Duke: Question, if Bruce like, dies, who gets guardianship of me and Damian?
Tim: Well, it's sort of up to you.
Duke: How?
Tim: You could pick Alfred and he's the safe choice and Damian will probably go with him but if you really wanted to, for fun, you could pick Dick or Jason or me, I guess. We're all over 18.
Duke: OK, for the heck of it, why would I pick any of you?
Tim: Well, Dick is fun, he would probably be chill but he had the potential to become a helicopter parent so there's that. Jason is... Well, at least you won't go hungry, I guess. And me, well, I'm easy going. I'd pick me if I were you. You have a better chance of staying alive.
Duke: Since I've known you, you've killed three cacti.
Characters 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke Damian
Summary 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ You tell them you can’t afford/ pay for something this time because you’re low on money.
Bruce W. ⋆˚࿔
Dinner with Bruce was always something straight out of a luxury magazine private booth, dim lighting, a waiter who probably knew his drink order better than his own children’s birthdays.
The check came, neatly tucked in its little leather folder. You picked it up before he could. “Uh… Bruce, I can’t afford this.”
He didn’t even look up from his glass of wine. “I didn’t ask you to.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes.
“No, I mean like— I can’t pay for dinner tonight.”
Now he looked at you, one eyebrow raised and a million thoughts running through his head. “You’ve never paid for dinner.”
“Yeah, but this time I really can’t, and I wanted to treat you tonight” you frown.
Bruce blinked once, then set his drink down slowly. “You’re joking.”
You bit your lip. “Nope. I’m flat broke.”
“(Y/N), you’ve seen my bank account,” he said dryly. “You could buy this restaurant, burn it down, rebuild it, and I’d still cover it.”
You almost cracked right there, but held firm. “Still, I feel bad.” You looked down picking at your way too expensive chiffon dress.
He sighed, signing the bill anyway. “If this is one of those TikTok pranks the kids started—”
“Maybe…”
Bruce shook his head, amusement flickering in his eyes. “You know, for someone who ‘can’t afford dinner,’ you’re definitely paying for this later.”
Your eyes shot to his and your cheeks went hot. “That sounds like a threat, Mr. Wayne.”
“Promise,” he corrected with a smirk.
Dick G. ⋆˚࿔
You two were finishing up a romantic dinner date when the waitress presented the bill, leaving it on the table with a polite smile. You picked it up and frowned.
“Dick, I can’t afford this.”
His brows furrowed, not really paying attention as he reached for his wallet.
“What do you mean, love?”
“I can’t afford the bill this time — it’s too much.”
He looked up, searching your face to see if you were joking. You held as serious an expression as you could manage.
He shook his head, letting out a low chuckle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, honey. You never take the bill.”
You sucked in your cheeks, fighting a smile. “I do too! But this time it’s too much. Do you mind covering it?”
He huffed, reaching across the table. “Woman, give me that bill.” He snatched the check holder and slid his card inside. “You know better than anyone I rarely let you pay for anything.”
The waitress returned to grab the payment, and you started to protest.
“But—”
“Hush,” he said with a smirk. “And stop playing those TikTok pranks.” Your mouth fell open, of course he knew he was on the internet just as much as you maybe even more.
Jason T. ⋆˚࿔
Your arms were full of books ranging from romance to mystery. You and your boyfriend had decided to go on a book date you’d each pick out titles you liked, read them together, and talk about them afterward. It was something you both genuinely loved doing.
You carefully set all the books on the counter, making sure none fell. Jason placed his beside yours as the cashier began scanning.
“That’ll be $200.58,” the cashier said.
You glanced at Jason, already pulling out his card. “Sorry, I can’t cover the books this time, but I got them next time. Promise.”
Jason gave you a confused side glance, tapped his card anyway, and grabbed the bag off the counter. You walked out of the store hand in hand, waiting for him to say something.
“What was that back there?” he finally asked. “You couldn’t afford the books?”
