TW: Mentions of gore,failed family and lots of angst
IN WHICH: Telamon (Shedletsky) fails to protect his own child
Shedletsky x Child reader (platonic only)
Mentions of BrightEyes and 1x1x1x1 too!
Second part here
ᯓ✦
You were abandoned
And then found by BrightEyes
Or as you soon called her
Your mother
Your father was Telamon
A rather important and high ranking member of Roblox
He was known for his cold behavior towards anyone who wasn’t his wife
Not caring for exploiters or hackers as he would whip his ban hammer out and struck them down with one swing
And yet when he saw you
His heart melted and reformed
As you became older with your mother going missing your father had abandoned his position of a once high and glory position most would dream of to take care of you
He went by Shedletsky now
Yet as the days went by and no matter how much time he spent with you and his endless attempts to find his wife he couldn’t ignore it
His hatred
It was growing
It was too much
It was corrupting him
So he made a living manifestation of it
It was only supposed to be a mountain of code that expressed his hatred so he could keep on moving
So he could keep on playing pretend swords with you
Yet that code reformed
Into a child
In a way you could say 1x1x1x1 was your younger sibling
When you found him in a locked away cage in the middle of your exploration of the forest behind your house in a cave
You soon swore to him that you would take down whatever meanie trapped him there
You would visit him every day that you could when your father was too wrapped up in finding your mother to notice you slipping away
You would sneak in snacks and sugary drinks
You would laugh with them
Until
Shedletsky had found him
You brought him to 1x4 thinking that your father could free your friend
But when 1x1x1x1 saw him
He hated him
Told you he was the person who trapped him
Then everything spiraled
He banned 1x1x1x1 to the banlands
All while you cried and begged for him not to
And then that night when he tucked you in for bed promising that 1x4 just went to sleep in the dreamlands
You knew better
ᯓ✦
Shedletsky had cried himself to death basically
Not only was his wife missing but so was his child
And soon he went back to a shoulder to cry on
His best friend
Builderman
He drowned himself in missions
Returning to not his former position but as a weaker position alongside his friend
He thought it could drown his emotions yet on one mission…
He disappeared
ᯓ✦
A laugh echoed throughout Planet Voss as Shedletsky tried to run away clutching his bleeding wound that was being infected by corrupted code
And then…
That’s when he truly stopped for the first time in his life to think to himself and realize the emotions he kept down for so long as he looked up
Where did he go wrong?
You were there
Now grown up laughing as corrupted code had spread throughout
Your younger sibling standing behind laughing and drawing his sword
The Spectre had changed you
Warped your mind and memory to its liking
Made it so that Telamon and BrightEyes were just people of the past that you had forgotten
Made it so that Shedletsky was the only person you remembered before being forsakened
Made it so that Shedletsky had abandoned you alongside your younger sibling fighting to fend for yourself while you both suffered and eventually being banned by him
Wasn’t he supposed to be a father who cared for you?
Wasn’t he supposed to protect you?
To love you?
K I L L H I M
ᯓ✦
So as Shedletsky looked up he accepted his fate he knew he couldn’t escape this fate
Looks like you found him hiding!
Whatever it wasn’t like your creator ever bothered to play hide and seek with you and your younger sibling when you were younger
One day he would regain his position as Telamon
In order to escape
In order to uncorrupt your code as well as 1x1x1x1’s code
In order to find his wife again
In order to be happy again
In order to play house again
Where he would be the father, his wife would be the mother, you would be the older protective sibling and your younger sibling would constantly bicker with you
He would save you
HE WILL SAVE YOU
HE WILL PROTECT YOU
HE WILL LOVE AND PROTECT YOU JUST LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO
ᯓ✦
Some headcanons^^
໒꒱ Just how the Spectre warped your mind when you first forsaken into the hell I would imagine that like when the Spectre was bored and becoming dull with the rounds he would give you your memories back completely
໒꒱ It never fails to entertain the Spectre as you would immediately bundle yourself up and cry when you were chosen as the killer
໒꒱ And each time you would cry in your fathers chest scared about your corrupted code crying about how you missed your mother, crying about how everything hurts, crying about how you wanted to go back home, to play swords with him and afterwards he would buy fried chicken as you both play hide and seek and then he would tuck you into bed so you could repeat it all over again
໒꒱ It hurts him to see his child again that’s why he would always mess around and joke (while secretly using both med kits that he had on him and his friend chicken just so that he had more time to talk to you again)
໒꒱ But of course every time he would eventually slowly die because of your corrupted code or if he managed to live he would watch as you slipped away crying and begging for him not to leave as you were both separated again
໒꒱ It never failed to make him cry and cry wishing for you to be free
໒꒱ And every time it would hurt even more when in the next round you were back to your corrupted self forgetting all that had happened
໒꒱ Again and again
໒꒱ While you gained your memories you would talk to 1x1x1x1 again since he was the only person you knew in a cabin full of strangers that looked weird
໒꒱ 1x1x1x1 always remembered those moments with you, he could never forget, it’s why when you went back to your corrupted self it hurt his heart a little bit when the only thing you would talk about was defeating Shedletsky
໒꒱ Don’t get her wrong she likes to kill Shedletsky but it hurts when it would be the only thing you would talk to them about, any other time you weren’t planning together on how to destroy Shedletsky you would ignore him
໒꒱ Pretending he was just an ally you could use (Destroying all your feelings inside that wanted to play with 1x1x1x1 like you were a child again)
໒꒱ No what’s important right now is destroying Shedletsky
໒꒱ And then you and your sibling could play all you wanted while the world itself would collapse due to the corrupted code
໒꒱ Sometimes when 1x1x1x1 misses you badly he will play with C00LKidd just so that it could bring up good memories again
໒꒱ She always tries her best to get your attention and praise when your in your corrupted form
໒꒱ Ranging from making you very burnt food
Is something burning??? you asked as you coughed while Jason tried to waft away the burning smell outside while 1x1x1x1 struggled to put out the flames of the now very burnt eggs
He was banned from the kitchen after that
But it didn’t stop him from still trying to cook for you
໒꒱ To handmade gifts
I made you something!
1x1x1x1 exclaimed as they showed you a handmade ring made from twisted leaves he found outside the cabin
Oh thanks…
You said as you grabbed the ring and as soon as he was out of vision you would secretly place it inside a box filled of his gifts for you and hide it secretly under your bed
You had to be strong for him
You can’t be weak
໒꒱ When the killers first found out you were 1x1x1x1’s older sibling they were surprised and less surprised when you turned out to be like 1x1x1x1 who would act cold and distant to others
hi im so in love with your writing! I was wondering if I could request an angsty remus fic? maybe with an unrequited love theme where reader has a massive crush on him but he notices and rejects reader before they can even confess? its not that’s ok! mwah tyy <33
Unrequited Love
Remus Lupin x f!reader
Summary: It wasn’t just a crush. It was deeper, more desperate. Every day beside him was a mix of silent happiness and growing pain because, deep down, you knew he didn’t see you the same way. And yet, you clung to any shred of attention. A smile in the hallway or the sound of his name on your lips, which he always responded to with that infallible kindness. You knew you were drowning, but you couldn’t help it.
Warnings: angst
A/N: hi love, you are so kind, thank you so much for the sweet words. I hope I did something that meets your expectations - and gosh, maybe, just maybe I am a little devastated, it's two angsts in a row with my boy Remus (that said, of course I loved doing it)
Unrequited Love | part II
You couldn’t quite remember exactly when it all started, but at some point between shared classes and comfortable silences in the library, Remus Lupin started occupying every thought of yours. Maybe it was that afternoon, weeks ago, when he noticed you were struggling to understand the theory behind a complicated spell. He approached, gentle but not invading your space, and said: "Can I help? I think I have an easier way to explain this."
You accepted, of course, your face warm and words stuck in your throat. He sat beside you, his voice low and firm as he pointed to the lines of the book with a slender finger. Every time he explained something, he’d end it with a quick glance, as if he wanted to confirm you were following along. You were so captivated by the sound of his voice that the actual understanding of the spell came later, when you were alone.
That’s when you started noticing the details. The way he furrowed his brow when reading something particularly complicated, or how he smiled to the side, a subtle smile, but enough to light up your whole day. He was different. He didn’t draw attention like his friends, who were usually the center of any room, but there was something in the restrained gestures, the care in his words, that made him seem more... real.
You began seeking opportunities to be near him. Not that it was intentional at first, but you always seemed to end up at the table next to him in the library or choosing the same time to study in the empty classroom. He never seemed to mind. In fact, he always nodded or gave a polite "good afternoon" before returning to what he was doing.
There was that day, though, that stayed engraved in your mind with almost painful clarity. It was an ordinary afternoon, and you were in the library. You had mentioned, without thinking, that you loved chamomile tea because your mother used to say it had a "comforting taste." He chuckled softly, a sound that made your heart stumble in your chest. A few weeks later, while you were sitting in a class, he casually leaned in and murmured: "Did you know chamomile tea was used in Ancient Greece as medicine? Seems fitting, doesn’t it?"
Your head spun to him, surprised. He remembered. It was just a silly sentence you had said, but he remembered. The rest of the class passed in a blur as you replayed each word, each glance.
It wasn’t just a crush. It was deeper, more desperate. He seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but you wanted so much to be the one who could ease some of that. Every day beside him was a mix of silent happiness and growing pain because, deep down, you knew he didn’t see you the same way.
And yet, you clung to any shred of attention. A smile in the hallway, a "Are you okay?" after a tough test, or the sound of his name on your lips, which he always responded to with that infallible kindness.
You knew you were drowning, but you couldn’t help it.
