There should be a warning label to anyone who decides to date Bruce Wayne.
But then again, the line of people who actually want to commit to the person and not the status or legend attached to it is decidedly long, and Hal was determined to be the last person to ever date Bruce Wayne for the rest of their lives, thank you very much.
Still, Hal wished he had a forewarning. Maybe an instruction manual or an introductory pamphlet or sorts.
Because he wasn't prepared for this, okay!
When Hal committed to being in a relationship with Bruce Batman Wayne, he was prepared to have an emotionally conflicted partner who had the clingy body of a brick oven. Hal was prepared to get into stupid fights more often. Hal was prepared to be iffy about the money and intrigue surrounding their entanglement.
What he didn't anticipate was Bruce being CUTE.
This lack of preparation could kill a man.
Maybe Hal WAS dead and he was in heaven.
The version of "heaven" for him, apparently, involved living in a world where Bruce, stoic man that he is, pampers him and calls him sweet names.
A "Good morning, lovely" as Hal is woken up by peppered kisses and a warm body pressing him into the covers
Then a "Let me get that for you, darling" as Bruce opens doors for him
With a dash of "Do you like it, dearest?" as Bruce models a nice coat on, shyly smiling at him for his attention
And a side of "May I, love?" as Bruce leans in for a kiss, blushing like crazy even after weeks to months of dating
Like? How! How is Hal meant to survive living the rest of his life with this man!? He's going to have a heart attack. Hal is gonna have cardiac arrest. If Bruce goes as far as to send him a blown kiss, Hal will actually just dissolve into a giggly mess.