“I can’t right now. I don’t get paid until Friday, but I’ll cover them next time.”
Now he was really confused. He stopped walking while you kept tugging on his arm. “What do you mean? I always buy the books.”
“I know,” you pouted. “I just wanted to be useful.”
Jason chuckled, shaking his head. “You are useful. You know I don’t mind buying things for you.”
“Why, ‘cause you stole Bruce’s card again?” you teased.
He smirked. “That, and because you actually deserve it.”He pulled you in, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Aww, you’re so stinkin’ sweet,” you said, giggling. “I was just messing with you.”
Tim D. ⋆˚࿔
“Ugh, these bills are so high. I can’t believe this,” you muttered, shaking your head while holding an envelope.
Tim, eyes glued to his computer, raised an eyebrow. “Bills? What bills? I pay your bills, and they’re on autopay. If you’re saying they aren’t paid, that means there’s no money in my account which we both know is a lie.”
You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. Tim was a sweetheart— smart, caring, and genuinely good but sometimes he could be a bit of a bragger without realizing it.
“I can’t afford this month,” you sighed dramatically. “We’re just gonna have to make some budget adjustments if we want to make ends meet.”
His head snapped up instantly. Budget adjustments? Make ends meet? Now you had his full, undivided attention. Tim had never had to succumb to those type of life problems.
He rolled away from his desk and strolled over, snatching the envelope out of your hands. His brows furrowed as he scanned the paper up and down. You bit your lip, fighting back a smile. It was a fake document you’d created thanks to your tech-savvy boyfriend, you’d learned a thing or two about how to make it look real.
After a moment, his confused expression turned amused. He flicked the paper to the floor with a smirk. “Nice try, cutie. But the routing number for my account is one digit off. You almost had me.”
“Damn it!” you groaned, grabbing the fake bill and ripping it in half.
Tim chuckled. “Like I said, you never have to worry about bills with me and you definitely don’t have to worry about me running out of money.”
“I get it, Tim. You’re rich.”He laughed softly, leaning down and cupping your cheeks, making your lips pucker. “And if I’m rich, so are you.”
He left a sloppy kiss on your lips before returning to his computer. A flush crept up your neck, quick and uninvited, as you tried (and failed) to hide your smile.
Duke T. ⋆˚࿔
You and Duke were out grabbing snacks and movies for your weekly chill night. The counter was stacked with everything popcorn, candy, a drink that could double as a bucket.
“That’ll be $73.50,” the cashier said.
Your hands tightened around your purse straps. “Um… Duke, I don’t think I can afford all this.”
He blinked, already halfway through swiping his card. “What?”
“I can’t pay for it this time.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “You’ve literally never paid. Ever.”
“I know, but like, I’m really broke this week what about dinner we planned to get afterwards?”
He paused, squinting at you. “You mean to tell me… the same person who made me buy six different flavors of popcorn is suddenly on a budget?”
You tried to stay serious, lips twitching. “Desperate times, Duke.”
He leaned closer, smirking. “Yeah, desperate for views?”
You broke and started laughing. “Okay, yeah, it’s a prank how’d you know?”
He grinned, shaking his head as he grabbed the bags. “You know, one of these days I’m gonna prank you back.”
“Oh really?” you teased. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Watch me,” he said, nudging you playfully. “But don’t worry I’ll still pay for the snacks and dinner when I do.” He grinned leaving a kiss on your cheek.
Damian W. ⋆˚࿔
You and Damian were running errands when he insisted on stopping by his favorite pet boutique the kind of place where a bag of cat treats costs more than rent. He was in his element, arms full of expensive toys for Titus and Alfred the Cat.
At the register, the cashier scanned everything, “That’ll be $214.89.”
You froze. “Oh… uh, Dami, I can’t afford this right now.”His cut his eyes towards you, confusion flashing across his face. “Excuse me?”
“I’m kinda low on money this week,” you said, looking sheepish. “Maybe we should put some of it back?” You whispered leaning closer.