The weeks dragged on like a dream, but a dream that never became reality. With every encounter with Remus, you felt like you were floating, but there was always an invisible weight pulling you back to the ground. He was kind, considerate, but never crossed the line. Every gesture, every word, was filled with a cordiality that you desperately wanted to interpret as something more, but you couldn’t ignore the voice in your head whispering, "He's just being polite. It doesn’t mean anything."
It was in this tension that an idea formed. A letter. If you couldn’t say everything you felt to him in words, maybe you could put it on paper. You had already rehearsed so many times, in your mind, the perfect phrases, the declarations that could, perhaps, make him see you differently. But every time you opened your mouth, the words died before they took shape.
That night, sitting on your bed with the curtains closed around you, you held a piece of parchment. The quill trembled in your hand as you stared at the blank page. Your heart was pounding, a mix of anticipation and fear. What could you write that would capture everything you felt? How could you translate in words the impact he had on you, the way he made the world seem lighter just by being in it?
After minutes that felt like hours, you began:
"Remus, I know this might seem strange or unexpected, but I need to say something that I’ve kept to myself for so long that I can’t keep it in anymore. Since I met you, something inside me has changed. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s something in your gestures, in the way you look at the world, that makes me want to be a part of it. You’re more than kind; you’re someone who makes everything seem... possible. I don’t know how to put it any other way, so I’ll be direct: I like you. More than as a friend. And I needed to tell you. Because holding this in is starting to hurt more than having the courage to say it."
You stopped, looking at the words you had just written. Your breath was heavy, and silent tears threatened to fall. It was a relief, in a way, to see it all there on paper. But the weight of what could happen next was almost unbearable.
For a moment, you considered handing him the letter. Not that night, of course, but maybe the next morning, or during the next class. The idea gave you a spark of hope, but also brought an overwhelming fear.
What if he didn’t feel the same?
That question echoed in your mind, over and over, as you carefully folded the letter and hid it in the pocket of your coat. Your hand stayed there, feeling the weight of the parchment like a bomb about to explode.
Remus knew. He had known for some time. There was no way he couldn’t notice.
There was something in the way you looked at him, a hesitant and hopeful gleam, that didn’t go unnoticed. He noticed the moments when you got closer than necessary, like when you sat beside him in the library even when there were empty tables. He noticed how you seemed to hold your breath whenever he leaned in to explain something, or how your words sometimes faltered, as if the weight of something unspoken was too much.
He wasn’t a fool. The subtleties of the heart, however, were a territory he preferred to avoid. Especially when he knew he couldn’t return the feelings.
You were smart, dedicated, kind in a way that made people want to be near you, and you were beautiful. He genuinely liked your company, but not in that way. Not the way you seemed to desire. Remus felt a tightness in his chest every time this reality pressed upon him, because he knew what needed to be done. He knew that the longer he let things drag on, the worse it would be for you.
That’s why, after Potions class that afternoon, he waited for you to finish gathering your things. He didn’t know exactly what he would say, but the words had been weighing on his throat for days.
“Do you have a minute?” His voice was calm, but there was something in his expression, the way he avoided eye contact for a second longer than usual, that made your heart stop.
“Of course.” Your response was automatic, but the nervousness crept into your voice. He was serious, more serious than you’d ever seen him before, and that sent a chill through your stomach.
As you walked beside him, the hallways seemed longer, quieter. You noticed he didn’t look directly at you, and that only made the nervousness grow.
He stopped next to an empty window, where the late afternoon light fell in soft angles. You held your books to your chest, as if they were armor, while he finally turned to face you.
“I... I think we need to talk.”
Your heart seemed to beat too fast, as if trying to prepare itself for whatever might come out of his mouth. You knew he wouldn’t say this lightly. “We need to talk” was never a casual introduction, it never preceded something good. Still, you tried to hold on to the faint hope, that quiet voice in the back of your mind whispering: Maybe he feels something too. Maybe he wants to say he noticed...
“I... I need to be honest with you,” Remus began, his voice low and serious, his words carefully chosen, but they still fell like stones upon you. “I don’t think it would be fair to let this continue without saying anything.”
Your fingers tightened around your books against your chest. Without saying what? Anxiety ran like fire through your veins, and you couldn’t look away from him, even though part of you wanted to run.
“I’ve noticed that...” He paused, biting his lower lip slightly, as if the words were hard to form. He ran a hand through his hair nervously, looking away for a brief moment before meeting your eyes again. “You’ve been... very kind to me, and I appreciate that. Truly. But I... I don’t want you to think that... there’s something here that isn’t.”
The world seemed to silence around you. Only his words echoed in your mind: “Something that isn’t.” It was as if he had ripped the ground out from under you with a single sentence.
“I don’t understand.” Your voice came out quieter than you expected, almost a whisper. You knew what he was trying to say, but at the same time, you refused to believe it. It couldn’t be this. It couldn’t end like this.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He took a step closer, his gaze filled with something that seemed like guilt. “But I think you feel something for me. Something more than friendship.”
You felt your face burn, your chest tightening as if being compressed by an impossible weight. He knew. All this time, he knew.
“I...” You tried to deny it, tried to find some word that could save you from the abyss opening up, but your voice failed.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted, his voice softer now, but somehow, that only made it hurt more. “I just... I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re amazing. You’re kind, you’re smart, and anyone would be lucky to have your attention.” He sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly, as if the weight of the situation affected him too. “But I’m not that person. I can’t... see you that way.”
It was as if he had pulled the air from your lungs. Every word felt like a blade, cutting slowly but deeply. You felt tears burning in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not in front of him.
“You’re saying that...” You stopped, swallowing hard, your throat too tight to continue.
“I don’t want you to have hopes where there’s no space for them,” he said softly, as if trying to minimize the impact, but the pain was already there, overwhelming and absolute.
You didn’t know what to say, how to respond. All you could feel was the crushing rejection, the weight of knowing he would never look at you the same way. It was worse than you had imagined, because he wasn’t being cruel. He was being honest, and his honesty hurt more than any cruelty ever could.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, almost in a whisper, and those words were the final stone that fell upon your heart already in ruins.
You nodded quickly, unable to trust your own voice, and took a step back. You wanted to say something, wanted to pretend you were fine, but there was nothing that could be said. So, you just turned and left, feeling his eyes on your back but not looking back.
The first tear fell before you even turned the corner.
Each step echoed like a drum in your ears, blending with the disordered sound of your thoughts. You pressed the books to your chest so tightly that your fingers began to ache, but it was better to focus on the physical pain than the agony that was boiling inside you.
The students around you laughed, talked, ran. The castle was alive, pulsing with the energy of carefree teenagers, but everything felt muffled, distant, as if you were walking through a bad dream.
You turned down a random hallway, not even knowing where you were going, just needing to get away from everything and everyone. Your heart pounded in your chest, and the knot in your throat seemed to tighten with every passing moment, as if it were impossible to swallow the weight that kept building there.
Finally, you found an empty corner, behind a worn tapestry that no one seemed to notice. It was a temporary hiding spot, but it was all you needed. You threw yourself against the cold wall, sliding to the floor, the books falling from your hands as the tears you had held back for so long finally overflowed.
They came hot and relentless, streaming down your face mercilessly. You tried to stifle the sobs, biting your fist, but it was useless. The pain felt like its own entity, growing and spreading inside you.
Your chest ached, a physical sensation of emptiness and tightness that almost made you gasp for air. Your hands trembled, gripping your knees as if they were your only anchor. He knew. Those words echoed repeatedly in your mind. He had known all along.
Worse yet, not only did he know, but he had decided to tell you in such a careful, gentle way that the rejection became even more painful. He hadn't looked down on you, hadn't mocked you, but that only made it crueler. He had looked directly at you and said, without hesitation, that there was no space for you in his heart.
You closed your eyes, trying to breathe deeply, but all you could see was his face. The calm expression, the soft tone. The contrast between his kindness and the brutality of what he was saying was unbearable.
What had you done wrong? The question burned like fire, consuming everything around you. You replayed every interaction, every glance, every word spoken. There was no way to erase the moments when your heart raced for something he said or did. There was no way to turn back time and rip the feelings from yourself that you knew he would never return.
In the distance, you could hear other students passing by, carefree voices, laughter filling the hallways. Life continued as if nothing had happened, as if your world hadn't ended in that moment. The contrast was suffocating, a reminder that your pain was yours alone.
You hugged your knees, trying to diminish the feeling of falling apart. All you wanted was to disappear, to become invisible. Maybe, if no one saw you, no one would know how broken you were.
Time seemed to drag on, but it also slipped through your fingers like sand. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed since that conversation. Days? Weeks? Every unavoidable encounter with him felt like tearing the scab off a wound that hadn't even started to heal.
Classes became a kind of silent torture. He was always there, just a few meters away, and you could feel his presence like an electric current pulsing in the air. Sometimes, your eyes would meet for a brief moment, and he’d smile hesitantly, almost as if he were trying to offer some form of comfort.
But there was no comfort to be found.
You started changing seats in classes, picking places farther away. You walked through the hallways with your eyes on the floor, avoiding any chance of crossing paths with him. When he was with James or Sirius, laughing and talking loudly, you found some excuse to leave. Seeing that smile, hearing that laugh, felt like a cruel reminder that his life was going on without interruption while yours was in ruins.
You knew he noticed. Remus Lupin was perceptive, perhaps more than anyone you knew. And that’s why, on an ordinary afternoon, he came over.
The hallway was empty, and you were organizing the books in your bag with slightly trembling hands. When his shadow fell over you, your stomach tightened instinctively.
“Hey,” he began, his voice low and cautious, as if he were walking on glass. “Can I talk to you?”
