#rwby comedy

[markzschiegnerii]

Here are some Emotional Comic Dubs compiled into one

#RWBY #RubyRose #OscarPine #YangXiaoLong

Edited By DxBardock

Cast Mark Zschiegner II KShadowVA Actors Central Rose Petal

Comic Art by:JumJamz ChantalDraw MedLowDown

[chaoslordjoe]

Renora - Pregnant Pause

Jaune: So what's been going on, man? Been so busy on a covert op, I haven't heard from you and Nora.

Ren: Well, that's simply because we've- -

[Nora walks down the stairs with her baby bump.]

Nora: Hi guys.

Jaune: HUH?! NORA?!

Yang: You- -You're pregnant?!

Nora: *leans on Ren's shoulder* Yeah. Something wrong?

Yang: I...I...

Jaune: No. It's cool. We're happy for you, but wouldn't you be wigging out?

Nora: What do you mean? I'm still me, don't worry.

Ren: *nuzzles Nora, making her giggle* Meditation techniques are quite a cinch. You should try it especially, Yang.

[Jaune and Yang both face fault at how good Ren's calming methods are.]

@ezroar @laserdog10 @bssaz97 @gorillageek27 @kali-tmblr @seshirukun @rozanime @the-blue-quetzalcoatl @nix-nihil @canonseeker

[klein-isms]

Klein: I stare into the face of the abyss and it looks at me and smiles

Shopkeep: All I said was that we were out of butter cookies

[chaoslordjoe]

Bloodlines AU - 20,000 Pumpkin Pete’s Under the City

A/N: Yes, this is a SpongeBob reference. I just gotta put something out to curb my boredom. Roman is dead in this AU, but this scene from SpongeBob was just too good to pass up as a non-canon gag sketch.

Roman: Hey, little man. Care for a roll of Pumpkin Pete’s cotton candy?

Young Dominick (age 6): Does it come in Blueberry?

Roman: Well, no.

Dominick: Bubblegum?

Roman: Nope.

Dominick: Blueberry?

Roman: Ah, come on, kid. You asked me that already! Quit wasting my time!

Weiss: Excuse me, you’ve got no right to talk to my son that way! Who the hell do you think you are now, Roman?!

Roman: I *AM* Roman Torchwick, you trust-fund bratwurst! And your son smells like a miner’s used high-vis jacket!

Whitley: Excuse me, you’ve got no right to talk to my sister that way! What the hell do you think this is, you clockwork cretin?!

Roman: I think you and daddy should’ve turned yourselves over to Salem, junior. That’s what it is!

Willow: Excuse me, you’ve got no right to talk to my family that way! Someone oughta put you back in that dragon’s gut.

Roman: SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER INTO A FEILONG DEN, GRANDMA!!!

[chaoslordjoe]

"I'LL BE GODS-DAMNED, MY DAUGHTER IS MARRIED TO THIS PEASANT?! I WILL HAVE HIS FUCKING HEAD! ...But where does he get his blue hair dye? BAH! IRRELEVANT! I'LL RIP IT FROM HIS CABINET, DEVOUR HIS HEART AND DEFECATE HIS SOUL! WHICH TASTES JUSTS LIKE RED BULL...WHICH IS DISGUSTING PEASANT FOOD...WHY AM I STILL SHOUTING THIS?!"

-Jacques Schnee, being a sore loser as per usual

@darksaiyangoku @laserdog10 @the-blue-quetzalcoatl @ezroar @rozanime @phoenixfeather-ms @rueleaf-art @lewdnepvasilias666 @prokitty101 Yep.

[chaoslordjoe]

And now, to curb my recent depression and family issues...Sun and Marrow singing this song to serenade Blake. Kali's jaw is through the table, Ghira and Yang are guzzling booze while Qrow and Willow are serving having just gained the sobriety chips.

And Blake, meanwhile, is blue with shock at two Faunus cuties attempting to serenade her (and failing).

@lewdnepvasilias666 @laserdog10 @kali-tmblr @darksaiyangoku @oddnub @ezroar @rozanime @the-blue-quetzalcoatl @haldidoodh @ironpines @phoenixfeather-ms @canonseeker Behold! The power of late-night boredom!

[klein-isms]

Klein: young master Whitley... that doesn't seem very safe... Whitley holding a toaster, right before he gets in the bathtub: Weiss told me this was the safest bath toy around!

