#numb feeling

[burned0utstar]

I can feel it getting worse again. Or maybe it was never better? I am good at pretending after all.

Whatever it is, I fear it will consume me. I fear I might not wake up anymore.

I fear life is just this.

[groovy-angel000]

I can feel myself shutting down again. It’s like my heart knows what’s coming and starts building walls before I even ask it to. My love for you fades into the background—not because I want it to, but because it’s the only way I know to survive. I tell myself my feelings are just going on a trip and that they’ll return, but every time they leave, they take longer to find their way back. I know I’m not alone in this; other people must feel it too, and I wonder if it terrifies them the way it terrifies me. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can already feel the distance growing. You made me feel unwanted, and now my mind is bracing for heartbreak—the only thing that’s ever kept me alive when people walk away.

Some more revised old writing :)

[truestoriesnolies]

You think you’re fucking me with that angry face? Baby, I’m already numb - there‘s nothing left to shake. Don’t try too hard.. You might be the one who end up losing yourself.

truestoriesnolies

[mywholefcknheart]

Not here,

somewhere else.

Not with me,

far away.

It pains me to be hidden,

behind that blurry self.

Behind that other version of my pain,

that's devouring everything.

Pain, oh pain please go away,

please let be breathe,

let me leave.

I hate it here, please please take me away.

I hate you, me, myself, that and everything else, everything hurts so much so bad so overwhelmingly excruciatingly bad bad pain pain please please go away let me slip away.

I'm nothing nothing but this gooey radiating hideous pain eating my flesh away, eroding my soul leaving a pitch black hole to fill it with nothing but ail.

I know I'll be stuck here. Until it fades away. Nothing I can do but sit still and stare into the void of my own despair. Until it leaves, until it's gone.

So tired, dazed, outworn.

So I drown.

Drown.

Drown.

Drown.

until I'm dead.

drowned.

but stuck aboveground.

for everyone to see,

but for no one to feel.

[thedeadpoetshadow]

I'm done pretending I can't even remember when was the last time I was me myself.

[missing-no-001]

numb / anesthesia

part of my nerve condition is not just pain. it’s numbness. my mouth, my gums are increasingly not just painful and filled with shocks and stabs, but a creeping numbness. a numbness that will get worse over time as nerves not only rebel but die. and since there’s no cure and fighting doesn’t help, you have to become numb to it yourself. numb to the numbness.

we think numbness feels like nothing. but it feels like something. a sort of fuzzy, throbbing feeling. you can feel numbness. it’s the feeling you get at the dentist when they numb your mouth to prevent pain. it’s like an absence of feeling, but it’s not an absence. just a strange feeling. a substitution. it’s own kind of discomfort.

a hum. ambient.

emotional numbness is, in my experience, is the same.

[tomandgeriatric]

Feeling very little today and it sucks

[sparksandshadows]

You say you can't feel anymore But I'm sure that's just code for I'm numb and can't breathe Please just kill me