You didn’t want to. You wanted to turn and run, wanted to scream for him to leave you alone. But instead, you just nodded, because running now seemed useless.
He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I... noticed you’ve been avoiding me.” He ran a hand through his hair, a habit you knew all too well. “I don’t want things to be like this between us.”
The bitter laugh almost escaped your lips, but you swallowed it. “Like what?” Your voice came out harsher than you intended, but your heart was pounding so hard that it was hard to control.
“Distant.” He took a step closer, but stopped when he saw you recoil, even if it was just a little. “I... hope we’re still friends.”
The word pierced like a sharp blade. Friends. Of course. That was what he wanted from you. What he always wanted. And hearing it, said so gently and sincerely, made it hurt even more.
You wrapped your arms around your body as if that could contain the emptiness spreading inside you. “Friends,” you repeated, testing the word on your lips. It felt strange, bitter, as if it didn’t belong there.
“Yes.” He gave a small, hopeful smile. “I really... I’m so sorry, you know? For everything. I never meant for you to feel like this.”
“I know.” Your response was barely audible. You knew he didn’t want to hurt you. That made it all worse.
There was an uncomfortable silence between you. He seemed to be waiting for something, maybe a confirmation that everything was okay. But you couldn’t give him that. Not now.
“I... I need to go,” you finally said, your voice trembling as you slung the bag over your shoulder.
“Of course,” he replied, a little hurriedly. “But... we’re okay, right? I just want you to know, if you need me, I’m here.”
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, trying to breathe, trying to stop the pain from overflowing once more. When you opened them, you forced a small smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “I’m fine, Remus. Thank you.”
Before he could respond, you turned and walked quickly, feeling the tears threatening to fall.
As you turned the corner, you leaned against the wall for a moment, your eyes burning and your breath heavy. He wasn’t cruel. He would never be. And maybe that was exactly what made it all so unbearable.
Night had fallen over Hogwarts, and the castle was immersed in a heavy silence. You were in the farthest corner of the common room, where no one seemed to notice your presence. The only company was the fireplace, its flames flickering irregularly, casting shadows that danced across the walls.
In your hands, the letter you wrote weeks ago trembled slightly. The parchment was crumpled and worn at the edges, as if it had been handled countless times but never read by anyone other than you.
You remembered exactly the moment when you wrote it, the words flowing like a confession from your heart. It was everything you wanted to say to him. All the feelings that had been growing, gaining strength and life of their own. You had poured out every thought, every heartbeat, with the naive hope that he might feel the same.
But now, all that remained was a useless piece of paper.
You smoothed the parchment carefully, your fingers tracing the words written in your hesitant handwriting. Each sentence seemed to mock you now, like a cruel reminder of everything you felt and everything that would never be returned.
The flame of the fireplace seemed to call to you, its warmth offering a final solution to the weight you carried. With a trembling sigh, you stood up, feeling your heart tighten in your chest.
You hesitated for a moment, the letter still firmly held in your hands. Part of you wanted to keep it, hold onto it as a reminder of something that once mattered. But another part of you knew you needed to let go, even if it meant releasing something you never truly had.
"I could never be enough for you, could I?" you whispered to no one, your voice barely above a thread.
Finally, you brought the parchment closer to the flame, and it began to burn slowly. The edges darkened and curled, the fire consuming the words that once seemed so important. You watched each line disappear, one after another, until all that remained was ash and embers.
The pain in your chest was unbearable, but you stood there, motionless, watching as the last particles of the letter were carried away by the wind from the fire. It felt like watching the end of something that never had the chance to begin.
You sat on the floor, pulling your knees to your chest, the tears finally falling freely. They burned, hot and relentless, as you wondered how it was possible to feel so much for someone who would never look at you the same way.
Despite everything, you knew you still loved him. That was the cruelest part of all. Even after all the pain, all the rejection, you couldn’t simply turn off your feelings. He was still the one who made your heart race, who inhabited your dreams, who carried the weight of your hopes and fears.
know who you are at every age - edward cullen x reader
just an angsty one shot idea that i had. you can ignore this lolz
The clock ticked in your ears as your leg slightly bounced, the inside part of your shoe softly brushed against the bookbag that was resting between your feet.
You were called to the office. You were told to come to the office during your study hall period at the end of the day.
The principle finally let the student go who they were talking to, calling your name. You picked up your bag and walked past the person coming out of their office before you sit down and the principal shuts the door.
“Alright, Y/N. Figure out any colleges yet?”
You looked at your hands as you shake your head.
“No. I haven’t.”
“Why not? You have schools reaching out to me, sending me applications just for you fill out.”
“I already earn commissions. I just don’t think it’s necessary.”
“Well, you shouldn’t sell yourself so short. The new report period is coming up and Forks has a great AP Art and Design course that you should take to help motivate you. You’ve taken all of the art courses here at La Push, so you should really look into it.”
They slide you a paper that tells you all what they have to offer.
“How will I get there? I don’t have a car, that’s why I didn’t sign up to get an early out.”
They smile a bit with one finger up.
“They offered to give you a stipend to catch a car if you accept.”
You sigh a bit as you think.
You drew anyway in study hall so why not?
“Sure. I’ll do it.”
You walked the halls with the paper in your hand as your brain racked up what could happen.
A tall figure was bent over, drinking over the water fountain.
Walking past him, he smelled so good. His outfit was so crisp. He lifted his head as he wiped his mouth and you look down from his gaze that gave you violent butterflies.
Coming home, you reread the paper as music blasted in your ears.
You walked aimlessly through the Forks halls. People were laughing and talking with their friends, whizzing past you as you didn’t know where to even go.
It felt like you bumped into a hard wall. A pale hand that sported a dark watch, picked your opened sketchbook up and you never look up to see what they looked like.
“Sorry. Thanks.” you say in a rush after taking your book back and picked the pace up to continue walking.
You saw a teacher in the hall, walking with a stack of papers.
“Hi, excuse me. I’m looking for this room number.”
“It’s uh…Just follow me.” they say matter of factly and you walk with them until you’re led into the correct classroom.
As soon as the door opened and the art teacher paused their talking, students turned their head to look at you slowly walk in.
“Hi. You’re with me?”
You nod at the teacher’s question.
They catch your name and an instant look of recognition made you relax as they point you to a table for you to sit at.
“Or you have the option to sit here and work by yourself.”
You chose to work by yourself.
They continue to introduce themselves, introducing the course and all of the bases that would be covered.
As you wait for your ride outside, you sat on a bench with your head down as you used a colored pencil to shade in the picture that you were making in your sketchbook. Students were coming out of the school building, exclaiming how glad the day is over and the next plans to make.
You heard a voice. A voice that sounded so melodic. You would’ve thought you hallucinated it.
“Sorry about earlier.”
The apology made you look up. His eyes were smothering and it made you feel like you were floating. You look back down due to shyness.
“Oh, no it’s okay. That was on me.” you nervously smiled as you shook your head.
“Would you like one?”
You look back up, a small but wrapped lollipop was in his hand as he held another one in his other hand, you assumed that was for himself.
He extended it closer to you and you take the peace offering. Your fingers brushed against his fingers, they were cold but so was the weather. It wasn’t spring yet.
“Thanks.” you say. He nods.
A brunette comes out of the school doors and he quickly says, “See you.”
You look at his retreating figure as she gives him a warm smile and walks with him. A silver car is where they stopped and he looked over his shoulder at you. You look away, embarrassed that you were caught staring.
Your ride comes and you throw your book bag in the backseat before flopping down in the seat.
Leaning your head against the window, the fleeting trees and the sounds of the low engine purring made you decompress from the day.
You stare at the lollipop in your hand before slowly unwrapping the wrapper and sticking the treat into your mouth.
In your bedroom, you rushed through homework but take a pause.
You sat at your desk on a stool, sketching out something that you couldn’t get out of your head. It gnawed at your brain.
When you were finished, you sat your sketchbook up to take a good look at the picture. It was just eyes but the eyes that you couldn’t forget. They were piercing but yet, unique. You didn’t know if he had just really light brown eyes and the sun made them turn into a golden hue, but they were gracious.
“So, how was it?” Your principle asked the next morning as they seen you in the hallway by your locker.
“Yeah, it was great. I think I’m going to have a lot of fun in that class.” you smile and you were telling the truth.
They smile back and pat your shoulder while walking away, glad that you took advantage of such opportunity.
As you walk to your class, the tall figure that you’ve always seen around, stops in your walkway.
He holds up a white piece of paper.
“You do this?”
You stare at the assignment as you widened your eyes, you place a hand on your forehead.
“Shit! No.” you say. You rush away as you went to the bathroom. You sat in the stalls to rush through the answers. Drawing took so much of your time.
When you were finished, you stuffed it in your bag, pulling out your sketchbook. You flip it open and looked at the eyes. You don’t know what made you gravitate towards them. Why you couldn’t stop thinking about them.
“What’s the Forks kids like?” Your friend Kim asks as you both walked through the lunch line. You shrug.
“They’re okay, I guess. Forks have better courses.”
“Yeah. It’s not like the state is gonna fund the poor school on the rez.”
You walked the halls in Forks with more confidence, you could see the Forks posters and the upcoming clubs and activities that were hung on the walls.
Walking in, people were setting their bags down and you froze near the doorway. At your table, you see that you weren’t going to be alone anymore.
“Hi, Y/N.” the teacher greets you with a smile.
“Hey.” you quietly say as you slowly walk towards your table. Your teacher gives the student a warm smile as touched his arm as they continued to walk towards her desk.
You sit down. You both don’t say anything but he looks at you, which makes you look down at the table.
