Communication is key
Honestly, I’m thinking I might write a zine, because since I entered into leftist spaces and made a real effort to learn about communities and people, I’ve learned exactly one thing. If I really break down and reflect on all the social issues I’ve ever encountered in my friend groups, past and present, are symptoms of a breakdown of the same root component: communication.
The common issues that plague any friend group seem multifarious: lying, cliques, manipulation, lack of transparency, lack of accountability, bad faith arguments, mistrust, callouts, abuse (of others or of power), ghosting, creation of pariahs, defacto leadership, organic hierarchy, etc., are all issues of communication. Either information is inaccurate, omitted or lost in translation, information is heard and disregarded, parties are not able or willing to listen and understand each others’ information, or information is manipulated not for the good of the group but for individual benefit. What is the formation of cliques, leaders or pariahs but the manipulation (willful or organic) of information to create gaps in knowledge and therefore to create hierarchies? What is interpersonal abuse, assault, or any other form of harm but the miscommunication or mismatching (willful or unknowing) of boundaries and consequently a lack of trust?
What is a lack of accountability but a failure (inability or refusal) to understand or acknowledge the information someone else gives you about yourself or a situation, and use it in a way that benefits not just you, but the whole?
The more time I spend in these social spaces the more important I think it is to explicitly and implicitly stamp out these forms of toxic communication by both leading by example--being open and honest about your thoughts and needs, being willing to listen and incorporated others’ information while also trusting they will do the same--and by teaching your group and your community about these issues so that we might all be more open, honest and accountable. We cannot begin to engage with these issues if we do not even understand them.
