#autistic afab

[audhdnight]

Me: I don’t think I stim, at least not that much

Also me for the last 20 years:

Walks on toes when thinking hard or feeling jittery

Taps out repeating patterns with fingers and toes when feeling social anxiety

Repeats big words over and over in my head when unable to clear intrusive thoughts

Wiggles isolated leg muscles when overwhelmed by loud noise

Rubs hands in circles on carpet when trying to speak clearly with friends

Chews lips and fingernails constantly

Listens to the same song for hours on end when tired or upset

Repeatedly puts hair up and takes it down again when trying to focus

Intentionally makes limbs/hands fall asleep when bored so the tingly feeling acts as a distraction

Paces constantly

Always has to have a show to watch when trying to do anything productive (almost always Criminal Minds)

Can’t fall asleep without rubbing feet together or wiggling toes for several minutes

Stays on the merri-go-round until physically sick

Does consecutive summersaults on the trampoline until dizzy

Wiggles fingers when excited

Conductor hands to music

Bounces excessively when enjoying music

Compulsively reorganizes bookshelves and desk and art supplies and collectibles when bored/understimulated

Rubs face to the point of causing rashes when thinking hard or overwhelmed (usually this happens when I’m driving)

[autistic-whovian]

People are so against bullying autistic people but not against bullying people for autistic traits.

Allistics and neurotypicals will say they’re anti-ableism until the sun don’t shine, but will make fun of band kids, theatre nerds, people who like kids shows, people really into a celebrity, Disney adults, people who carry stuffed animals around, people who speak monotone, people who use large words, people in “cringy” fandoms, people who talk too loud, talk too little, carry stim toys, use accommodations, spend a lot of time alone-

[rachymarie]

Still undiagnosed high-masking autistic women still being good little girls and masking like they've always had to do as 2025 progresses:

[demontobee]

Autism and Invalidation

I just can’t believe how QUICK people are to invalidate your experience. Which is why it is so important to learn to love and validate yourself.

I was diagnosed with autism earlier last year, because I had done tons of research on the topic and I had gone through the arduous process of finding a place to get the assessment done. During this process, I constantly doubted myself, and I went through loops and loops of feeling like an impostor but also the need to get answers. The assessment process itself was hard on my self-confidence as well, since I felt weird and out-of-place as an afab person assessed by the white male boy standards of autism research. Nevertheless, I got my diagnosis after weeks of filling out questionnaires and feeling uncomfortable in interviews. Having a formal diagnosis relieved me to some extent, but it has not yet cured me from self-doubt and the feeling of shame that washes over me at the thought of feigning it just to get attention, to belong somewhere, to have answers. Since I got the diagnosis, I have made huge changes in my life, which has been wonderful and terrifying at once, and I’ve had more meltdowns than I can count. And I should be proud. I have managed to overcome hurdles like my life-long comfort zone, I am trying to set boundaries and I want to find out what really makes me happy, what I was made for.

And it is exactly this achievement that makes other people doubt the validity of my experience as an autistic person.

My current therapist, who has no specific expertise in autism (especially not in afab queer autistic beans), told me last week that she thinks I was misdiagnosed. Why? Because I am able to handle change so well, because I am a very reflected person who knows exactly what their problems are and how I am harming myself, because I am able to think critically about my parents and the way they raised and treated me. An autistic person, it seems, would not be able to so that.

Bullshit.

You know how I am able to do all these things that she apparently thinks are reserved for neurotypical people? I have been teaching myself, in an ongoing and nerve-wrecking process, how to handle change. I have been working on loving myself and respecting myself enough to want to make changes that benefit me and my well-being. Setting boundaries is a hard and heart-breaking process for me. It doesn’t come naturally to me and I often feel lonely or guilty. For as long as I can remember, my mind has been going round and round reflecting on my actions, other people’s reactions, normal behavior and so on. Reflecting for me is not a skill that proves how “normal” I am, it is a survival strategy. And it is about time I put it to good use instead of fueling my anxiety and my self-criticism with it.

Just because you are developing skills that help you learn to love and validate yourself does not mean your experience as an autistic person is not valid. Formally diagnose or not. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[chaoticautie]

“I’m not like other girls”

You’re an undiagnosed autistic in a room full of NT girls that treat you like a pet and a freak show, of course you’re not like them.

[calicoboy-9]

Hidden disabilities exist and are valid.

Autism, ADHD, etc. Are disabilities, not "superpowers" or "an excuse for bad behaviour"

There is nothing "wrong" with being neurodivergent, society just makes existing as neurodivergent people hard.

Neurodivergent and disabled people, visible or invisible, are just as valid and deserving of love, care and acceptance as any other human being. They do not deserve to be made to feel "lesser than" or infantalised.

Disabled people are human people and should be treated that way.

[itsgivingautism]

I constantly question my autism as a late diagnosed autistic person but literally all my friends and partner are like “nahhhh you’re definitely autistic” but I still feel like a fraud. I just feel like a lazy pos bc I was so programmed to feel this way. Yknow ? It just fucking sucks. Bc I constantly just feel like I’m just lazy and not trying hard enough (I also have physical disabilities & chronic illnesses) bc I was abused so much most of my life and even my physical disabilities & chronic illnesses were gaslighted. I have no idea how to just be satisfied with myself existing as I need to bc of all my abuse & trauma even when everyone around me is validating my autism & disabilities/illnesses. I hate this programming from trauma. I wish I could cure myself of this human computer virus.

[monachopsis-11]

Random thoughts today, not that this blog is ever anything more than my random thoughts but I keep seeing posts and stuff saying things like ‘Disabled people can do anything!’ But isn’t that kind of ridiculous? Because trust me I can’t do everything, in fact there’s many things I can’t do at all and even more I can’t do without hurting myself which is kind of the point.

The social model of disability is meant to acknowledge the hardships and burdens society places on disabled people by not accommodating us and acknowledge the way these make our lives harder, not to say that disability would cease to exist entirely under a different government or economic system.

It’s just isn’t true and I don’t appreciate the narrative these kind of comments create even though they have positive intent. A huge part of why I’m disabled has absolutely nothing to do with society, if I woke up tomorrow and everything was more accessible to everyone I still wouldn’t understand how to socialize or be able to shower as often as I need to or do the dishes and if we’re truly trying to accept disability that needs to be okay too.