“Okay. So today, I really want you guys to dig deep and really tell me who you are or who you think you are, by drawing something. Each table will have each day to show me and tell me the story of what they’ve come up with.”
A week was the deadline. You all walk up to get a large but thick poster paper.
The teacher walked around each table, checking in on students. You let the background noise of the teacher and students talking not take your focus away.
The voice speaks. The melodic voice.
“You only come at the end of the day?”
You look up and those same eyes were staring at you, furrowed a bit.
“Y-yeah.” you answer. You look back down and move your ruler as you sketch.
“I was wondering because I don’t see you in the mornings. Just around this time.”
“Oh. Yeah. My school just don’t have a course like this so I take it here.” you replied.
“What school?”
“La Push High.”
“That’s where you live? La Push?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
The teacher placed a hand on your sweater covered shoulder which made you look up. You match their friendly smile.
“You don’t mind Edward here, being apart of your table?” They ask.
So, that’s his name.
“No, I don’t mind.” you say with a soft but shy chuckle.
“Have an idea of how you are going to do your project?” They ask you.
“Just, play around with the idea of age.” you say with unsureness.
They looked impressed, “I won’t ask too much, I’m curious about what you’re going to do…What about you, Edward?”
“Music.” he says dismissively. You could actually feel his gaze at you.
“Sounds great.” they replied and walked off at a student calling for help.
“Why age?” he asks as you two were back to working alone. It was as if he was investigating something.
You shrug, “It just came to me.”
Peaking up at his face, you didn’t expect the keen look.
“Why music?”
“I compose it.”
You give him a warm smile. His eyes softened.
“How? You sing?”
“I play piano.” He admits.
“Oh. Is that what you’re going to do after high school?”
“Maybe.”
“Why maybe? Is it not something you would do as a career?”
He’s quiet for a moment and that gives you the opportunity to look back down at your paper.
“It will take away my enjoyment for it if I’m stuck having to do it, I guess.”
“I hear that.” you say quietly. Your body was so tense from this conversation alone and you had no idea why.
“Is that what you’re doing after high school? Art?”
“Yes.”
“What college are you going to?”
You smile a bit before looking at him.
“None University.”
He cracked a smile. It almost knocked you out of your chair as your heart thudded in your chest.
You look down.
“Why? I’ve seen what you had in your sketchbook.”
“It’s just…I think it’s pointless for my part. I think a school can’t teach someone how to make art. Art is just…The vulnerability of someone that they choose to showcase. You can’t teach that in my opinion. It takes experiences to actually understand the art of art.”
“Will I get a tour of your sketchbook?”
“Will I hear you play a tune on the piano?” you ask with your heart thudding in your ears.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Then, yeah.” you agree.
You rise up as you all had to leave the posters in designated places in the classroom now that class was over.
Walking towards the exit doors, you didn’t expect him to walk so close. You swallow hard as you try to put one foot in front of the other.
“I have a question.” you ask.
“I might have an answer.”
“Excuse me if I’m being rude but, are those your real eyes?”
A hiccup in his step made you look over as he looked down.
“Yes.”
“Is it like…A condition?”
“Yes….Heterochromia iridium.”
You give him a gentle smile as he looked back up.
“That’s really cool.” you offer softly. He blinked in subtle surprise.
“Would you like to hear me play today?
“Uh…” you say as you look at the exit doors that people were almost running towards, “I have a ride coming. But, soon.”
He nods.
You turn and continue walking.
On the ride home, the picture of the eyes that you drew stared back at you.
The next day at school was a blur. You’ve seen the same tall figure that gave you butterflies, but you couldn’t find that same spark when you looked into his eyes. The golden ones choked you and you found yourself anticipating into meeting them again.
You close the car door and climb up the school stairs, surrounding area silent as the last minutes of a class keeping students from roaming the halls. You push open the school door and didn’t expect golden eyes to be waiting for you.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” you say with a friendly tone.
You both slowly walked to the shared class.
“Do you have time today?”
“Time for what?” you ask.
“To hear me play.”
“Oh..Um..Sure.”
“Okay.”
Students flooded the halls as you both walked past them.
The soft sounds of sketching circles between you two as you put down new ideas onto your poster paper.
“What’s it like in La Push High?”
You think for a moment, “Your typical high school I guess. You have your try hards, you have people who just knock out the work to graduate, and you have the people who you may not see in the next week.”
“It’s like that here, I suppose.”
You push open the school doors and he stops at the bench where he first talked to you.
“Just wait here. Okay?”
You nod. You sit down and lounge on the bench. Time ticked by and students walked past, catching up with their friends.
The brunette eventually walked past with her head down, you watch her walk to her red pick up truck. You knew that she knew Edward from seeing her walk with him that one day. You figured it was a friend of hers since you’ve never seen them kiss or hold hands. Just hanging out.
As the red pickup truck slammed shut and roared to life, you look over to see four figures staring at you near their cars. They were across the parking lot.
You could tell that they were siblings of Edward. They had the same pale skin tone, the same golden hue to their eyes.
The pickup truck rolled out of the lot as soon as you heard a gentle, “You ready?”
Sitting in the silver car, he seemed too cautious of his driving. Almost as if he was driving slow on purpose.
“Do you have siblings?” you ask him.
“Yes. And yes, that’s who were staring at you.”
You lightly chuckle, “You guys must be the popular kids.”
“I guess.” he chuckled softly.
The home was empty as you both walked in, you heard nothing but footsteps. For some reason, yours was louder than his.
He sits down with grace. You eyed the bench, you noticed the lack of space, you two would be sitting vey close. You cross your arms as you idly watch him lift the wooden cover to expose the piano keys.
He looked over and up with a gentle smile, “Have a seat.”
Your breath quietly hitched as you slowly unfold your arms and slowly sit down.
Shoulders brushed against each others and his hands then set onto the white tiles. You look down as he played with such grace. He was better than classical composers that you’ve heard.
You paid attention to the flow of the melody. It felt like it was speaking to your soul. It weaved itself throughout your body as it sounded like something that you wanted to consume. It made you light, happy, most of all, you pictured yourself creating with this song.
You both warmly smile at each other with synchronization when the song was finished.
“That was really good. Who is it from originally?”
“I made it up.” he says with a chuckle.
“What?” you turn in your seat, face to face, “You made that up?”
“I did.”
“Well, do you have a digital copy of it so I can download it? That sounds amazing.”
“I don’t but..I can see what I can do.”
You nod.
“Now, I want to see your book.”
“Sure. Fine.” you say with a smile and stand up. He watched you with a turned head as you reached into your back bag and pulled out your sketchbook.
You sit back down next to him as he never made an effort to move. You watch as he slowly flipped from the beginning of the book. He took in every page as if it was his own handheld museum.
He hummed and quietly smiled at different pages. It felt good to know that he liked some, even though different people had already told you how talented you were. It just hit different coming from him.
You forgot that you had a certain drawing until he landed on it.
You open your mouth to say something as you felt cringe inside. He spoke first but he glanced at you. His smile was a touch of conceited.
“Is this supposed to be me?”
“Well, not you. Just your eyes.”
“It’s still me.”
“Give me that.” you say and take it out of his hands as he chortled.
“You did an accurate job.”
“Good. I couldn’t get them out of my head so I had to ask you how you’ve gotten your color.”
“So, you’ve thought about me..”
You chuckle as you humorously look at his smitten expression that made your heart stutter, “No, just your eyes. I was curious on how one could have that color until you told me.”
“You don't think its strange?"
"No..." you shake your head and soften your tone for reassurance, "Why would I think something that you cant control is strange?" you ask.
They were vivid in your head as you lie in bed trying to sleep.
You kept tossing and turning as you didn't know what to expect for the next day.
At lunch, you only ate a snack. Your stomach was in knots all day and you didn't know why. You couldn't tell if it was due to excitement or from nervousness.
You close the car door as you walked up the Forks building steps. You jump a bit as Edward walked forward.
"Hi."
"Hey."
You both sat closer in art. The conversation was more relaxed as he asked certain questions of what made you get into art. You happily answer them as students had their own conversation at different tables.
"Would you like to repeat what we did yesterday?" he asked carefully as if he was nervous but there wasn't any fidgeting.
"I didn't draw anything new."
"Thats okay."
You both enter the home. He played a whimsical song that you found out that he made at the top of his head. After giving you a glass of water, you ask the inevitable question.
"Where's the rest of your family?"
"Some have afterschool activities and my parents are working." he answered.
"Oh. Do you want to watch a movie?"
He nods.
He lets you pick.
You pick a movie.
You look to him as the characters played instruments in a band to power up.
"Would you ever join a band?"
He lifted his lip as he eyed the television, "I don't know...Would you?"
"I would be in charge of making the album covers."
The weekend came the next day and you took a bus on an early afternoon to the museum in Port Angeles. You slowly walk around as you blink at the large pictures.
A tap somewhat startled you as you were looking at the greek statues in front of you.
You turn around and a look of recognition spilled out between you and the person you were looking at.
You both walked through the museum, he listened to your thoughts of each painting you two stopped at. He made it seem like your opinion was the only thing that mattered.
"Do you want to come over?" you ask as you both walked outside.
"To your place in La Push?"
"Yeah."
"I can't."
"Oh." you look down.
"I can take you to an early dinner."
"Im not really hungry."
“Do you want to come over?”
“And do what?” you ask.
You both held hands and danced in his room. It was to crappy pop music but you didn't care. He didn't seem to care as he kept the momentum going. You wondered how he wasn't out of breath as you flopped on his couch.
