my windows so no one would sneak in bc thorns you know. And we can't kill them. We've tried. We've dug them up, poured kill shit on them, dug them up again. They just pop back up the next year like haha nice try! That was fun! We've given up all hope. Someday we will be free. We never water them. They are self sufficient and still thriving.
I hate rose bushes.
Are you sure your family is not under a magical curse?
I am absolutely not sure of that at all and would in fact place a large amount of human money on the fact that we are
This makes me infinitely more wary of the rose bush that just fucking sprouted up outside my office window a few years after we moved here.
@thebibliosphere it's like Demon Rose!
Roses are indeed monstrous pains in the ass.
Depending on the species they’ll either die from too much/not enough sunlight or they’ll turn absolutely feral and devour two trellises, half a picket fence and just about everything else unfortunate enough to get in their way.
Naturally I’m planting more of them around the perimeter of my property. I want neither visitors nor survivors. Consider me socially distanced via rose bush. Six feet and advancing in all directions with worrying speed.
when i say i’m never leaving this site
Didn’t even watch the movie
I call this ‘sunset as you are taken out at the knees by a cattle dog’
I own a cattle dog so. no.
Your photo reminded me some that I have, I call this collection:
“Your horse spooks and bucks down a hill after you let go of the reins to take a photo.”
May I add: body slammed by the other dog midphoto
Breaking D&D news! A family can be a mom, a dad, a weird aberration (probably), and a little sister.
(Family portrait for reference. He’s a lot less blobby now I guess.)
Adoptin’ a blob boy
gasp!
A child
Cas meeting his lil’ sister, who is, in fact, a regular human person.
A bit of fun historical trivia for your Dungeons & Dragons cleric – both gaming history and history history:
In earlier editions of D&D, clerics were typically proficient only with bludgeoning weapons, with the rationale being that clerics aren’t supposed to shed blood. Further, this rule was often claimed to be inspired actual, historical dicta issued by the medieval Catholic Church governing the conduct of their clergy.
Historically, it’s true that the medieval Church did, at various times, issue rules against members of the clergy owning and wielding weapons of war. These rules were issued because many priests and bishops were also wealthy landowners, and often became involved in military entanglements with other landowners – and at least some of those priests and bishops weren’t satisfied with leading from the rear. Many were apparently very keen on getting their hands dirty in person, and had to be firmly reminded that it’s not great optics for a bishop to be out there lopping people’s heads off.
However, there’s no historical evidence that any priests ever tried to work around those rules by restricting themselves to blunt weapons in order to avoid shedding blood. This is not surprising; for one, Church dicta against priests getting involved in combat weren’t always phrased in terms of bloodshed, and even when they were, nobody could reasonably claim that bashing someone’s head in with a mace doesn’t shed blood! Even so, the idea of priests wielding blunt weapons in order to avoid violating rules against shedding blood is not a modern invention; it’s basically a thousand-year-old urban legend.
Now here’s the twist: some martially inclined priests did make a point of carrying staves or rods in battle, but not for that reason. The preponderance of evidence suggests that it wasn’t about avoiding bloodshed, but about plausible deniability: a staff or rod could reasonably be claimed to be a symbol of office rather than a weapon, and rules against participating in battle typically didn’t rule out simply being present at a battle in order to rally the troops.
So, you know, if you were a priest or a bishop who preferred the personal touch, and somebody was like “we literally caught you on an active battlefield carrying what is clearly a weapon”, you could be all hey, this isn’t a mace, it’s a rod, and it’s a symbol of your ecclesiastic authority. You were present at that battle purely to lend moral support to your side’s troops – and if you just happened to be approached by hostile soldiers, and consequently were obliged to bash their heads in with this heavy metal rod that you just happened to have on your person, well, that’s unfortunate, but self-defence is self-defence, right?
From this,we can take away two things:
1. The tradition of rules-lawyering is embedded in the game’s historical inspirations just as much as its own history.
2. The fact that you’re playing a respectable cleric doesn’t mean you can’t be just awful.
I’m trying to picture what sort of holy order that guy could conceivably be a member of such that he’d be able to claim with a straight face that a wrecking ball is a symbol of office, and every possibility is amazing.
always thinking about the production of hamlet i saw at the pop up globe a couple of years ago where everyone was costumed in typical shakespearean dress and the set was fairly minimal BUT! they gave polonius an iphone. it was like a running gag that his ringtone kept going off when hamlet or claudius were trying to speak and they would get more and more impatient with him every time. the cast had perfect comedic timing and it was such a perfect modernisation of typical shakespeare humour
but oh my God. the nervous laughter that rippled through the audience when his phone went off behind the tapestry. the heavy silence that followed, interrupted only by the incessant chime of polonius’ ringtone and a muffled “shit, shit!” while he tried to decline the call. it keeps ringing even after hamlet has already put his sword through him. hamlet picks it up in his bloody hands and ends the call, puts it back in polonius’ grasp before turning back to face gertrude.
hands down the best set up and pay-off of any addition to a shakespeare play i have ever witnessed
jim henson, frank oz & don sahlin showing off how to make various characters with a “whatnot/anything” muppet, 1969
#actual wizard like ACTUAL#you could take the absolute most cutting edge deepfake with every hi-res freckle and hair in place so you could zoom in to the atomic level#and it would not be as Real as this felt egg#with 2 puppeteers clearly visible (via @harrietvane)
where's the tweet thats like high value art heists should be legal and should be like a national pass time between countries like capture the flag. thats my platform
like i'd stay in museum security as a job just for that like to be on the defending team against some other country's art heist team. could be like eurovision but more fun. no bloodshed allowed no weapons u gotta use ur hands only. we should also be allowed to trade players between nations
ninety-six countries immediately descend on the british museum to get their stuff back
I wonder a fairy’s ability to steal names can be counteracted with a “who’s on first” joke
“May I have your name, mortal?”
“What”
“I said, may I have your name?”
“What”
“What is your name?”
“Yes”
“Your name is yes?”
“No, What’s my name”
“THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW”
I don’t know, but I love the headcannon of it
just give em your gamertag.
Cool idea, but idk…
I feel like that could still have *some* weight to it
“Ok, can I have your friends name?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, what’s his name?”
“Who.”
“Your best friend.”
“Yes.”
“Is your best friend’s name yes too?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Who.”
“Your best friend?”
“Yes.”
“What’s your best friend’s name?”
“No.”
“Who?”
“That’s it.”
“WHO’S YOUR BEST FRIEND??”
“Yes.”
“AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
“Well what’s your brother’s name?”
“Why”
“I JUST THOUGHT I’D ASK!”
“Well I just thought I’d tell ya”
D&D Party who does this to a fae
https://www.reddit.com/r/somnivexillology/
a variety of strange flags seen in dreams …
I have never believed that dreams are doors to alternate dimensions but I am reconsidering my stance