#tw haphephobia

[strawberrus0da]

How to develop a touch phobia

[this-is-phobia-discrimination]

i have the fear of touch and mine is really bad. like i will start panicking if someone bumps into me. and none of my friends (except for one) really believe me on just how bad it is and that i dont hate them i just have the phobia of touch. also another thing that annoys me about having this is that there is nothing on my phobia and when i look up my phobia all i get is an undertale character, which yes, i like the repersentation but i dislike the repersentation when people just.. erase that character's phobia?

This is phobia based discrimination

[icycoldninja]

Can u write the DMC men with a reader with haphephobia? It’s the fear of being touched or touching

The boys always initiate the physical touches but never the reader as she’s always reluctant to even return the gesture by awkwardly patting their back, patting their cheeks weakly and never seems to initiate kisses as it’s always one sided. This saddens them because they thought the reader doesn’t love them but that change when one night before they slip into sleep, she brushes their hair strand as she kisses their forehead

This is the only time she actually initiate some form of physical touches with them so one night, they pretend to go to sleep, waiting for her to do that again before asking her why

Turns out not only she’s painfully awkward and shy to the point the thought of initiating such things makes her feel embarrassed for herself, it’s also because in a large part of her childhood, her parents never initiate physical touches so that feeling feels incredibly foreign to her. It also stems from her low-self esteem; the fact that touches makes her feel overwhelmed and unpleasant because of sensory issues. It also does not help when she got jumped by devils all the time from the back, which can explain why the fastest way to get knocked out, is to suddenly hug her from behind, triggering her PTSD and anxiety

I most certainly can! Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Haphephobic!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante is a big hugger, so he's always trying to touch you in one way or another.

-You hardly ever reciprocating his efforts make him rather sad. Was he doing something wrong? Not doing enough, perhaps?

-He doesn't want to upset you by invading your personal space, but he needs kisses! Why won't you give him kisses?!

-He finds out that your reluctance isn't because of something he's doing, it's because of your past. Those little moments when you play with his hair while he's supposedly asleep mean the world to him now.

-He asks you why you do this eventually; your response turns out to be even darker than he thought. A lack of physical contact in your early years plus low self esteem was a bad combination. Time to fix that.

-He doesn't rush things, but Dante tries to incorporate some form of light contact into everything you do together, stopping if you start to panic. He wants to help you, but he knows to stop when you get overwhelmed.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil has never been a very touchy person, so you being the same came as no surprise to him.

-Still, he does appreciate cuddles every now and then, and was sorely disappointed when you wouldn't initiate them.

-He decided not to bother you about it and just carried on with his life, when one day, when insomnia got ahold of him, he discovered you often played with his hair at night.

-This had to be the only time you ever touched him willingly. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. He let you continue for a few weeks, blissfully ignorant to his secret observations, before finally asking why you hardly ever touched him save for when he was asleep.

-You were a bit taken aback when you learned he knew, but decided to reveal the truth anyway. You had issues with physical contact because you just weren't used to it, and you had several harrowing experiences with demons in the past, so you liked to keep your guard up.

-Vergil understood, and leaves you to your devices because he knows that someday you'll be comfortable enough to touch him on your own.

□ Nero □

-Nero doesn't get why you're so physically closed off, but he knows enough to not bother you.

-Maybe once in a while he'll give you a peck on the cheek or something like that, but not much else since he knows it bothers you.

-At some point, he awakens in the middle of the night, only to find you sweeping strands of hair away from his face. That's adorable, he thinks, as he falls back asleep.

-A little later, he decided to inquire about this apparent habit of yours since it's the only time you ever willingly touch him.

-You reply with a rather blunt statement explaining your haphephobia and where it comes from.

-Concerned for you and sympathetic to your pain, Nero wants you to let him know if you need anything, no matter how silly you might think it is. He won't force you to hug him or anything, always asks before he touches you, and makes sure to comfort you in ways that don't require touches.

● V ●

-V only tries to cuddle and hold you all the time because he wants to show his love for you.

-Your constant refusals make him sad, but if this is what you want, he won't stop you.

-He mopes about it a lot, but tries not to let it show whenever you're around. Griffon tries to cheer him up, but Griffon isn't you. Only you can help him.

-Accidentally waking up at night and discovering you gently pushing his hair away from his supposedly slumbering face made his night. It showed that there was hope after all--that you weren't going to physically isolate yourself forever.

-A few months ago, he decided to ask you why you behaved the way you did. Your response was heartbreakingly tragic, but it made V realize he was being a bit selfish.

-From then on, he no longer moped. You love him with all you are, that much has been proven; your reluctance to hold him is something personal, something you must deal with yourself. He can only guide you along that healing path.