You asked him earlier where his bed was once you’ve seen something missing. He told you his parents had to order him a new one and it didn’t come in yet.
He perked up as if he heard something that you couldn't hear. It wasn't until he turned the stereo off that he extended his hand. You take it.
Walking down the steps, you both walk down and heads turn as they watch you descend from the stairs. The entire family was home. It was as if they were shocked to see you there.
It took for the girl with the pixie cut to look down for you to realize that you were still holding hands with Edward. He tugged you out of the home too fast for you to speak a word to them and for them to speak a word to you.
He drove you to a near library in Forks where you both talked until your ride came. You rise from your seat and he tugged your hand.
He pulled you into a graceful hug. You'll never forget the smell of his shirt. The smell was sweet like baked treat. It smelled like your childhood in a way, very nostalgic. It was like if you closed your eyes, happy memories would flood through your brain.
You stood in front of the classroom as you explain how you knew who you were at every age. You loved art at every age. You encouraged the viewer of your piece to know who they are at every age. You mostly talked to the golden eyes that stared at you in support. He drunk in every word.
You smiled a bit at Edward’s well constructed but captivating piano piece. It was simple but yet made you love the small details from within. Your favorite part about it was that it seemed simple at first glance but looking closer and longer, you noticed the things that people might miss.
You both got an A.
Friends. It’s what you silently referred to each other. The conversations were lighthearted now and filled with poking at each other.
You both worked on your Ap Art portfolios as you both were working on the floor of the living room. You shared your art materials with him.
“Is La Push having a dance?” he asked.
“Yeah but I’m not going.” you snort as you tilt your head at how everything was coming along.
“Why not?”
“Kind of don’t want to get dressed up for a cafeteria party.”
He laughs. You laugh. You both laugh together, it sound harmonious like a duet.
“Come to ours.”
“I don’t know anybody in Forks. I would just be wall hugging.”
“You know me.” he points out.
“I do…”
“So, go with me.”
Time was ticking as you sat outside of the boutique hotel. You watched as people took pictures together, meet up with their friends before walking in with their dates.
A slight touch of doubt kissed you as the thought of him standing you up was running through your mind.
He finally came. You smiled at each other. He pulled you up from where you were sitting and pulled you into a tight hug.
“You look good.” you compliment.
“Not when you look like this.” he smiled.
A flower was snug on his suit and he pulled out a corsage that matched the flower on his suit. His hands were gentle as he tied it around your wrist before taking your hand and tugged you in.
You both held hands while you two laughed and danced to the upbeat music, students jumped around and belted out the lyrics.
Eventually, you both were outside, under the gazebo.
You both swayed peacefully as you both never took your eyes off of each other. It felt like a tale you could tell in the future. It felt like you two were the only beings on Earth.
He spun you around with one hand on your feet, gently as you shyly grinned.
He pulled and held you close as if you were going to float away. He leaned in and pressed a brief but sweet kiss on near your mouth. Your eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment before you looked back at him.
You reach to place hand on his cheek.
It felt like a statue. A cool sculpted statue. You both were very close, he leaned close again as lips were centimeter apart.
"Stay still. Please?"
Your heart was in your throat as you just clutch to his pressed suit. He takes in a soft inhale before his lips gently press upon yours. At the same time, you both relax into the kiss. It was intense. It was your first kiss.
You pull back and the look of his face showed that he wasn't ready to let up.
“Edward.”
“Yes?”
“I want us to continue to be friends.” you whispered.
“I want us to be friends too…” he says but his spirit fell a bit.
“It’s not that I don’t enjoy you. It’s just that you’re a grade below me.”
He cracked a soft smile, “That shouldn’t matter.”
It was quiet for a moment before you took your eyes off his suit covered chest to raise them to his warm liquid gold gaze. A soft smile graced your lips that he quickly reciprocated.
“You are pretty mature for your age, I guess…But, I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” you gently say.
“I’ll be your first.”
Your heart lurched with joy at the sound of that.
You overplayed the night as you sketched out your feelings. They overtook you.
The next day, you both hung up after making plans to see each other and spend the day together the day before school.
You were in the tribal library and the elderly man behind the counter watched you. It was as if he was being protective. A book caught your attention.
You purchase it and he gave you a look that you couldn’t recognize as he took your money.
Reading it at home, your mind was taking in what at first you deemed as just a silly horror tale, until the topics ran deep. Intertwining with the lands of La Push.
The time skid by.
Flipping through the pages as you skimmed through the passages and words, your heart pounded as you blinked your tired eyes.
The horrific pictures scared you. The detailed passages scared you. The clues that went over your head scared you.
Cold skin, discolored eyes that pierced through your soul, inhumane grace, no sleep.
You heavily breathed as you noticed that it was time for you to meet with Edward. You slowly dressed into clothes before deciding not to go. Slipping your sleeping clothes back on, you lock the window, even locking your bedroom door.
It felt like something was still going to burst through and kill you. You didn’t feel at ease.
The phone number seemed forbidden. It called while you ignored it. Each vibration was like a tempting knock for you to answer.
You’ve never considered yourself religious.
But, you were front row at a church on a Sunday.
After, you spoke your sins into the darkness, asking for forgiveness.
“In the night, I danced with the devil. I kissed the devil….And I crave to kiss him again. I crave to be in his presence again. Please forgive me.”
You stared at him after you got out of your ride to Forks High School. He stared at you. You couldn’t speak as your mouth wouldn’t let you. You couldn’t move as your feet was stuck to the ground. Your heart thudded and all you could think about was the fact that it was a possibility that he could hear the blood that pumped out of it.
Soon, the parking lot was empty.
He turned around and walked into the forest near the school building, telling you to follow him without saying words. You follow him but you pick up a handheld sharp rock and you stick it in your jacket.
Standing still in the wet and mossy forest, you both listened to the soft sounds of the wind. He finally speaks.
"You figured it out?"
You tried your best to stifle your sob, but you couldn't. He reaches towards you but you step back. You crumble your face as you let more tears fall. It hurt to look at him, it hurt to look at him and see no evidence of a monster.
"Im sorry…I didn't ask to become this. I just adapted after Carlisle changed me."
"I....I...I'm not blaming you....I should hate you." you choke out.
"If you do, I wont hold it against you. It's what you should do." he says but he sounded pained to even say that.
"The problem is that I can’t no matter how hard I try…I won't tell anyone..."
"I know you won't. You have a beautiful soul."
You hated how pleasant that compliment made you feel, how it made you feel on top of the world. You hated how weak he made you feel.
"Just...How...How many people have you k-killed?" you whispered.
"I've killed plenty," he spoke honestly, "But, I've changed. I've changed what I consume. I consume animals instead of humans. It's why me and my family have this eye color."
You wipe your face with your hand, your eyes were puffy.
"I get why you lied." you whispered at last when the hiccups stopped.
"Despite all of this, I don't want you to stay away."
"My blood probably entice you too much." you whispered. He shakes his head, immediately dismissing your claim.
"I can't smell you. None of us can. It confuses me. It's like....It's like you help heal my monstrous thoughts of draining a human by taking away my thirst. You smell like home to me."
"Y-you smell like happy memories of my childhood."
“Everything about me is to lure in my prey. I don’t look at you as my prey.”
You skipped going to Forks. Going straight home after your classes in La Push. You sat at a table by yourself much to your friend’s dismay. The tall figure spoke to you as you didn’t eat lunch.
“You want this?”
It was a bag of chips from the snack line. You shake your head. He sits down in front of you. Any other time, you would be freaking out at the fact that the Paul Lahote was in your face, talking to you, offering to give you a snack. You were too shaken up.
“You look like you’ve seen death.” he teases.
“Close to it.” you whispered.
“Let me take you to a movie. To get your mind off of things.”
“Okay.” you blindly agree.
His arm was snug around your shoulders as you both walked through the streets of Port Angeles. Turning your head, you saw the silver car with the face you weren’t ready to see just yet, leaning against it. He only watched.
You blink and look down as your heart beat out of your chest. You look back up to find both his car and him, gone.
The movie was a vampire film. Paul’s laughs at how corny it was didn’t attempt to make things better. You blinked at how he just didn’t know the things that lurked in the this world in secret and he just didn’t know.
You let him kiss you. Desperate for normalcy. But, it wasn’t the same as kissing the familiar statue. He was skilled, but the spark that you got from Edward wasn’t there. You decided that the spark that you were looking for was artificial before you accept Paul’s invite to see you again.
“You haven’t been in class in two weeks. You were doing phenomenal, Y/N.” The principal worriedly brought to your attention. He pulled you out of home room to have a talk with you.
Sleeping seemed impossible. Homework was getting back up which meant falling grades, which meant you weren’t allowed to hang out with Paul outside of school.
You gripped the back of the chair in front of you.
“There’s no other teacher in Forks that teach Ap Art?” you ask timidly.
A head shake is all what you got.
You sat at a new table when you finally came. His gaze was too much. You found yourself locking eyes with him even though you didn’t want to. You left class before he could catch up with you. You avoided him like the plague.
People thought you two had a falling out. You just wished it were that simple.
Soon, the course ended and summer vacation rolled into a new beginning. You scrolled through potential colleges that you were thinking about just diving into.
Just to get away from Washington.
To get away from him.
You didn’t want to believe it was all true, but the forest constantly reminded you of the truth. The thought of leaving him and this place, made you feel uneasy.
You did a lot of crying as you couldn’t even make out a decision.
Trudging to your bed, you go into a fetal position as you let the tears fall until you fall asleep.
You blink open your eyes at the darkness as you saw something standing. You didn’t panic. You slowly let your eyes sink in the scene.
You slowly sit up on your elbows as the soft rain padded against your window.
