All I’m saying is if and when another production company takes over Doctor Who they have the chance to pull the funniest possible prank by giving the Billie Piper Doctor their episode, explaining it away as the doctor trying on a new body or being able to get a surprise bonus regeneration in or whatever other sci fi bs they want to go for to line the actual new lead up. So picture this with me: The villain has been defeated. The new companion has been suitably dazzled. The Piper!Doctor says their final words. Regeneration (re)commences. And who is that they’re turning into? It’s Freema Agyeman
ilya & sneezing in the centaurs locker room (after shane joins the team)
scenario 1:
It’s after the longest practice of the preseason that Ilya sneezes in the locker room for the first time after Shane became a Centaur.
“Bless you,” Shane says. He walks over to his stall and grabs the travel pack of tissues he keeps on hand, giving a few to Ilya.
“Thank you,” Ilya replies with a sniffle. He buries his nose into the tissues and blows harshly. The entire team erupts into laughter.
“What’s going on?” Shane questions. He’s normally pretty aware of the chatter happening in the locker room, but he must’ve been too busy trying to not look bothered by Ilya’s sneeze to notice what happened.
“You walk Roz like a dog, Hollzy,” Bood says, as if that explains it all.
Shane shoots Ilya a questioning look, but Ilya just smiles.
“If any of us tried to bless him or even acknowledge that he sneezed last year he made us do extra bag skates,” Hayes says.
“Really, Ilya?” Shane asks, rolling his eyes. Ilya shrugs.
“So the fact that he let you bless him, hand him tissues, and used the tissues instead of a towel? A complete turnaround from the man of last season,” Barrett adds.
“Having you here has made me a changed man, moya lyubov'” Ilya says, hugging Shane from behind. The rest of the team groans, but Shane knows they don’t mean it in a bad way.
“Get off me, asshole. You haven’t showered yet.”
Ilya presses a kiss to Shane’s cheek, earning some whistles from half of the team and “ew”s from the other half. He winks at Shane before going to the showers.
“Like a damn dog, Hollander. Like a damn dog,” Bood says, clapping Shane on the back.
scenario 2:
Luca had come down with a terrible cold. The kid is all sniffles and rough coughs. Ilya benched him about five minutes into practice, but Haas wouldn’t go home even if it’s what he desperately needed to do.
They’re back in the locker room after practice has finished, taking off the gear and talking about what to expect for tomorrow’s practice when Luca lets out a sneeze.
“ACHOO!”
“Bless you,” Shane says, automatically.
It’s followed by a chorus of blessings from everyone else on the team. Shane hands some tissues from his stall to Luca who accepts them gratefully (and with a bright red face). The locker room conversations continue, and Shane gets lost in his post practice routine until he sees Ilya jackknife in half. He doesn’t have to wait for the sound to know what’s coming.
“HEH-PTSHIEW! APTSHIEW! HAATSHIEW!” Ilya sneezes into a towel that’s between cupped hands. Shane can’t decide if he’s extremely grossed out or extremely turned on by the display.
“Bless you,” Shane says. He looks away as Ilya blows his nose into the towel, hoping no one notices how red his own face surely is now.
“Goddamn Roz, your nose jealous of Hollzy blessing Haas?” Barrett teases.
“You just had to one up the poor guy,” Hayes adds.
“We promise we know Hollzy’s yours, even if he blesses other people when they sneeze” Bood says with a laugh.
“Yes, his attention is all for me. No one else can have it.” Ilya retorts with a sniffle and a shit eating grin.
“You’re impossible,” Shane tells him once they’re next to each other.
“Yes, but it’s what you love about me.”
Shane shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully.
fall out boy in 2005: ugh!!! the girl i like doesn’t wanna dance with me at the prom!!! >:,(
fall out boy in 2023: i am so afraid of dying that it cripples me. nothing in my life can fill the hole in my soul, because it is irreparable and nothing can stop the inevitable.