Damian stared at you like you’d just committed a war crime. “You think I’d allow that?”
“I mean… yeah? I can cover it next time.”
He gave a short, incredulous laugh. “My love, the combined worth of my cufflinks could fund this entire store.” He handed his card to the cashier with a sigh. “Honestly, you say things just to test my blood pressure.”
You bit back a smile. “I just didn’t want you to feel obligated.”
He leaned closer, voice low and teasing. “You are my obligation. And my favorite one, at that.”
Your face went warm, and you tried to look away only for him to narrow his eyes suddenly. “Wait,” he muttered, “Grayson showed you that TikTok trend, didn’t he?”
You broke into laughter, caught red-handed. “Maybe…”
Damian groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Tt. Next time, prank Todd. He deserves it more.”
You looped your arm through his as you walked out with the bags. “Aw, you love me too much to be mad.”
He shot you a side-eye but couldn’t hide the faint smile tugging at his lips. “You’re lucky that’s true.”
I kinda headcannon that Jason will sleep everywhere, except on a bed. He'll only sleep on a bed if he's taking a nap, or being threatened by Alfred to rest when injured.
Even then, it'll be in intervals of 2-3 hours.
He and Tim have a silent agreement of the more comfortable sleeping places, as they both have horrible habits.
Over breakfast, Bruce has heard more than one coversation in line of:
"Hey, I slept in the closet you mentioned last time, at-"
"-at Wayne Tower? Yea, the vent there heats the room up real nice."
"Yea, I found the blanket you left there last, Superboy theme ..really?"
Bruce in collage loved to dress feminly and do his make up and became weirdly good at doing female voices. But because of the batman and other life things he goes though he drops all of this.
Jason: *Burst into the room where the fam is just chilling* Yall I have found a gold mine
Dick: And that this?
Jason: So Roy has given me the greatest gift-
Steph: Removing that stick up your ass
Jason: Fuck off no, he raided Ollies room looking for what ever and found this *Holds up a tape*
*Everyone looks at it curiously*
Jason: This is Bruce in his collage years
Bruce who was sitting on the couch reading the paper minding his own business is now very alert of the whole situation, worried that his son has gotten a hold of a sex tape incrementing photo of him. mean while everyone eager to see what is on the tape
Bruce: Have you seen what's on it? *Starts sweating nervously*
Jason: Not yet, thought we as a family could have some bonding time. And would you out father, the man who want all of us get along really ruin this bonding moment for us
Dick: Yes Bruce, we are having some much needed family time
Damian: I do not believe that seeing Father in collage would warrant bonding time.
Tim: Especially since he's a drop out
Jason: I may not have seen what's on here but Roy has and he told me it was well worth it.
Bruce is getting ready to jump to break the TV as Jason sets up the tape so they can all see what's on the tape
Que a video of Bruce drunkenly dancing on a stage like stripper dressed in the whorish thing known to man with make up that looks as if it was done by a professional. Oliver could be heard cheering Bruce on while Bruce sings to Material Girl.
All the batkids are absolutely shocked by this their eyes glued to the TV.
Tim: *Whiping his mouth after spitting out his coffee now being more awake then he has been in weeks* Damn Bruce I didn't know you where a raging femboy in Collage the hell?!
Dick: Or such a... talented dancer
Bruce is hiding behind his paper trying to avoid the gawking stars of his kids
Steph: More importantly who ever is singing is so talented give more air time to the chick singing Ollie! *Steph yells at the TV like he could hear her*
Bruce: That's me
Jason: I'm sorry what was that Bruce
Bruce: I'm the one singing
Batkids: Huh?!
Steph: WHY HAVE WE NEVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF YOU
Bruce: It's not that important
Dick: Not important Bruce! This is the most important thing. More so did you do that make-up yourself?????