[chaoslordjoe]

Bloodlines AU - Mark’s Mishap. Part 2

Aoi opened the door, making room for Mark. "Here we are, sir. Do you need- -"

The idiot stumbled out. "Great! I'll call you back, send you the Lien for helping me out!" He shuffled into the apothecary clinic leaving a note in Alex's lap.

The note contained his number and bank account number.

Alex slowly turned to her friend. "Think we should stick with him?"

The driver honked his horn in a bit of annoyance, looking in the rear view mirror seeing the flashing lights come on back. "Well, if you've got time, I could use some help explaining to the cops about what was what at that crime scene."

Aoi "You mean how we sped off?"

Driver "If you've got a minute. Give you a discount for the ride, even."

Alex "Sure, least we can do is get em off your back."

Driver "Alright, just wait inside and let me do the talkin' at first." He braced himself for the sirens. But among them included a purple siren. "Ah, crap. That's the Supernat division. They're all about investigating magically-powered folks like you.”

Alex’s cat ears went flat. "Typical, think we should ditch?"

Aoi disagreed. "No. Just let them talk."

Alex unbuckled her seatbelt for a moment. "Yeah, *If* they'll let us talk."

Driver "They're not all bad. They do help out with magical crimes."

One of the Supernat agents, a walrus Faunus, marched on over. His tusks nearly scratched the paint when he knocked on the taxi driver's window. It rolled down as the agent spoke in a toothy voice. "Hello, sir. We got a report of a taxi that cloaked over on 28th and Merlin. Would you happen to be the owner of this vehicle?"

The driver nodded. "Yeah, that was me. I got some passengers with me who were assisting a poor schmuck of a thunder shaman who was having an emergency."

Walrus-man was taking notes. "I see. Is the Magi in your vehicle still present?"

Alex slowly raised her hand.

The agent turned around, giving an affable smile as he greeted her. "Afternoon, Miss. I understand that you gave us quite the chase."

Alex shrugged. "Kinda had no choice, officer. Guy was pretty desperate"

Agent "And what exactly was the nature of this individual's medical emergency?"

Alex hissed through her teeth. "Oh, umm....Performance issues? Specifically with electricity."

Aoi was cringing. "He, ah...Had a bit of an accident when trying to integrate with a generator."

The agent gave a confused frown. His tusks didn't make it entirely clear, but he seemed to understand. "Didn't think we'd get that call today."

Alex "Honestly? Neither did we."

He looked to see his fellow officers behind him before slowly turning back to them. "So, uh, normally I would ask any Magi like her to pay a toll for anything like what she just pulled. But hearing that is just, *whistle* What a shock."

Aoi preyed on Amaterasu herself, hoping that remark had not been an intended pun. "So, is she not in trouble?"

Agent "I gotta take a statement from her, son. Same with your driver, all part of the job. But just go ahead and submit this report, and I'll let you on your way." He clicked a pen and paper, pointing it to the black cat. "Please state your name, date of birth, and affiliation.”

She sighed. “Alex Belladonna, November 1st, 82 AGW…”

-----

By the time the testimony was finished, she, Aoi and Polly had stopped by to get some much-needed lunch at Beetroot's Burger Joint. Alex sipped on her soda, resuming browsing on her Scroll when they sat outside.

Aoi sniffed his cheeseburger with onions and lettuce. Next to him stood Polly on a bird post sipping a Nut Job shake, with peanuts, milk chocolate and caramel swirl.

Alex "Damn. I guess we forgot to tell that dude about any similar electrical mishaps you've had. Uh, not like- -Not like zap-your-cock-off."

Aoi groaned in disgust. "Was an experience nonetheless. Plus, I don't think he needed the full details. Last time my powers went out of control I nearly ended up in a coma."

Alex "Gods damn! How long?"

Aoi "It didn't *happen.* But, I was out for about three days, got my aura sliced for about a week and ended up in crutches for four. Personally, I think that guy ended up easy. Are people misusing magic for their own perversion really THAT common?"

Alex fidgeted with one of her fries. "Not under normal circumstances. But, from what I could read on him, he's clearly a newbie. Especially, if his bae happens to have been high as a kite before all that."

Aoi "I doubt his girlfriend’s even tried magic beforehand"

Alex "Gotta be a half-blood. No old world Magi I've met or read up on would be that ass-backwards."

