#uncle alphard

[peckedpolaris]

it takes regulus 934582394 crushes on boys to realize he's pan but he clocks literally everyone else and sometimes before they clock themselves

uncle alphard to baby regulus: and this is my really really good friend :)

baby regulus: !

baby regulus: uncle alphie i didnt know boys could marry boys

uncle alphard: what? ahahaha no we're just really really--- okay fine. but u cant tell anyone

/

sirius: oh and thats remus

regulus: !!

remus: why is that small child staring me down ?

regulus: r u gonna marry my brother

remus: WHAT

/

but also

regulus, staring at some hufflepuff in his year: i bet his lips would taste nice. huh maybe i really want new chapstick :)

[honeycaksy]

Quick sketch of Alphard Black

[sable-520]

Imagine this is the first time they interacted, and then Sirius invites James to the funeral so it’s a Jegulus meet-awkward instead of a meet-cute. RIP Uncle Alphard thank you for bringing Jegulus together.

I’d make a socmed au but I lose interest in things quick lmaoo. Maybe one day

[the-wizard-star]

hhelp my friend misspelt regulus black as regular black and i cnat stop laughing ab it Like yeah thats regular black and serious black, and their father onion and alfred black Baby crouch jr and bellatwix black Mr jam potter and several snape Dont forget horlicks mckinnon or merry macdonald fuck or even and feelings rosier💔

[starrs-andcrosses]

If Alphard Black has zero fans i DIED

[m1dnightdancer]

i have a hc (in muggle settings) that not only alphard left sirius a shit ton of inheritance but that when he was alive he payed for all of sirius' shit when he got disowned

his rent his clothes his uni everything

like alphard didn't just give his inheritance to sirius bc he was a rebel or smth i think alphard genuinely liked sirius

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

sirius black's hear me outs: fleamont potter, euphemia potter, hephaestus, lyall lupin, the voice that says "divine" on candy crush, peter's mother, uncle alphard, velvet (the texture...), florean fortescue, the bloody baron, the entire concept of titration, cold showers

[hyyl18]

Can you yap about Alphard and Tom please?

YES I CAN BRO I DEFINITLY CAN

5 idiot headcanons i have abt them:

Alphard is taller than Tom and he always jokes about it (Tom hates it, like "that's so stupid Black, I'm not even that short. I'm 1.75m, 1.75m is tall", "haha, tall? Only if it's in the land of the 7 dwarfs tomie hahaha" ).

Alphard loves calling Tom silly nicknames to annoy him (Tomie, Tommy, Tommy boy, shorty, dwarf, princess, baby). Tom always has the same reaction: he pulls him by the collar and kisses him until he's on his knees calling him "my king".

Tom and Alphard are actually quite lonely. They don't have many friends and aren't very extroverted, since they only see people as pawns on a chessboard. That's why when they're together and don't know what to talk about, they just kiss and hug in silence, admiring each other.

Alphard is secretly terrified of insects (rich kid, ugh) and Tom always picks them up and throws them at him to scare him

They love dancing with each other, ever since Alphard taught Tom how to waltz.

In truth, Tom always aspired to wealth. One day he asked Alphard to "teach him how to be rich." Alphard laughed but said yes. And so they began etiquette lessons, dance classes, language lessons, and things that Alphard always found boring to learn, but that he now loves having learned and being able to teach Tom.

Tom is a kleptomaniac and he's always stealing something from Alphard. Alphard enjoys trying to figure out what he stole or catch him red-handed.

They love to play fight. Alphard is there to teach Tom the art of fencing and fighting with delicacy, and Tom loves to teach him the street fighting, the kind he learned at the orphanage.

Tom gave Alphard an old, ugly, dirty road dog to annoy him, but he never expected that Alphard would LOVE the dog and never let it go.

They have some drug problems...

Extra: They are academic rivals. Like they have serious fights because of that.

the two ways I call them:

Alphalord

Starlord

Do you want me to say more? BECAUSE I CAN