squeeee

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

iamcon-fu-sion

pick a side

team gaud

team pigeon

Voting ended onJun 1

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

you people are. unkind to me

d4lifesworld

You... voted for the pigeon, too?

i know when i'm outmatched

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

iamcon-fu-sion

pick a side

team gaud

team pigeon

Voting ended onJun 1

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

you people are. unkind to me

d4lifesworld

You... voted for the pigeon, too?

inexplicably-gaining-followers

i know when i'm outmatched

cheeseanonioncrisps

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

cheeseanonioncrisps

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

cidham

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

cherepashkadrabbles

This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:

He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.

orcarriagesthatwork

I think about this cake every day

tizzymcwizzy

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

microsuedemouse

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

helenarth

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

itseasytoremember

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

sashayed

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

boomstab-papa

your-cosmic-creature

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

grymmoires

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

snoozle-scraps

I love you

Step one: use hall bathroom instead of master bathroom, notice that Builder Beige switchplate is horrid with lovely new purple walls. Take it down and wash it thoroughly.

Step two: dig out stash of old seed catalogues saved for this purpose. Get super crabby because you can't find the Mod Podge anywhere. Give up, then have daughter find it immediately, in the "glue box" you forgot you created.

Step three: decide on a color scheme, and start cutting. I asked @phantomtheraccoon if we should coordinate or contrast and she cleverly said both.

Step four: collect your flowers and fiddle with layout.

Step five: paint item with Mod Podge, place your images, and paint them again. Leave to dry, which honestly doesn't take long.

Step six: trim edges add cut out holes. I didn't actually cut out the screw holes; I just cut little X's there for the screws to go through. Worked fine to put it up, we'll see someday how it survives taking it apart again.

Step seven: coat everything with Mod Podge at least one more time, paying special attention to edges. Dry elevated on something (say, the top of the Mod Podge bottle) so it doesn't stick down.

Step eight: okay, wow, that's awesomer than expected!

*jazz hands*

dangerously-human

Ooh, yes, I should decorate my light switch plates here, even if I can't bring myself to do all the painting. I used to have a Lumos/Nox one I made very hastily when I was first renting and it made me happy every time I used it. Light switch plates are such an easy, cheap way to decorate when your space is temporary (they're like a dollar at home improvement stores and very simple to replace with the original when you move out), highly recommend this kind of craft.

Yes to this addition. They're so cheap! Just do something, and then you will enjoy it every time you use it! Do something crappy! You can redo it later. This is such a low-risk/high reward project.

Reblogging because I still enjoy this switchplate every time.

dangerphd

plates: painted green, decoupaged with paper jungle/diluted white glue, waiting for blossoms and sealing.

dangerphd

🎶whiiiiiiiite gluuuuuuuuue aaaaaand waaaaaaateeerrrrr and aaaaaaaaaastrobrights!🎵

inspired to just do the thing by @rederiswrites , in context with wall art by @yuumei-art

Oh it's wonderful!

evil-is-relative

They had us do this in Girl Scouts! It's such a wonderful activity for kids too, and a great way to have them contribute to the house. My mother still has my sister and mine up and in use.

bluerats

Not gonna lie, I'm a little annoyed that despite the vast amount of project hail Mary spoilers I saw on tumblr in the last few weeks (and yes I know that not blocking the tag was my own fault) I did not see a single post about the huge flashing light scene in the middle of the film. Hell, it was set right in the middle of a very important plot scene. But the flashes were so bright and so intense that I had to close my eyes and cover them with my hands for I think nearly two minutes. And I'm not even epileptic! I just get migraines. Thankfully I went to see it with a friend who could tell me what was happening in the scene.

So, I'm going to warn people who may not have seen the movie yet. When the ship is pulling away from the green planet, the music will calm down, then a bang will be heard. That's when the flashing lights start. They'll pretty pretty much keep going until there's a scene change and the audio cuts out. That's when you can open your eyes.

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

lilyyy63

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however...

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

clumsysprings

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don't know if it'd be spaghetti still

Something like this?

But in a little over 4 months it's gonna be m