Bruce: Yes
Steph: Do mine! Bruce do my make-up right now or I will commit mass murder
Bruce: I uh Steph that really isn't ness-
Steph grabbing reaching to grab one of Damians swords who is now getting ready to fight Steph
Bruce: Steph stop, alright I'll do your make-up
They all then spend the next few hours letting Bruce do full glam looks on them, while they listen to Madona. Damian even got in on it after pretending he is only doing this because Dick says he gets in on more family bonding time, but he is the one that keeps the look on the longest totally not sending photos to Jon to make him jealous
Summary: In the year that the two of you had been married, Bruce Wayne had never cried in front of you. Until tonight.
Tags: Angst, post Jason’s death & ressurection, Bat mom, mentions of Dick & TimKon, Bat mom loves her sons, Bruce doesn’t know how to express emotions, Bruce needs a hug, this is sad
A/N: If this flops I will never forgive you. (Jk jk but I think it’s one of the better fics i’ve written so hopefully this does well)
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You two had been married a little over a year together.
That was enough time to establish your lives. To establish routine. Part of that routine was the late nights, the early mornings, the cases that never quite came to an end and the galas that seemed to run one after another.
Bruce had a difficult life as both billionaire CEO & the Batman, but you made it just a little bit easier. You made it so it was two people sharing the workload. You made the tasks seem not so daunting. It was one of the many things he admired about you, how you seemed to handle everything with grace and compassion. Always smiling politely yet interfering when needed. You were perfect. You were an adoring mother to his sons, intelligent business partner to his investors, and a sense of calm for him. You always seemed to know just what he needed, always emptying his cup just when it was about to spill over.
He hadn’t cried in front of you before. Not on your wedding day, not when you two had a large fight, not even on the anniversary of his parents death.
You were sure he cried, he had to, everyone did. You figured maybe he did it in private, when the kids were asleep and the lights were low, when everyone was tucked in and dreaming. Maybe then he shed a tear or two in the privacy of his study or the batcave. Because Bruce Wayne was stubborn. He wanted you to be his wife, not his therapist. He was careful to never put too much on you, never let you seem him stumble… until that night.
-
It was a night like any other. It was nearly 3 in the morning. The cave was cold as usual, a slight breeze chilling your bones. You sat on the leather couch of the batcave, wrapped in one of your expensive robes, your silk pajamas underneath, both were a gift from Bruce. Your hair was in a bun at the back of your head, your makeup gone, your slippers on. You waited for Bruce and Damian to return from patrol, your fingers gently tapping the first aid kit you were holding.
You never could sleep without knowing your boys were safe from danger. At the end of each night, you’d send a text to each of your children. Something encouraging, a reminder that they were your sons before heroes.
Sometimes you’d text Dick, tell him that you saw him in Bludhaven on the news. Dick would get excited, ask if you saw him do his ‘Flying Grayson Kick’ on a burglar before sending you a compilation a fan made on YouTube of ‘Nightwings best moments’.
You’d text Tim, asking if he’d be home on Sunday for family dinner, always making sure to extend the invitation to Konnor. Tim would tell you he wouldn’t miss it and that Konnor was excited to join.
But every night without fail, you’d text Jason. The message changed daily because Jason took more effort than your other sons (not that you minded). You never thought of him as a ‘problem child’, just a boy that needed more love. Sometimes you’d remind him to drink water and eat something other than BatBurger, or you’d tell him that you were proud of him. Every week you’d extend an invitation for Sunday family dinner, and every week he’d decline. But you always, always texted him that you loved him, whether it be with a reminder or the invitation, it was always sent. Jason responded the same thing every time “I know ma. Love ya too”. And that alone was a win.
That left you waiting for your last two boys to walk in the door. When the door to the cave opened, you stood, clutching the first aid kit as you silently prayed that they weren’t hurt too badly.
You saw Damian first, he had some bruising on his face and a cut just above his eyebrow.
“What happened?” You asked softly, because no progress was ever made when you were frantic.
“‘M fine. Joker ambushed us.” Damian said stubbornly. His expression holding its typical agitation towards the world.