He was still.
Whispered words were spoken.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.”
You were still as you continued to stare at him. He continued to stare at you.
“I miss you.”
You breathe in and before you could stop yourself, you found yourself uttering out the words, “I miss you too.”
“I broke the treaty…You’re worth it.” he admits quietly.
You felt his chiseled face, pushing down the guilt that ate at your insides. The smooch sounded soft but it was filled with passion as you were still but both lips were sticking to each other’s like magnets. The spark ignited within you, threatening to swallow you whole. You felt at home, where you belonged.
He leaned with subtle force and your mouth slightly cracked open as your bottom lip felt the coolness of his tongue. It wasn’t unpleasant. You leaned into the sensation as his hand cradled your cheek even more into the kiss.
Lips were pulled away as you were panting heavily, you shut your mouth to even your breathing.
You slid on your rain jacket and slid sweatpants on over your sleep shorts. He held your hand as he slid open your window, your heart pounded at the thought of anyone seeing him but the street was dead.
You’re on his back and your heart pounds as he climbed out before jumping down.
He watched as you stick a piece of breakfast food into your mouth. The sun was beginning to rise as the Port Angeles diner window showcased such proof.
“I haven’t seen you in so long.” he says quietly as he reached for your hand.
You pause as you watched his fingers stay on your hand.
“There’s a possibility that we might see each other in the future.”
“I don’t want that.” he shook his head with a pained expression that he couldn’t suppress.
“We all can’t have what we want.”
“We have something real.”
The words tempted you to give in. But, after following you to a bus stop, you turn to him. The sun was up, birds flew out of his walkway.
“The things that we want aren’t always good for us.”
“What about the things that we need?” he came back with.
You look down.
“I’m sorry.” you whispered. You pull your hand out of his hand as you heard the bus pulling up. It stopped with a screech as the doors open. You turn and climb the steps before walking down the aisle and sitting in a seat.
The bus turns and you look out of the window to see his figure still standing there. You turn your head before leaning back into your seat. You fought everything in you to not run off of the bus. You squeezed your eyes shut as you clenched your jaw. He dug his hands into his pockets as he watched you be taken away. Taken away from him.
genre: college crush, angst with some cute moments
warnings: self sabotaging, shouting(reader and hongjoong yell at each other), a kiss, one swear word i think
wc / cc : 2.3k / 13k
atz summer masterlist
synopsis —---
love is something he doesn't want to trust ever again. he tells himself he doesn't want to do relationships anymore. well.. until his heart starts beating again. what does he do now?
—-- ⪩⪨⪩⪨
Bitter feelings and bitter thoughts follow him as he saw all the happy couples as he walks to the library with his hands in his pockets. He couldn't say he was freshly out his last relationship, nope, they ended things almost a year ago... He didn't miss her as a person but he did miss having someone with him. His relationship with Nara lasted almost 2 years, that was his longest relationship yet. It was perfect the first few months, he thought he had finally found the one. She was pretty, funny and kind... At first. Until he saw her true colours. He told himself he was done. Done with dates, done with relationships. He could only take so much heartbreak.
Hongjoong enters the library. Seonghwa invited him to study with him and Minho for exams. Last year of college's exams had them all stressed, so studying together gave them some sort of peace for this year.
Hongjoong spots Seonghwa at one of the further tables. He walks over to the table, noticing right away that there were three people instead of two. Upon closer look, he finds out it's a woman. A woman he didn't recognize.
“Hey Joong,” Seonghwa spots him first. Hongjoong sits down in the empty seat next to Seonghwa.
“Hey.”
“Took you long enough,” Minho says and Hongjoong shakes his head and rolls his eyes
“Professor had me stay after classes.” He makes eye contact with the girl across from him, she was sitting next to Minho, she looks at him with curiosity. She smiles. He smiles back, politely.
“This is Y/N, she's my friend.”
“Hi, it's nice to meet you, Hongjoong.”
“Nice to meet you too.” Hongjoong's eyes linger on you a little longer than he hoped.
“Now that Hongjoong is here, let's get started.” They all pull out their textbooks.
⪩⪨
After that, Y/N was everywhere since Minho and Seonghwa invited you to all the hang outs. And he didn't mind, Hongjoong liked your company. You two eventually get closer over the few months. It was refreshing really, he liked you. As a friend of course.
It was during another study session when Hongjoong broke his pencil in half accidentally.
“Shit.” He rummages through his backpack only to find out he left his pencil case at home. “Does anyone have an extra pencil I can borrow?”
“Yeah,” you're the first to answer. You take a purple pencil out of your pencil case. It had a kitty grip around the base, most of your pencils were animal themed—something he noticed over the weeks of studying with you. You hand it to him, your fingertips brush together. A flick of electricity ran up his arm.
“Um thanks.” You nod once, eyes not meeting his. You had felt it too, he was almost certain.
And there were many more moments like that.. you caught him staring at you a couple times, whether it was during your group study sessions or a normal hangout, his eyes always managed to find you. A little embarrassing for him but you found it cute—endearing.
You and Hongjoong grew closer too, sending each other memes or tiktoks during the late night hours. You both found each other's company a steady peace, a nice balance to the stressful year of university. You both also started hanging out without Seonghwa and Minho, just the two of you. When Seonghwa and Minho learned of that, they both gave you knowing looks and grins. Hongjoong brushed whatever they were thinking of quickly. You and him are just friends!
You and Hongjoong had late night talks over the phone, it was easy to rant about school or other little problems with each other. Some other moments you two would just sit in silence during facetime, it was comfortable.
Hongjoong caught himself thinking about you even when you weren't around and honestly it was frightening. Hongjoong told himself you were just a good friend—nothing more. He had to make sure of it.
A conversation about exes came up. You told him how you and your ex had ended things on relatively good terms. You asked him if he's dated someone before, he was pretty vague when he answered—he dated this girl but it ended badly between them. She was terrible. But he never went into full detail on what happened so you assumed it was a touchy subject and so you dropped it.
⪩⪨
A month later, the group planned to go to the school festival. So you all went outfit shopping for tomorrow. Seonghwa wanted to go all out with somewhat matching outfits, of course you agreed quickly. Minho was a little reluctant but said yes. Hongjoong had said sure once he heard you had said yes.
The four of you went to the mall looking for something cool to wear.
“What do you guys think about this skirt?” You hold up the chrome silver mini skirt up for the boys to see. The idea was to all match with silver and black and another color of your choice. You look to Hongjoong first, wanting his opinion but he seemed distant—in thought of something, distracted. You notice of course, you pay way too much attention to him.
“You'll very hot in that skirt, Y/N. And it'll go well with the black turtleneck you're getting.” Seonghwa says his approval. Minho nods agreeing with Seonghwa “Don't you think so too Joong?”
Hongjoong snaps back to reality after hearing his name, “Huh? Oh. Y-Yeah, it'll look great on you, Y/N.” You don't miss the way his eyes linger on you a second too long.
“Thanks guys,” you say.
Almost 3 hours had passed before you all eventually found the perfect outfits for the festival. The reason for that was you all kept getting distracted in the mall. You four were going to be the best dressed at the festival, if you said so yourself—you couldn't wait to take pictures. Especially with Hongjoong. You were very certain that his outfit that he picked was surely going to make you die tomorrow—you weren't even going to bother denying the feelings to yourself. You definitely liked Hongjoong, and you most certainly wished you both could be more.
“Oh fuck.” Minho says as you all were exiting the mall. You turn to look at him with a tilt of your head, eyebrows furrowed. “Uh, Joong could you take Y/N home later? Something came up and I have to go like now.”
“But we were all going to get ice cream!” You pout.
“Um. Yeah, I can do that.”
“Sorry Y/Nie.” Minho pats your head with a kind of softness that made you feel warm in a siblingly way. “We can get ice cream together, tomorrow?”
“We can reschedule for ice cream tomorrow, after the festival.” Seonghwa suggests.
And so it was agreed on to go get ice cream tomorrow. You get into the passenger seat of Hongjoong's car after saying goodbyes to Seonghwa and Minho.
The car ride was filled with RnB music playing in the background. There was a bit of conversation here and there between you but the drive was mostly filled with silence and soft humming to the music. You felt him glance over to you a couple times but not once did you mention it—his gaze had made you a little nervous.
He pulls into the parking lot of your apartment building and kills the engine. You open the car door and he does too which confuses you.
“What are you doing?”
“You think I'm gonna let you go up by yourself at this time? I gotta make sure you get in safe.” That made you feel more warm inside than you cared to admit.
He goes to the backseat and takes your shopping bags for you. He gestures for you to lead the way. You and Hongjoong walk up the stairs to get to your apartment level. You fumble in your purse for your keys as you two came nearer to your front door.
“Thanks for dropping me off, Hongjoong.” Your voice was low in the quiet exterior corridor.
You stop in front of the black front door, unlocking it. The metal numbers looked shiney under the walkway lights. You turn to him when he hadn't answer, he was already staring at you.
“Huh—oh yeah. It was no problem.”
“Uh... I guess this is good night?” You say awkwardly.
“Yeah.” He hands you the two bags that held your clothes for tomorrow. Your fingertips brush together, the same familiar electricity ran up your arm—it was faint though, hardly noticable in the night's cool air.
You linger outside, not wanting to part just yet. He was close, he hadn't taken a step back after handing you your stuff.
Hongjoong had dreamt of you last night, just like he had almost everyday before this whole week. It was the same recurring dream over and over—he hardly remembers how it starts but it always ended with you kissing him. It felt too realistic, the curve of your lips—the heat of your skin. It was ruining him to wake up in the middle of the night with the hot mental image of your electric kisses fresh in his mind. Standing here with you alone was dangerous.