Aoi "If she needs to get off through magic and is willing to go that far, it's best he just leaves her but that's just my opinion."

"Have I mentioned I'm not in the inter-Magi dating department?" Alex asked, sucking down some fries of hers.

Aoi "You've never dated another magic user?"

Alex "Nah. Malcolm’s all I really need." She answered in reference to her zebra Faunus boyfriend.

Aoi grimaced. "I wouldn't imagine using cheats like that with all the drawbacks, no thanks, I’ll rely on my fists.

This time!

The ways of the past we'll get over

We'll climb!

Enligthen- -

Her Scroll rang with the Belladonna insignia on screen. She exchanged a sheepish look with Aoi. "Do you mind if I get that? Fam's calling.”

Aoi "Go ahead." he sipped his drink.

Alex flipped open the Scroll, being greeted by a confused Blake on screen. "Hey, mom."

Blake "I...Got this report of a transfer to your bank account stating that it was for someone else's medical reimbursement. Do you know anything about it?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Lightning pee-pee!"

Alex looked up. "Shut up, Polly." She gritted.

Aoi facepalmed.

Polly "Sparky man junk!"

Alex was downright snarling. "I said shut up, you little maggot!"

-----

Quick Author’s Note: Like anyone with a brain cell, I do not condone animal abuse. With Polly, however, I hope that you will find it absolutely hilarious.

----

"Okay, that's enough!” The Ren pugilist grabbed at the undead bird.

Blake tilted her head, noticing Polly being manhandled and choked on the other side of the screen. "Um...Hello, Aoi. How are things?"

Aoi gave an awkward wave mid-strangle "Just...Great, Mrs. Belladonna, it's a lot to go over."

Alex put Polly on mute, turning to her mother. "Okay, so, me and Aoi were going through the Mage district in downtown, when we came across this shaman who had an accident while...Playing with his powers." She tried to explain.

Blake turned red at the sentence. "Played with as in... *ahem* As in was trying to enhance his performance?"

Alex cringed. "Yyyyyyeah. We had to rush him to an apothecary and he said he'd pay me back, that must be the bill."

Aoi released Polly after giving the parrot a black eye. "It was an interesting afternoon to say the least."

Blake “Did you get this guy’s name?"

Alex nodded. "Mark Fischer."

Blake "Um...Let's just see his number, so we can resolve your run-in with Mister Fischer later." She quickly hung up.

"Anything wrong?" Aoi questioned.

Alex was drumming her fingers on the patio table "I'm just gonna call him real quick, see how things are." She dialed the number revealing a peeled banana and pink mustache as Mark's avatar.

Mark waved on-screen, more upbeat. "Hello! You've reached me, the- -"

"Dude with the lightning crotch." Alex dryly answered.

Mark shrugged. "Something like that. So anyway! I'm just recovering at the clinic, I sent you your paycheck for this little clusterfuck."

Aoi forced a smile. "Very appreciated by the way"

Alex "Did they manage to recover any of your schnoz? Like, at all?"

Mark "Yeah. Most of it, anyway."

Aoi "Good, so your future children are saved"

Mark "HA! I'm gonna have a looooooong talk with my girlfriend, that's for sure. I mean, who gets their kicks off of that, right?"

Aoi was still not amused. "It's something I'd never do. But I'm glad it worked out for you, relatively speaking."

Alex nodded. "Little advice, check the warranty on any sex potions."

Mark "I'll be sure to. Maybe you can show me sometime."

Alex would have to take him up on that. "Mm-hmm. Take care, man."

Mark waved at them, hanging up. “Buh-bye!”

-----

Kept you waiting, huh?

So I’ve kinda-sorta-mostly resolved my scheduling conflict with working from home. If anyone was curious (somehow), it was a lot of depression, lot of burnout, and a lot of working on family crap with being in lockdown.

If anyone is wondering just who Aoi is, he is a friend’s Renora offspring. Me and her have been doing roleplays of our RWBabies crossing over, leading into shenanigans like this shit you just read.

Also, due to time constraints with my work-at-home conditions, my writing format is super-scuffed. Hence why you see everyone’s names appear before their lines like ye olde transcript format. It’s just how me and my friend RP, so please bear with me until I can put out some shorts with my usual grammar.

Until then...Enjoy this insanity. Bye.

@darksaiyangoku @laserdog10 @lewdnepvasilias666