Terribly Serious

@annedorko on almost every other platform but don’t tell anyone

[indigosfindings]

when tiger met dragon

[indigosfindings]

crouching harry hidden sally

[byjove]

When I got my first debit account (I was 19 and this occurred during COVID, if that adds any additional context), I had no clue what ‘cash back’ meant, I thought it was ‘cash back’ in the loyalty rewards way, I was curious about the ‘DO YOU WANT CASH BACK?’ screen with all the pre-programmed money amounts. Instead of looking it up, I clicked the $20 option at Food Lion one day and I was completely astounded when the cashier pulled a $20 out of the cash register and went to hand it to me. This is the opposite of the natural order of things. The cashier was the same age as me and visibly baked so for a fraction of a second, I was wondering if our wires got crossed somehow. I just stood there for a moment staring at him in confusion while he stared at me in confusion. Then, I took the $20 and gathered up my groceries and left. Luckily, $20 didn’t put me into overdraft. No harm done, just a very embarrassing moment. Anyway, if someone comes into your retail job behaving like it is their first day on earth, it is probably because they feel like it is their first day on earth. We’re all just trying to figure this bullshit out. Amen.

[frogribbit]

i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you

[flameraven]

He’s right.

[owllover2319]

[ID: A panel of the manga Delicious in Dungeon. The character Laios is gesturing with determination towards the reader and yelling “WE’VE BEEN EATING THREE SQUARE MEALS A DAY AND GETTING PLENTY OF SLEEP… AND THAT MAKES US MORE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS THAN YOU ARE!!” End ID]

[chungledown-bimothy]

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

[yesornopolls]

do you have any friends that are 4x your age or more?

Do you have any friends that are 4x your age or more?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 21

[terriblyserious]

Jarring way to remember people under the age of 30 use Tumblr

[fishing-princess]

I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

[leftcosine]

I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know

[humanfist]

I Successfully Overthrew The Demon Lord And Instituted Demon Democracy But They Voted For A Commie So The CIA Not Some Fantasy Equivalent The Actual CIA Who Have Known About Magic And Alternate Realms The Whole Damn Time But Won't Just Unisekai Me Launched A Counter Coup And That's When Things Really Went To Shit

[what-even-is-thiss]

I still like the term parental unit that we used to use as a joke in middle school and high school. Did everyone else do that or was it just a my social circles thing?

Anyways telling the kids to go collect their parental units at the end of an event is a) funny b) gender neutral and c) just refers to the person currently doing your parenting

Also if you’re on joking terms with your parents “greetings, child” “greetings, parental unit” is a top tier greeting. Makes you sound like robot aliens.

[ghostlypawn]

WE’RE BALLPLAYERS, CARSON. WE’RE FAMOUS. EVERYONE WANTS US.

LUPE GARCIA + JESS MCCREADY A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN (2022-)

[punkegg]

u only got one short life so make it as gay as possible lads

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[queerprayers]

house I am staying in for work usually houses a ~christian marriage counselor~ and I flipped through a book and stopped in my tracks. it had not occurred to me, no.

[eatyourpapitas]

it's not a cuck chair it's for our exorcist

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Voting ended onJul 18

[socialmaya]

Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old

[sylestial]

One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century

[tayefeth]

That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.

[antique-scarecrow]

Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years

[downtroddendeity]

I think a lot of this comes from the fact that most people don’t know the formal definition of capitalism. We all know the word, we’ve all seen the jokes, but very few people bother to actually define it unless they’re talking about political theory and philosophy, so it’s easy to end up with the impression that Capitalism = Money Can Be Exchanged For Goods And Services.

Capitalism is the economic system where most of the means of production (i.e. everything people need to have to make the stuff that everyone wants) are owned by private individuals or corporations, who then hire people to provide the labor necessary to produce things, with the intent of selling the output at a profit. It’s the difference between “you’re a carpenter and you make a chair and you sell it” and “you’re Richard Q. Richington who owns a chair factory, and you pay people to sell the chairs you paid other people to make and then all the excess money goes back to you.” There have been Richard Q. Richingtons on and off throughout history, but that being the norm for every single industry is a pretty recent development.

[pocketdogs]

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

[moth-moth-the-magic-moth]

#MyFly

[guineapiggies]

Via cid_dwyer

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine that one day as you're walking on a hot sunny path, your hat jumps off your head and lands into a muddy ditch. And you look at your muddy hat and ask it: "What did you do that for?"

"I don't want to be a burden anymore", your hat answers. "You are always carrying me around, and I can't carry you. That's not fair."

"I don't mind carrying you, little idiot", you tell your hat, "you hardly weight anything at all, and you shelter me from the sun."

"But that's different", your hat protests. "I don't mind the sun scorching on me. That happens anyway. It's literally no trouble for me to shade you too."

"Just the same it's no trouble for me to carry you. But now, because you wanted to stop inconveniencing and bothering me, I am now hatless and you are in the dirt."

[jantesika]

hello Aesop; how's the underworld been?

[homunculus-argument]

Every day I wake up and Hades kicks me in the nuts.

[ozempicofficial]