Your eyes widened slightly at the mention of the Joker. The crazed lunatic had caused irreparable damage to your family and you knew him being free meant nothing good.
Your gaze met Bruce’s, eyebrows raised slightly. Your silent expression conveying the words ‘the Jokers out again?’. Bruce gave a stiff nod, his gaze meeting yours before flicking back to Damian. His expression was unreadable although his jaw was set and his entire body rigid. It was only then you noticed the cuts all over his face, drawing blood in several places. You were sure there were more places where he was bleeding beneath his suit.
“Bruce, go sit” You commanded softly before turning your attention to Damian, “Want me to patch that up?” You asked, gesturing to his bleeding cut. Damian just shook his head, his shoulders square and rigid like his fathers.
“No thank you. I’m going to retire to bed.” He muttered before turning to walk out of the cave.
“There’s fruit and water on your desk if you get hungry, and I'll bring you some pills in case you change your mind.” You called after him, because at the end of the day you were a mother and wanted to make sure Damian was taken care of even if he refused.
He paused, turning to face you “Thank you mother.” Damian said with a nod before exiting into the manor.
You turned with a sigh, making your way over to Bruce who was sitting on the leather couch. He looked angrier now, clearly much more upset now that he had time to think.
“Rough night?” You asked softly, sitting next to him and opening the first aid kit. Bruce just grunted, his eyes fixed on a space farther than you could reach.
You rummaged through the supplies and grabbed isopropyl alcohol and a cotton swab for his cuts.
“Let me clean your cuts.” You said softly moving closer so you could reach his face.
But Bruce, he didn’t move, didn’t nod, didn’t even acknowledge your presence.
“Bruce.” You said again, lowering your medical equipment, because this clearly went deeper than a cut. “What happened?”
He was silent for a moment before speaking. “Joker ambushed us on routine patrol.” He muttered, his tone gruff and low. “We were on the outskirts of Gotham, I was trying to show Damian how to- then he-” Bruce trailed off, dropping his head as he whispered “I looked away for one second and Joker had him. He- he grabbed Damian.” His words were breaking now. Pain, remorse, & regret flooding into his tone.
You placed a hand over his, “Hey, hey baby look at me. It’s okay. He’s safe, you both are.” You said reassuringly.
Bruce just shook his head “I was so.. Angry. Even when Damian was safe I couldn’t stop. And Joker just.. He just kept laughing. Even when he was bleeding and broken, he just kept laughing about Damian, about how he wanted to play with another Robin.”
Bruce lifted his head, meeting your gaze. “Joker had him for maybe 30 seconds. But in that 30 seconds, I just kept thinking about Jason.” Bruce murmured, his tone low and his expression haunted.
“I couldn’t lose another son” He whispered, and that’s when the first tear fell. It ran down his cheek until it mixed with the blood and sweat on his face.
For the first time. You saw Bruce Wayne break
Immediately, you squeezed his hand, your other palm coming to cup his cheek.
More tears ran down his cheeks, he didn’t stop them and neither did you. Bruce didn’t sob, didn’t scream, didn’t yell. Just let the tears run silently as he gripped your hand like it was his lifeline.
And you? You let him. You didn’t feel the silence with ‘it’s okay’ & ‘don’t cry’. Because the truth was, it wasn't okay, and he needed to cry. You didn’t know the last time Bruce felt like he could be vulnerable, but you definitely weren’t about to shut it down now.
Bruce pulled you as close as possible and buried his head in your neck, holding you close. You had one hand in his hair and another running up and down his back. Your support was silent but it was everything that he needed.
You didn’t know how long the two of you sat like that, Gotham’s infamous Dark Knight putty in your arms. But after some time, his breathing slowed and his nervous system regulated. That’s when you spoke, “Damian’s alive, and Jason’s alive. You’re doing the best you can to protect your family. No ones blaming you for that.”
Silence. Then, “Jason does”.
You winced when Bruce said it. Gruff yet full of regret.
Jason and Bruce’s relationship was difficult and strained, and that was putting it lightly.
“Bruce, Jason doesn’t blame you he just- thinks your loyalty lies with Gotham rather than him.” You explained gently. You had too many one-sided conversations with Jason about Bruce and Bruce about Jason. But you knew nothing would ever get solved because they refused to talk to one another.
“My loyalty is with my family.” Bruce whispered
You nodded, rubbing his back. “I know sweetheart, I know. But I think Jason needs to hear that for himself, from you.”
Bruce lifted his head to look at you, “He doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’ve lost him as a son” He whispered, his voice cracking.
Your heart nearly shattered. “Bruce, you will always be his father, just as I will always be his mother. You almost lost him, but you didn’t. He’s alive and for that we should all be grateful. He lives right here in Gotham and he’s always just a phone call away. This isn’t about you and the Joker, this is about you as a father.” You explained, your tone gentle yet just firm enough for Bruce to understand.
He said nothing, because that’s what Bruce always did when he knew he was wrong.
You cupped his face, “Let me clean you up and we’ll find a way to talk to Jason together.” You whispered.
Bruce nodded, putting his trust in you because that’s why he married you. You were every fix to his problems and every answer to his prayers.
*Jason, after watching 40 hours of mlp while babysitting Lian*
Jason, bursting in: okay so I have kin assigned you all to mlp characters
Jason, handing tim the Ugliest Twilight sparkle unicorn toy: you are specifcally unicorn twilight sparkle- you both have the same mental illness going on
Tim:
Jason, handing Dick a definitly not show canon/from mattel pinkie pie toy: you are pinkie pie because youre both bipolar
Jason, also handing Steph a DJ Pon3 toy: give this one to Harper
Steph, really done: because shes a-
Jason: because shes a blue haired liberal
Jason,handing Duke a Apple Jack toy: youre Apple Jack bc she keeps it real
Duke: is this because of the time at Penguins Lounge-
Jason, handing Cass a mint condition Luna toy: Luna
Cass: Thanks
Jason: *nods seriously* (they both watched mlp)
Jason, handing Damian a Spike toy: Spike
Damian: this… is not a pony?
Jason: its a dragon keep up
Damian: that sounds like it should be a compliment but because its *you* this must be an insult of some kind and I will retaliate
Jason: *cackles and also throws a Fluttershy toy at him* okay okay fine damn disney princess
Jason, handing Bruce the most FUCKED UP Celestia toy you have ever seen in your life: Celestia bc you act like you rule the entire country when in reality you do all of jack shit and everyone talks all this shit about how “she was super strong in the past” but keeps getting one shotted by enemies and its up to the main 6 to deal with all the problems bc she offloads them onto everyone else while acting like shes the ruler and-
Bruce: thanks Jaylad…
Jason, proudly holding up a mint condition Sunset Shimmer: And I’m Sunset Shimmer
Cass, pointing at him judgementally: mentally ill.
i keep seeing fake to real relationship fics where Red Robin is sacrificed to the ghost king
and those are great don’t get me wrong, but why is it always Red Robin??
wouldn’t it — hear me out ok — would it not be infinitely funnier if Timothy Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, a son of Gotham’s beloved royal family, social media blue check, was kidnapped and sacrificed instead.
Imagine the panic. The internet catastrophe. The viral posts. The public outcry. Why is the Justice League taking so long to rescue this poor boy??
Then imagine said poor boy finally being rescued. They manage it. They get him back.
And upon his return from what was obviously, no doubt, a traumatizing ordeal of inter dimensional kidnapping, Timothy Drake-Wayne’s first Twitter post is just
“give me back my ghost king boyfriend I miss him : (”
The internet would fucking EXPLODE ok listen, no stop walking away listen to me —
Batman has never actively invited or requested other JL members into his city, so when his non emergency emergency beacon goes off everyone is very confused and very concerned.
