I saw an opportunity and I took it
this what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die
sheepfilms
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
RMH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
h

#extradirty
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Cosmic Funnies
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
Show & Tell
NASA
AnasAbdin
cherry valley forever
Not today Justin
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

oozey mess
No title available

JBB: An Artblog!

PR's Tumblrdome

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@stillinthefield
I saw an opportunity and I took it
this what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die
prev dont leave this in the tags
Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing
Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression
the horse is so fuckable
Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours
How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!
number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly
oftentimes two guys who want to fuck each other not fucking each other is hotter than if they fucked each other
Advice I gave someone today was: 'do it stupid.'
She wants to learn photography. Do it stupid. Take a million photos. Don't think about why they're not good. Enjoy the process of taking photos.
Pick out tge ones you like the most and figure out why you like them. Is it because the subject is centered? Is it because you caught them doing something cool? Is it because the light made cool shadows?
Do it stupid. If you try to do it smart, youll get stuck. If you think too much you'll never get to doing. Do it stupid.
Holy shit
This is honestly how I started quilting! I had fabric, I had a knowledge of backstitch, I had a quilting magazine. I asked "how hard can it be?" and now here we are. Just have fun and give it a go!
Soulmate body swap au where Danny swaps with his soulmate (in my mind its damian or maybe cass but it could be anyone) while they’re in the middle of a fight.
Like, a big fight. Parademons, alien invasion, full arkham breakout kind of fight. All hands on deck, no backup, all in kind of fight.
And then comms just come on and Danny is there in a hero’s body like “hey, soo… is now a bad time to be soul switched?”
And every listening hero has this sudden stomach dropping horrified reaction, because oh my god, this is almost certainly a civilian, on the battlefield, where are they, who were they fighting last, they’re gonna die, oh no, who’s closest go save them NOW.
And then danny’s like “oh cool a sword i kinda know what to do with this.” (Canonically he has fought with a katana before)
Okay, hes got some training, just keep yourself safe we’re coming
And then ten minutes later Dany’s back on comms like “Great news guys! Some of my power is attached to my soul so I can use it even in this body! Fun.” (If its a hero who has been in contact with laz water he’s draining it to fuel his ectoblasts)
Another two minutes go by and now its just “oh, who’s a big eldritch soul-eating puppy dog? You are! Yes you are, good boy!”
The hero in danny’s body is having a full blown panic attack, trying to contact their team, trying to figure out where their soulmate is, if they’re okay, how to help them, and when they finally get eyes on the situation danny is just-
Charging into battle on Cujo’s back, weapon raised, manic glee and lazarus glow in his eyes and a war cry on his lips as he completely crushes anything in his way.
Sam: yeah thats what I thought he’d be doing
Tucker: he’s surprisingly adaptable
Dannys soulmate: 0///0
This, but Duke.
Danny had been in the middle of a very heated debate with Technus, in the middle of his living room, mind you, about the proper way to assemble a circuit board. The ghost was great with the internet and handling the online side of things, but actual engineering was lost on him, not that the older ghost seemed to realize or accept it.
Ever since Danny told his parents that he was Phantom, the ghost boy, they had made an effort to be more welcoming to ghosts as a whole. They had already been trying to redo some of their previous research before he told them, but they had made leaps and bounds after. They even remodeled the home defense system, making it so that it was only triggered on purpose through voice commands. It even worked over distances as long as someone had a device connected to the house.
His grades were getting back up, he wasn't having to tiptoe around his parents, and he was finally coming to an understanding with the ghosts in light of his upcoming coronation. Point is, life was good.
Then he soul swapped.
It's easy to say that Amity Park was out of the loop when it came to anything happening outside of the town. Ever since the portal opened, electronics haven't worked the same. Things like calls and social media still worked when inside the town, but there was some kind of natural shield that the ecto-radiation created that made it extremely difficult for things to reach past the town borders.
Back when the GIW was still a thing, this meant that calls for help, literal or over social media or in the news, went unnoticed and unattended to.
