Parenting With Patience & Prayer
🗣️ Battling the Urge to Gossip
One of the biggest things I’ve been struggling with this past year is gossiping. I’ve had to learn how to literally bite my tongue because it’s so easy to give in. It’s so easy to slip. And honestly, the adversary knows exactly how to create scenarios that tempt us into opening our mouths when we shouldn’t. I’m aware of it — painfully aware — and yet the struggle continues.
👩👧 My Journey Into Motherhood
I’ve always been transparent about my journey as a mother. About what I wanted to provide for Ali, and what I was (and wasn’t) willing to do. I grew up in a strict, deeply religious, very “cookie cutter” home. Discipline and punishment were familiar visitors, and I was labeled early on as the difficult, rebellious, or misunderstood child.
It took years — and multiple therapy sessions — to unpack that trauma. I’m still unpacking it.
When I first got pregnant with Ali, I remember telling her father that I was ready to do this with or without his support. And for a long time, that’s exactly how it was. Being a single mother was the hardest thing I’ve ever walked through, but also the most rewarding. I was blessed with community — my parents, my sister, my friends, even school. But the weight still fell on me.
I didn’t always have patience. I didn’t always respond the way I wish I had. And I’ll never forget one moment while living with my ex (not Ali’s father). There was a misunderstanding, and I responded with, “my mother did this to me.” He looked at me and said:
“The goal is to be better than your parents, not to repeat history.”
And that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Sometimes we move through life thinking, this is what I know, so this is what I’ll do. Not realizing that familiarity doesn’t always mean healthy, right, or best.
📚 Learning to Become the Parent I Needed
When Ali was younger, I read every parenting and self-help book I could get my hands on. I wanted to understand children — their behavior, their emotions, their needs. I wanted to understand myself too.
And one of the many reasons I love Jhosef is because of the father he is. I admire his patience. I admire how he stays calm even when he’s caught off guard. I love that we don’t always agree, but when we talk about it, I understand where he’s coming from. I respect that.
👨👩👧 Navigating a Blended Family
Being part of a blended family takes intentionality. It means:
Making decisions that are fairRespecting co-parentsHolding boundariesUnderstanding when to speak and when to stay quietAs much as I want to defend or explain things for others, I’ve had to learn that it’s not always my job.
One thing I appreciate about my partner is how observant he is. He tells me when he disagrees with something I did with my child — and because I can take accountability, I can step back, reflect, and address it later with her in a healthier way. And I can do the same with him. We always remind each other:
“I know this is your child, but if I can offer my two cents…”
Not everyone can handle that.
Not every co-parenting dynamic is healthy.
Not every blended family communicates well.
🧠 Therapy, Triggers & Choosing Long-Term Peace
The message of today’s blog is simple:
Think about how your choices impact your child.
Is it worth the chaos? Is it worth hurting yourself, the other parent, and ultimately your child? Is it worth the years of tension they will carry on their tiny shoulders?
It took time to get to a peaceful place with Ali’s father. Time, effort, maturity, grace, and therapy.
Therapy taught me to understand my anger. To recognize my triggers. To advocate for myself in a healthy way. To break cycles instead of repeating them.
I thank God — and my therapist — every day for that growth.
Psalm 103:13 — A Parent’s Compassion
As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear Him.