They pull the bat up on the screen in a video call. He looks stressed. He admits, reluctantly, that every single one of his kids has been hit with some spell that turned them back to their Robin days and he needs help corralling them because for some reason they’re convinced he’s not the real Batman.
Someone, probably Hal Jordan, laughs it up because seriously? Batman can’t control a couple of kids?
Except that there’s a reason there’s always only one Robin at a time. Because Robin is a menace. When you held the title of Robin, you were young enough and inexperienced enough that Batman’s default ruling was that they could do anything and everything necessary to get back home safely. In other news, every Robin radiated their own special strain of gremlin energy that slowly tapered out as they grew older. It never disappeared, but became more controlled as they stopped growing, settled into their bodies, and gained more intelligence.
Right now, there was a minimum of 5 variant gremlin Robin’s running around Gotham doing god knows what in their search for “the real Batman.”
Jason and Steph will probably be the easiest to find. They’re more likely to pick a fight with a mugger and not be subtle about it.
Dick, Tim, and Damian are the ones that will be difficult. The JL should remember Dick’s ability to vanish in plain sight from the few times they’d watched over young Justice. Blink and he’s gone, his laughter the only evidence he was even there. Damian was an assassin trained in stealth and traffic light colors were not going to make him any easier to see. Tim had been effectively unknowingly stalking them five years before becoming Robin and if Bruce had to guess, he was aged right after returning from his training overseas if the way he still expertly swing his bo staff was anything to go off of.
Duke had been asleep when it all happened and was still effected, but thankfully he’d already been at the manor and Alfred had managed to keep him there.
“Robin’s have a no bars held mentality. They’re feral when cornered. Expect them to bite and scratch. No they don’t have rabies. Yes, Clark, they are all likely armed with a shard of Kryptonite. Yes knock them out if you have to I’m afraid that’s the only way you may be able to catch them, but do not concuss my kids. Now please for the love of god will you please help me before my deaged feral gremlin children accidentally take over the entirety of Gotham’s underground and decide they actually prefer that over being vigilantes.”
Needless to say that it’s a night that will live in infamy for many of the Gotham rogues.
Robin Dick had somehow managed to hold the entire Iceberg lounge hostage and had Penguin tied up in his oversized office chair as he questioned him about bruce’s whereabouts.
Damian had happened upon a exotic animal smuggling ring and had taken them out with extreme prejudice and efficiency. By the time anyone found him he had the loyalty of a small army of animals ready to go to bat for him, which had been an interesting encounter.
Tim had decided that the court of owls…probably wasn’t responsible for Bruces disappearance, but like he had always wanted to take over…he means infiltrate…er…dismantle a cult. Bruce wasn’t around, after all, to stop his fun this time. No he doesn’t need adult supervision he does just fine on his own. Now if you’ll excuse him he’s got half the Gotham upper crust to blackmail. Oh hey! Is that The Riddler?
Jason went about patrol as usual, sweeping through the drug trade in crime alley. If he happened to come across one of scarecrows shadow distilleries (since the guy was def still in Arkham) and burn the place to the ground, well? He’d write that it was a chemical fire. No reason for Bruce to worry about another kid being slightly pyromaniac.
Steph is all over the place. She’s here for a good time and a long time and there’s a trail of chaos that follows where ever she goes.
The next 24 hours is chaos for everyone who answers the call. It’s hard for the JL to wrap their minds around the fact that the little twerps who keep giving them the slip and laughing in their faces are the same bats they regularly work with.
When all the Robin’s are finally gathered (or In Tim’s case, after he walked back into the cave. It’s another month before anyone finds out what all he did) the JL slumps together on the floor and just stares at Batman. Because what the fuck was that?
He does the Batman equivalent to a shrug and explains “now you understand why I always look so tired.”
His Robin’s always had a little to much spite and anger to fit in their child like bodies and they always made sure it was everyone else’s problem. God’s did Bruce love his kids, but one Robin at a time was a must.