He didn't even realize it when he leans in. You freeze but for just half a second and before he knows, your lips meet warm and soft. He pulls back, wide eyed staring at you like he committed a crime. His lips open to apologize but you speak up first.
“Shhh, It's fine.” You smile at him. “Night Hongjoong.”
“Night..”
And you go inside your apartment. You wait until he had left away from your door to let out a short scream. It was short because you had neighbors. You're literally a blushing mess right now—heart racing and hands trembling. Did that really just happen? You were hardly able to sleep that night.
⪩⪨
The festival had been amazing so far, you and your friends took so many selfies in your matching outfits looking all hot and amazing. The 4 of you got many compliments as well! There so much to do too; carnival themed games, food, photo booth and bands playing live at the stage. There was a little break before the next band and you wanted more of that ice tea they sold at the stand. Minho made Hongjoong go with you even though you were very capable of going to get ice tea by yourself. You weren't even complaining though.
You take a sip of the delicious ice tea, walking side by side with Hongjoong in the more quieter part of the festival. Everyone went to go find a spot while the band gets ready to play, so it was finally quiet—hardly anyone around. The kiss was on your mind, how could it not be? You were basically alone with him, in close proximity. You needed to say something. You stop walking, he turns to face you—wondering why you stopped.
“Hongjoong, I-I like you.” You finally manage to get out. Panic floods his eyes.
“Shit.. um—” He sputters. Your face turns red. Did you miss read everything? No you couldn't have, the feelings were mutual—it was obvious. You tilt your head, confused by his reaction.
“Look Y/N.. you're nice girl, but I don't think I can do this...” He says quietly, his eyes focused on his shoes.
“W-What?”
“I just can't have a relationship with you.” He didn't look at you.
“Why?” You couldn't help but ask, your heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces, like it was made of glass and someone had taken a hammer, hitting it a million times.
“I just can't— I don't feel like that for you.” You scoff.
“So that kiss meant nothing to you?” You felt the tears pricking at your eyes. He hesitates, he shakes his head no. “So you were leading me on?”
Your voice was louder. He didn't answer.
“Those late night talks, gentle touches, soft glances, those didn't mean anything to you? It was all one sided?” He still did not answer. “Was it?”
“No Y/N. It's... one sided.” He still wouldn't look at you, glancing everywhere but you.
“I don't believe you!” You yell at him. The music of the band begins again but you didn't care. That was least of your worries now. “ You're not that type of person...”
Your voice soft now. After the months of getting to know him, he wasn't someone to just lead someone on. There was something else.
Hongjoong's heart clenched. But he couldn't do this. He didn't want to end up going through the same thing again. Not with you, it would hurt worse. Way more than it did the first time.
“Don't act like you know me! Y/N, why can't you grasp the fact that I don't want to be with you?” You flinch.
“Don't you dare try to pull that crap with me! I know you a lot more than you think, and I can tell that it's something deeper than this. Why won't you even look at me?!” You yell as the tears that were in your eyes finally fell. He flinches, finally looking at you. Just what he was afraid of, it broke him. It felt like someone pulled his heart out of his chest. “Why won't you just talk to me?”
There was a heavy pause, your body shakes with silent sobs. The weight was crushing you both.
He looks away before whispering, “Because I don't want to be hurt like before.”
There was another pause. The dots finally connecting as you realize.
“I won't hurt you. I could never do whatever she did to you, I love you too much.” he didn't say anything. “...Do you not trust me?”
“I'm sorry Y/N. I'm really sorry.”
And he leaves you standing there, devastated.
He doesn't look back, tears already falling from his own eyes. He had done it to protect himself... But why did it hurt more than bring him relief?
summary : when Disneyland becomes the happiest place on earth with an unexpected partner.
warnings : angst, fluff to angst, sorry pookie <3
The happiest place on earth definitely didn't feel the happiest when your friend gets the flu and you're too broke to waste your tickets so you just decided to go by yourself.
But that too seemed like a stupid idea now that you stood in line for your favorite ride but without your best friend, the best friend who on call reminds you that everything happens for a reason and maybe you were meant to go alone but you just rolled your eyes at her.
the staff called on you to go take a seat but you were alone and the people behind you were a couple so of course you would sit alone for this ride too, just another pitiful reminder of how you decided to come alone.
So it was pretty surprising when the cute looking guy behind the lovey dovey couple decided to sit next to you. You just prayed that your wide eye didn't scare the guy away before the ride started.
Instead the guy started a conversation with you and suddenly the ride you were so dying to go on seemed not that interesting after all.
You're even more sold when he tells you he came here alone too, something about winning the tickets but you're too focused on the ride around you.
He even offers you his hand when he gets off the ride which you gladly take. He takes you by surprise when he asks "which ride should we go on next?".
We? as in you and him? you ask and he just nods like you asked the most simple question ever, embarrassed you just point to the next ride and let him drag you by the hand there.
He stands next to you in line, talks about the weather, about the ride you're gonna go on and you nod as he does most of the talking for a while.
laughs with you on the ride, holds your hands as it drops from a height, laughs with you while your hair floats up to the sky from the drop.
Even though you decline, still buys the pictures from the ride where you're screaming and he's laughing, he thinks its cute and you think its embarrassing but accept the picture when he shoves it in your palm.
This was YOUR trip now, his and yours. You go on every single lovey dovey ride on your list and all the crazy and dangerous rides he has on his list and its a fair trade.
You're both starving by noon and finally sit down to grab some food and only when you sit is when you realize just how much you had walked up to that point.
That lunch felt more like a catching up with a old friend than with a complete stranger you met a couple hours ago. You accepted the bites he fed you off his plate like it was second nature even offering him your food in spoonfulls.
As the sun began to set you decided to walk to the Disney castle, stopping on your way at one of those carnival games and after you both lose a lot of money you managed to win him a piglet stuffed toy.
He held the piglet in his arms as you two walked up to the castle, making it just in time for the fireworks.
You turned to look at him to see if he's looking at the scene too, just to see his eyes already on you, his face inching closer as you lean in too. The kiss was short but passionate leaving you breathless if even for a moment.
As you pull away he's distracted by the buzzing of his phone, he looks at it before he looks up at you with a sad face and your face drops too.
He mumbles a quick "i have to leave" before turning away and disappearing into the crowd. Your hands reach out fingers barely grazing the back of his shirt before he's out of reach and soon out of sight.
A loud firecracker pulls you out of your daze as you turn back to the bright castle. You briefly look down to the picture held tightly in your hand, the one you took on the ride and you realize he left with the piglet as well, each having a parting gift.
And maybe your friend's words do make sense after all 'everything does happen for a reason' and maybe this place was happy after all.
don't know if i wanna make a part 2 to this but let me know if you would like one.
hiii! if you're up to it, can i request college!regina x fem!roommate!reader where they decided to drink as a celebration after their finals and things took a turn after they drank more than they could handle (either a kiss or something more, all up to you!!) + "… that shouldn’t have happened."
fluff ending or angsty ending all up to youu i trust your mind!! thank you so much!
Mistake That Can't be Taken Back
|| Regina George x fem!reader
|| Warnings; smut, swearing, Regina teasing reader, both girls get drunk and hook up, grinding, breast play, nipple sucking, orgasms, light choking, angst ending
|| Summary; when reader and Regina finish their finals, they have a little celebration in their dorm.
Requests open!
Started; october 29th
Finished; october 30th
~~~
"Yes, bitch!! We're done!" You cheered as you and your roommate made it back to the dorm; it was finally over. The big test that the whole year had led up to. At this point you hardly cared if you passed, you were just so fucking thankful that it was over with.
Regina couldn't help but smile a little as she watched your mini celebration, remembering how she felt when she first met you. She thought you were weird, stupid and flat out annoying. But over the last couple semesters she's learnt to get used to you. Even considered you a friend. "Woah, don't start partying without me." She smirked at you and you laughed a little, giving her a sheepish wink that made the blonde's eyes roll.
She headed to your shared fridge and took out some alcohol she managed to get just for this occasion. It was some expensive shit, you could just tell by the bottle. "Damn, blondie. How much did that bottle cost?" You asked, looking up at her.
Her eyebrow raised and she folded her arms across her chest," never ask a girl how much she spends on alcohol." Regina couldn't help but tease you. She loved making you think she was mad at you, your startled reactions amused Regina. You knew about what Regina had been like in highschool, you didn't have to have gone to NorthShore to know. Everyone heard the stories and rumours when Regina arrived at your college. But you could tell that wasn't the same person who stood before you. She's really trying to make an effort; you just couldn't help feeling a little nervous about her sometimes. Knowing that people can change just as easily as they can choose to go back.
Regina opened the bottle and poured a glass for the two of you, putting on some tunes. A collective playlist the two of you made. Featuring your favourite artists as well as Regina's. She handed your glass to you and you smiled," Thanks, G."
You took a sip from your glass, feeling the alcohol flow down your throat. Definitely tasted like what you expected rich people alcohol to. But it surprisingly wasn't that bad. The flavour was good. Your smile brightened a little and you took some more. Regina laughed at your reaction," easy, I'm not cleaning up your vomit."
"I'll be fine!" You told her. Talk about famous last words, right? Surprisingly enough though, you didn't jinx yourself. You kept your alcohol in as you and Regina had a mini two person party.
The two of you getting drunk, dancing and laughing together. Rambling about anything in everything. When a slow song played, you could feel the atmosphere change. Regina's eyes looked into yours as the two of you sat on her bed. Being on her bed likely didn't help the situation at all, either.
