must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason
Monterey Bay Aquarium
ojovivo

Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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almost home

Product Placement
todays bird
hello vonnie
DEAR READER
h
🪼
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom
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@subatomicparticle11
must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason
god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you
ohhh fuck yeah, you understand
i love how weird kids are. they make up the most bizarre stuff when left to their own devices and it's never what an adult would naively predict a kid would do in their imaginative play
my friend's 5 year old recently got a toy veterinary medicine set - it's super cool, like one of those mini play kitchens a lot of kids have, but it's set up to pretend to be a vet (it's this thing) - it has stuffed animals and things to weigh them, give them medicine, take x-rays, write on their charts, etc.
so this kid, who is five and to my knowledge has no experience in the administrative bureaucracy of modern healthcare, puts a stuffed pig named Piggy on the exam table. she pretends to draw blood from Piggy using a fake syringe, and the blood goes into a toy test tube vial that she calls "the resulter"
i'm playing with her, right, so i'm like, awesome, what are the results of Piggy's blood test? and she says "we have to send it to the scientists." so we send the vial to the scientists (put it in her bedroom) and when we get back to the vet playset i'm like awesome what did the scientists say? and she says they have not gotten back to us yet
so she rolls her eyes, exasperated, and says we have to call the scientists. she pretends to call them. apparently, they tell her that Piggy's blood test is "at the bottom of the list" and "we have to WAIT." she frowns. we wait a bit longer and call them back. they tell us it will be a while! she says we should go ask the scientists in person so we go back to her bedroom and she inquires at this imaginary lab, at which point the scientists yell at her and tell her now they will make us wait even longer!
keep in mind she is 100% directing this play. she is making all this up. she is fully in control of this game, and she has decided that what we are going to pretend is that we are dealing with this exhausting nonsense, not actually treating Piggy.
finally the blood tests come back. they are inconclusive. the scientists do not know what is wrong with Piggy. the little girl walks back to the stuffed pig on the exam table, sighs deeply, and says in a very serious voice "we can never help you."
i'm obsessed with this kid. when given complete control over a make believe scenario, instead of becoming the heroic rescuer administering effective cures, she is instead a beleaguered vet making multiple calls to an overworked lab only to be left unable to help her patient.
10/10 no notes. kids are amazing
I used to watch a toddler and this one time she decided that my arm stretched across a doorway was a magic portal to other lands. My arm was a boom gate type of thing that had to raise up to let her go through the portal. I was like, cool, we're gonna go on adventures in some imaginary world full of stuff she likes.
Nope, she spent an hour troubleshooting and repairing the gate, which was broken in multiple ways. We never activated it.
r/scrungycats is fucking amazing
This one is my favourite. It’s subtle. It’s contemplative. This cat has so much to consider
today's gregor samsa is: getting misted in the produce aisle
requested by: anonymous
I love this because like 99% of this kind of paleoart is patriarchal Man the Hunter type fantasies but these guys are just like “fuck it we’re outta here”
we have not changed.
The Flight Before The Mammoth. Paul Jamin. 1885
Behind The Scenes Of National Geographic. Teodor Vladimorov, Brandon Smith. 2011. read more
i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"
while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"
well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question
third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"
i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."
and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3
@luckyybones hope you don't mind me screenshotting but you are actually so correct
ill spend my twenties investigating the healing properties of salt i dont know about you guys
excuse me
Sorry op. That's my friend the Salt Vampire from the Star Trek episode "The Man Trap" which first aired in 1966. Blessings be upon you.
its just i dont feel blessed by its presence is all. sending love your way
Thats the context for this meme???
I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.
I'm dying
I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual
It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders.
“I cast Iron Gate!”
As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids
i made up Star Trek to trick you guys
so now I'm gay for nothing?
now youre gay for nothing.
What Europe Would Look Like If Sea Levels Decreased By 1000 Meters
something tells me Russia would not agree to this division of the artctic
Worldbuilding question: What kind of a situation would it require for Norway to be able to first claim and then keep the entirety of this new landmass?
shwoing of her grub
#hergrub
it’s funny bc I think I have a lot to learn, with blindspots that I’m still trying to fill in by reading more and talking to people etc, but when I’m hanging around certain family members I suddenly become The Wokest Person Alive just by merit of having made some attempt to not be shitty. and this isn’t level 3 discourse like “conflating submissiveness with a preference for bottoming is misogynistic”, it’s basic shit like “no, health is not a state of mind, and sick people are sick for reasons beyond bad attitude,” and “no, you should not loudly talk about how shocked you were that a Nigerian man was at grandma’s funeral,” and “please don’t say that about Jewish people,” and so on.
and usually they are willing to listen when I talk about this stuff, so there is a benefit to me being there, but holy crap is it a tonal shift going from online to real life.
shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply
"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post
"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior
"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares
"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.
"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all
".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity
this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.
anyway more addittions
“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.
“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.
“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum
“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh
“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird
“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.
“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.
“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.
“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl