Squeakyb is easily amused.

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[sybyl]

so shocked was I that I could not find an existing side-by-side that the lord compelled me

[weaver-z]

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

[rockshitty]

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!

[weaver-z]

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

[explorerrowan]

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

[soaringsearingphoenix]

He was the officiator

[explorerrowan]

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

[cipheramnesia]

Oh my god they were moon mates.

[themoonwheniamlost]

THEY WERE MOON MATES

[kitty-c4t]

[budugu]

[agnosticblowjob]

[joeyclaire]

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

[spiralingintocontrol]

goose

[todaysbird]

[tinsnip]

[nbbybirth-milfbychoice-blog]

[meredactyl]

happy shifting my attention to werewolves thursday

[ojibwa]

what do they put in october and november that makes them the most ungodly mental breakdown psychosis inducing months imaginable. what are they storing in the orange leaves and generally grey drowsy atmosphere

[teaboot]

Sun vanish

Green vanish

Sudden cold

Time moves 3 inches to the left

Here's a story about metaphysical forces beyond your comprehension. Something is watching you, specifically. Why? We don't know.

???

Profit

[teaboot]

Someone lifted you out of your nice cozy warm temperature-controlled terrarium and dropped you into the background of an X-files episode and you want to know what it is about that which your soft mammal body is finding stressful

[wordfather]

well maybe the power of love would fix things did you guys think of that? if not we could try biting

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

hey? mister city? who's eating all the benches?

[silvermoon424]

The amount of mask-off antisemitism coming out around the Kanye West and Kyrie Irving situations is genuinely making me feel sick and I’m not even Jewish. Jewish followers/people reading this post, I’m so fucking sorry, y’all don’t deserve this shit. I wish people would finally leave you the fuck alone.

If you’re trying to defend Kanye or whatever by saying “well maybe he has a point about the Jews,” genuinely go fuck yourself to the deepest pits of hell.

[sliversoakley2-deactivated20210]

[mischievousquokka]

Aw, come on, that's merely a fuckling.

[foxoftheasterisk]

could be a dog

[thingsisayinmyhead]

Took me an embarrassingly long time to get this joke.

[depsidase]

[charlottan]

i call to my children on christmas morning and they all snap their legs running down our ribcage stairs

[bunjywunjy]

the OSHA inspector takes one look at this and starts strangling the architect with his bare hands

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Looking at this broke both of my ankles

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

Old Tumblr post layout with a lot of reblogs

[notabled-noodle]

normal vs not normal: pain edition

normal: your knees/hips starting to twinge after climbing a big set of stairs

not normal: climbing stairs is hard for you, and you start to feel pain after a couple steps

normal: you wake up feeling pain after doing a lot of exercise the day before

not normal: you wake up feeling pain regardless of your activities the day before

normal: you are usually a zero on the pain scale

not normal: you cannot imagine what a pain scale zero would feel like

normal: when you experience pain, there is a direct reason for it, and it is able to be fixed with over-the-counter drugs (such as paracetamol)

not normal: you can’t figure out why you’re in pain, and taking over-the-counter painkillers doesn’t always work to fix it

normal: you do not spend most of your time in pain

not normal: you’ve spent most of your time in pain for over three months

if you experience pain regularly and for seemingly no reason, go to the doctor! you are not supposed to be in pain, and you deserve to find out what’s going on with your body!

[starlightacademia]

"I was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved". I felt starved of affection, starved of love and I felt that it wasn't ok to ask for it. Maybe there was a sense that if I deserved it, it would be there. There must be something I'd done which meant I didn't deserve it."

— Carol Lee, To Die For

[whatsdifferentincanada]

[dykeofhearts]

[edwad]

now that everyone from twitter has joined tumblr overnight, it's time to lay a couple ground rules:

1. it's not called a "retweet", it's called a "reblog", but if you're REALLY cool, you refer to it as a "rebagel"

2. if someone has fewer followers than you, it is totally fair to call them "irrelevant", but it is actually more stinging to call them "irrelephant"

3. if you see someone irl that you think might have a tumblr, you're supposed to say "i like your shoe laces". the correct response, which any true tumblrite would know by heart, is "thanks, i stole them from the president"

4. there is a particular phenomenon that happens after 12am EST called "nightblogging", and everything after this point is the fault of the australians

5. tumbeasts

[meredactyl]

6. the patron saint of tumblr is the xkit guy, who was martyred for the crime of trying to make this hellsite functional.

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

all of tumblr: we fucking hate bots

also tumblr:

[kiralamouse]

Hey, I LOVE bots when they’re just here to play with us. COMMERCIAL bots suck.

[the-haiku-bot]

Hey, I LOVE bots when

they’re just here to play with us.

COMMERCIAL bots suck.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valakiir]