So, excuse Danny for being a little shellshocked by the apparent alien invasion happening a few states over, which the entire town was unaware of. The guilt hit like a sack of rocks to his chest. If they had known, if they had paid more attention to news outside of Amity, they could have been able to help against the initial wave of invaders. As of the moment, his first priority was getting backup from the rest of Team Phantom here.
"Signal, Report!" Welp... Danny had heard rumors about a bat guy in Jersey running around the worst city in the world, mostly from the other ghosts, but he didn't fully connect that with reality. Watching a full-grown man run around in tight spandex while laying out enemy after enemy was actually kinda cool, though. He took a moment to take stock of his/his soulmate's body and gawk at his/his soulmate's own bat-themed suit before tentatively hitting the comm to reply with the only question that made sense at the moment.
"Uhhh...Is now a bad time to be soul-swapped?"
*
This battle had been difficult from the very beginning, largely because they had little time to prep for it before the invasion began. That meant evacuation had to happen alongside the actual battle, which was always messy.
This situation was, without a doubt, an all-hands-on-deck. They should really just be glad they targeted a few very close-together cities instead of spreading out their forces, since that would have made this battle even more difficult if the Justice League and their associates had been spread thin. The battle was bad enough that the rogues and villains were helping out. So when Signal suddenly went very still and quiet, Bruce had gotten concerned immediately.
He was trying to rein in his paranoia surrounding his kids lately in therapy, so he waited a bit for an update, or a call for backup, or something! But only silence. So, he prompted.
And 'Signal's' response suddenly made everything worse, especially since most of the other leaguers had heard it.
"Wow!" Harley Quinn was grinning despite the blood slowly trickling from her mouth after a kick to the face from a parademon got her straight in the jaw. She leaned on her hammer behind the scant bit of cover Batman and Robin were currently using. "Talk about timing!"
When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...
call that the Ship of Thesaurus
Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."
A lecturer at Middlesex University in 2014, Chris Sadler, coined the term "Rogetism" for these. Perhaps the best:
Source.
I'm trying to hide my plagiarism but the clapping of my sinister buttocks keeps alerting the lecturer
"ohhh wahhh the problem with building out america's rail network is that nobody wants to live next to train tracks-" I DO BITCH!!!!!!!! #I<3INDUSTRIALNOISES #SEXWITHATRAIN
ask me about the difference between leopard/cheetah/jaguar print, it’s my field of expertise
What is the difference? Please learn me a thing
cheetahs got dots! little dot dots i want to bop
leopards got filling. it’s cheetah 2.0. Cheetah on meth. look at that leopard shit.
then there’s jaguar. Jaguar is madness. it took leopard print & decided wait. what if–MAW DOTS. it’s just leopard print with dots in the middle, it’s chaos
look at this bullshit
i’m angry just looking at it
so in ascending order: Cheetah < Leopard < Jaguar
C.L.J. someone come up with weird mnemonic for that, i’ve done enough work for you greedy bastards
Cats love jazz
there it is
Cats. Love. Jazz.
https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw
ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.
The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.
"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.
Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.
Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.
We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."
I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.
dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?
actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce
the dancing scene in Tangled always gets to me because like... the king and queen are grieving, this is the hardest day for them, they don't take part in the celebration other than lighting the first lantern. but she's right there she's in the town the person you miss she's in the town she's painting the streets she's singing she's playing with the children. the person you're grieving is here and she's alive and she's dancing outside your window
@cass-the-knight your tags are too good
I am going to clarify that when I say "if your romantic pair would have no appeal as a platonic duo, they're going to fall flat", I'm not necessarily saying they needed to have a pre-existing friendship within the narrative. I'm saying that if you can't pitch the dynamic to me without referring to the fact that they think the other one is hot, they don't have a dynamic, they're just attracted.
this is where a lot of (specifically but not exclusively) het romance falls flat for me, because SO MUCH OF IT IS JUST "oh two hot people with conveniently concave-to-convex genitals exist together in frame, OBVIOUSLY they're going to want to fuck and get married".
It's treated like... an emergent property of physics.