Before either of you knew it, your lips were moving against one another. You'd moved yourself into her lap and gently pushed her down to the sheets. Hips grinding against hers as she moaned into your lips. Hand coming up to gently grip your neck; just enough to apply pressure to your throat. You wanted her in the moment. Needed her just as much as she needed you. Your bodies moved against each other's, building the friction between the two of you.
It wasn't long before your clothes were tossed and discarded onto the floor. Forgotten about as you explored each other's bodies. Regina's hand moved from your neck to your chest, feeling the soft skin as she squeezed. Massaging your breasts while she kissed you. Her tongue darting past your lips. You couldn't help but moan, letting her do whatever she wanted. Your clit rubbed against hers, trying to chase your release. Feeling the sensation build up in your stomach and twist in knots that became almost too much to handle. Your body trembled as Regina held you, breaking the kiss and moving her lips to your neck. Leaving hickies and trailing down until she reached your breasts. Her lips latched around your nipple as she sucked them. Moaning against your skin, the vibrations heightening your own sensations. The alcohol making you vulnerable to sensitivity.
The blonde brought you to release, feeling yourself cum onto her clit. She smirked against your breast, though she never stopped her movements. Bringing herself to her own orgasm.
The next morning, you and Regina both woke up with a sense of dread. You slowly sat up in her sheets, still naked from the night before. Shaking your head a little and resting your hand to your forehead. Fuck.. as good as it felt.. it really shouldn't have happened. The two of you were drunk. Just friends. Roommates.
"That shouldn't have happened." Regina whispered, as if reading your thoughts. This was a mistake that can't be taken back. And you both knew that. What did it mean for your friendship?
I drew the remaining routes from @honeqq's Mr Bill Pines au aka the ones that no one has touched yet lolll. Top to bottom is Route #6,Route #5,Route #3,and Route #2. 6,Bill destroys Ford's dimension and thus gives him a reason to stay with him. 5,Bill becomes mortal for Ford. 3,Bill moves on after Ford's death. 2,Bill starts Weirdmaggedon instead of moving on from Ford's death.
Even though you both want things to work, one mistake proves they can't.
1,664 words
Vaginal sex
You couldn't help but wear a small, barely noticeable smile the next day. You had finally gotten something good for the very first time here. Something worth waking up for. For the first time in over a year, you found a genuine reason to be alive.
It was a smile that wasn't missed. A smile that made a stranger scowl at you as they were filled with a shared hatred amongst everyone in the safe haven. A hatred that wouldn't leave until you did.
“What are you so happy about? You sell us out to someone again? Huh?”
Your smile instantly dropped at their words, brows furrowing in remorse.
Still, you looked at Thomas who was right behind the girl. Your eyes pleaded for him to say something. To prove that he cared about you. To prove last night meant as much to him as it did to you.
He stayed silent, dropping his head in shame.
“You don't belong here. You never, ever will. Freak.”
You didn't remove your gaze from him, waiting. Waiting for him to show you two could be something.
He still stayed silent.
As you walked away, losing all hope yet again, he regretted it greatly.
And still, he said nothing.
That's how you knew you were finally done. You wouldn't be everyone's punching bag any longer. If they would all be happier with you gone, fine. You’ll leave and never come back to this hellhole.
You were already packed. All you had to do was walk out.
A plan that was interrupted as the last person you ever wanted to lay eyes on walked in without knocking, shutting your door as he looked at you.
You turned your back to him, glaring at the wall.
“I’m sorry. I should have said something. I know that,”He apologized, walking over, putting a hand on your back. You pushed him away as you started walking, bag in hand, hate and hurt bubbling inside of you.
“Don't go. Come on, you can't go,”He pleaded. Ignoring him, you were about to open your door. “Y/N-”
“Fuck off,”You couldn't resist telling him, turning around to fire at him. A bad decision as he grabbed your hand, pathetically keeping you with him. “Let go,”You demanded, struggling from his grip.
“Stay, stay, stay. Just stay,”He repeated, wrapping his arms around your stomach, pulling you close.
“Fuck you.”
“Please, please, please? I’m sorry, but still stay? Please?”He begged, tightening his hold on you.
“Let me go-”
“Please, please? I need you. Please-”
Elbowing his ribs, you cut him off. Groaning, he held his stomach, letting you out of his hold. Still, he felt your glare, a look he met but didn't return.
“You wanna know what you smelt like last night?”You asked in a blank voice, crossing your arms. He could only stare, holding his breath as he waited for you to speak.
“Shame. You smelt like cum and shame. It was all over your damn hands.”
“I-I,”He sputtered, trying to find words. His face went hot, a dark red as he desperately wished for his brain to cooperate with him.
“You weren't into me. You were horny. You were horny, and tired of just jacking off, and would have fucked anyone.”
“That's not true,”He promised.
“It is. You didn't want me. You were just tired of your hand.”
“It wasn't like that. It was complicated. It really, really was,”He said firmly, the familiar pit growing inside of him.
“Yeah. It sure seemed complicated when you bent me over and just started thrusting. That was real, real complicated.”
“The sex wasn't complicated. It was just-it was everything before that. There was so much going on that I couldn't just tell someone about.”
“You're a fantastic liar. None of it was hard for you. You cut me off to kiss me, and you were so desperate to fuck someone you didn't even bother taking all your clothes off.”
“I wasn't just horny. I was feeling a lot of things, and I still don't know what all of them are,”He rushed out, his hands running through his hair as he attempted to calm himself.
“The only thing you were feeling is hard. You only care that I’m leaving because it means you’ll lose a possible fuck buddy. Not even a friend. Just someone you can call when you're lonely.”
“I wasn't lonely, okay? There's a lot going on. A lot happening,”He tried, close to frustrated tears. You didn't even notice, the anger replacing all thoughts.
“The only thing happening was whatever went on in that kitchen! You don't care about me! You just want sex!”
“I don't just want sex! It isn't that simple!”
“It obviously is!”
“Fine! You wanna know why it's not simple?! You wanna know why it's so complicated?!”
“Obviously!”
“I was already thinking of you! Okay?!”
You both froze at the confession, your eyes widening as your mouth opened. A tense silence followed, both of you taking in the words he hadn't meant to say. Since he couldn't find any, since his mind blanked, he said the only thing that did make sense.
“I was thinking of you,”He whispered.
“Why?”You asked quietly.
“I-I don't know. I know I shouldn't do it. I know it's bad, but I see you every day. I see you all the time, and you were the first person I ever wanted as more than a friend. And you did something bad. You did something awful, and I don't know how that makes me feel about you now, but I know if you asked me to be with you I wouldn't be able to say no. And I hate that. I hate that, and it's so much easier to just lust over you. Lust is so simple. So I did. I would touch myself, and I would think of you, and I would imagine you were there, and I would finish, and I would feel so bad about it. I really, really would.”
“Thomas-”
“I’m sorry,”He whispered, his voice cracking.
Your eyes softened as you put your bag down, walking over to him. Holding his face in your hands, you gently brushed your lips against yours, a stark contrast to all of the roughness from last night.
He wrapped his arms the back of your neck as he kissed back, his face squished against yours. Opening his mouth, he let you slide your tongue inside, grazing his as you deepened it.
His hands traveled to your inner thighs, rubbing them.
Tonight would be different. You were sure of that.
It would also be better.
You pulled away, taking his hand and leading him to your bed. Laying on it, he propped himself up as you were both back to kissing, hands traveling everywhere as you both did, undressing the other at a teasing pace.
“Are you okay with this?”He asked.
“As long as you are,”You promised.
“I always am,”He smiled, kissing you again.
In sync, you switched positions, you laying under him. Slowly, carefully, he nudged inside of you, watching your face as he filled you up.
You whimpered as you stretched around him, wiggling your hips to get him deeper.
“Are you alright?”He checked.
“Yes.”
“Can I move?”
“Please.”
Taking your answer, he pulled out before slamming back into you, resting his chest against yours. You moaned his name as you were fucked for the second night in a row.
It was something else though. You swear you would both call this one making love.
He kissed your neck, sucking on your soft skin, as he reached for your hands. His fingers wrapped around yours, locking your hands beside your head.
You arched your back as you whimpered, listening to him make his own sounds against your skin. Your eyes shut as you felt him twitch inside of you, him enjoying the buildup and gentless even more than the quickness and desperation last night.
Pressing his mouth against yours, he increased his pace, making your legs shake as you moaned against his lips. Tightening around him, you found yourself getting closer and closer.
“I love you. God, I love you,”He breathed out as he disconnected your mouths, his eyes shut as he finished inside of you. You gasped at both the confession and the orgasm rippling through the body, your eyes rolling back to your head.
Groaning, he pulled out of you, keeping one of his hands in yours. Turning to face him, you rubbed your thumb over her knuckles before kissing the tip of his nose.
“I love you too, Thomas.”
He assumed he was just lusting after you, because it seemed insane that a past WCKD worked who betrayed them could love a past WCKD worked who only left when the organization fell apart.
It wasn't though. You were both living proof of it.
The love making, the holding each other, the love confession, it was nothing short of perfect. Lying beside him in your bed, laying on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. It was everything.
But you knew better now. Even if he loved you, you couldn't count on him to defend you. You couldn't count on him to show it.
Softly running your hands through his hair for the first and last time, you kissed his forehead, a small act of affection you had and would never give to anyone else.
Pulling away, you wiped your tears as you walked out the door, away from all of the torment.
He would cry when he woke up to see your bag and you gone. He would sob as he lost another person.
This time while they were still living.
He would never get to know if it stayed that way though. All he could do was live his life haunted by your ghost.
And still never speaking up when there were whispers about you.
