A blurry, far away paparazzi photo of Thor and Tony smooching in civies after a bro night out is misidentified as Tony and Steve. And Thor and Tony are like omg I’m sooo sorry Steve we’ll clear this all up and go public with our fwb situation, and Steve’s like … no. no this is fine let them think that me and Tony are together. Because… uhhh serves them right for invading our privacy and uhh not because I’m hoping oneday it will be true and don’t wanna backtrack haha-wait I mean let’s troll the tabloids as friends!!! wooooo. What if we go on a “”””date””” Tony?? To…troll them…
Thor (who's been trying to get them to fuck for the past, like 8 years): ......Yeah great idea, you should definitely do that......What's the worst thing that could happen? You can piss off the press AND get a nice meal out of it!
Tony (who hates the press even more than he hates being alone with Steve these days): LOL why not? Sounds fun! We can survive a half hour coffee date with each other, right?
Steve (who did not think this through):