i hate what i am, i wish i could know what it is like to be a normal person.
MDNI BLOG
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from China

seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Slovakia
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Croatia

seen from France
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Spain
seen from Spain
seen from Thailand
i hate what i am, i wish i could know what it is like to be a normal person.
MDNI BLOG
idk why u even bothered me in the first place what was the point ?
Blighted by everything I tried to forget.
I watched a video about a commonplace book and why it and a diary are different and it made me realize that I treat my diary for many purposes:
1. Obviously, everyday events. What happened, what I was doing and what I'm planning to do
2. Thoughts and thoughts and feelings coming from number 1
3. Random lists, random headcanons and thoughts about characters
4. Also short or very long rambles about what I have read/watched, etc. And my favorite moments, characters, things that I didn't like, things thatI used to like
Sometimes I write names of the songs that I'm listening atm to remember
The recent note was about Henry Winter and Molchat Doma
it is a diary/commonplace book for me
So I think I am using my diary to vent, to structure my days and thoughts, and also for random stuff. This current diary is almost finished so I think about the next one. What vibe I want it to have and how I will decorate it
Diário de uma ana: ABR - JUL
31.3 - Fiz BC e estabeleci comigo mesmo que eu vou ser persistente e emagrecer, nem que seja 2kg, durante esse mês de abril
Vou assinar o plano caro da academia, dessa forma vou me obrigar a perder medidas o mais rápido possível, para mudar pro plano mais barato
Vou seguir fazendo OMAD e nos dias que tiver mais refeições, vou me forçar a vomitar
- 🌟 - 🌟 -
1 a 15.04 - Estou me exercitando com fitdance, cardio hit ou pilates, pq musculação não rola pra mim, focando em cardio que é bom pra queimar e perder medidas. Estou me exercitando com roupas quentes, pra conseguir suar mais e tirar líquido retido do corpo (na minha cabeça faz sentido)
Estou conseguindo seguir com OMAD e fazer poucas refeições ao longo do dia, sem recorrer a vômitos ou laxs 🙏🏻
Estava fumando pod pra me ajudar, mas decidi parar (pra tentar ser saudável em alguma coisa) e tô com uma crise escrota de abstinência ☹️
- 🌟 - 🌟 -
15.04 - 12.05 - Sinto que caguei no pau e não consegui seguir obedecendo a Ana direito…
Mas eu vou tentar marcar alguns médicos como endócrino e nutri, para tentar me ajudar.
Sigo fazendo pilates pelo menos 1x por semana; vou voltar a fazer esteira + cardio fitdance para conseguir afinar mais fácil. Estou focada nos exercícios!
Tô me achando muito inchada e gorda 😖 no pior tento usar lax uma vez por semana também…
Queria tanto uma balança pra ver a evolução por números 🥲
I’m an awful friend, why do they still talk to me.
Im grateful they do but
Why do they I’m no fun, depressing, and stubborn
But they continue to ask to hang out.
I’m a terrible friend
I’m sorry that I’ve changed.
Did it really happen?was i really abused?
i flip flop between being a very caring person and not giving a shit about anyone and im not sure which is the real me anymore