[dia-smthidk]

About the "any question no matter what" post: what's your greatest fear? And I don't mean the casual sort of "I dislike this thing more than any of my other fears." Eg: I'm more afraid of being mauled by a bear than I am being struck by lightning but both are real fears.

I mean the "if I experience this firsthand my heart may stop," kind of greatest fear. The kind that leaves one shaking and their breathing ragged as their brain tries to reset back into safe mode.

Much love, hope you're doing well, and may you never have to actually experience that fear.

[monrohakay]

I’ve kind of noticed that showKaz doesn’t seem as bothered by Jesper being close to him as he does with anyone else. Like in the scene where they’re on the boat and Kaz doesn’t move away when Jesper leans into him, or how Kaz doesn’t pull his hand away immediately when Jesper basically grabs his fingers in the scene before they split up and Kaz gets Milo.

I wonder if it’s a conscious choice either Freddy or the director/writers made, to subtly show how close Kaz and Jesper are. Or if it’s just Freddy forgetting to show Kaz’s touch aversion because he’s so comfortable with Kit, and they left it in. But if it is a conscious decision then why? I thought of a few theories, based on my own personal experiences with having a touch aversion.

1. Kaz doesn’t want to hurt Jesper’s feelings. While Kaz doesn’t really care about anyone else’s (except Inej obviously, but she respects his space so he doesn’t have to worry about her), he does care about Jesper’s. It’s shown that he trusts him and he cares for him and he wants to do what he can to make sure Jesper’s okay. Even if he has a hard time showing it, Jesper is his friend. And I get a vibe from Jesper that if Kaz were to flinch away from him, he would take it personally, even knowing Kaz doesn’t like touch. Because Kaz isn’t ready to tell Jesper his history and so Jesper can’t know what’s going on in Kaz’s head when he does move away. I’ve had friends that I haven’t shared my touch aversion with, and in order to not have to deal with telling them or to not hurt their feelings I will force myself not to react if they touch me. I do this with my Nonna as well, because I know my Nonna will be upset if I move away from her or don’t let her hug me and she won’t understand even if I tell her it makes me uncomfortable. And after those experiences I go home and have panic attacks but in that moment, even knowing the outcome, I still make that choice so as not to upset my Nonna. That could be what Kaz is doing for Jesper, forcing himself not to react so he doesn’t hurt Jesper’s feeling.

2. Jesper is simply his person. My best friend is my person. I still have bad days where I need space and any touch will set me off. But for the most part, my best friend’s touch does not effect me the way someone else’s would. From the day I met her, she touched my arm and I didn’t have that panic bubble up in my stomach. I felt okay, not great or comfortable, but I didn’t want to immediately run away. And now I can hold her hand or cuddle up to her and I feel fine, but I can’t really do that with anyone else. I can’t explain it, it doesn’t make sense, and if I wasn’t living it I wouldn’t believe it was true. I thought I’d never be comfortable with anyone touching me or getting in my space. But then my best friend existed and now I have my person. Jesper could be that for Kaz, could be the one person that somehow just doesn’t effect Kaz’s touch aversion. No logic or reason behind it, that’s just how it is.

3. Jesper reminds Kaz of Jordie. But when Jordie was still alive. So the memory that started his touch aversion isn’t as traumatic when Jesper is around. Because with that memory comes all the good ones too. And so Kaz doesn’t necessarily enjoy Jesper touching him, but he can stand it because it reminds him of a time when Jordie was still alive and he didn’t have a touch aversion. It’s the reason I can handle when my mom hugs me, because it reminds me of a time before my traumatic experience that started my touch aversion. I hold on to a memory of when I was little and my mom hugged me and I cling to it so that I can still hug my mother and not freak out on her. Kaz could be holding on to a memory of Jordie when Jesper leans in to him and he’s enough like Jordie that Kaz can almost pretend.

The third one is the only one I think that explains why Kaz would be more okay with Jesper’s touch than Inej’s. But again, Inej never really gets close enough for us to see how Kaz would react in the show. And bookKaz definitely has a problem with Jesper getting in his personal bubble so I don’t see it as the same thing. In my mind, I like the idea that Jesper is his person. Because everyone with a touch aversion deserves to find their person, especially Kaz.

Props to anyone who actually read all of that lol, hope you enjoyed my midnight brain rambles!

[less-depresso-more-espresso]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

:/

[weaselweaselweasel]

Day one of asking people to not fucking touch me and then getting completely fucking ignored 😀

[cd-head]

Writing hug scenes with haphephobia be like: How do I do this.