So, cis women’s entitlement over transmasc bodies. Or, more accurately, cis women’s entitlement over bodies they perceive as being like their own.
Under the cispatriarchy, cis women, particularly cis white women, will often have the role of the enforcer of femininity. You’ll very frequently see this in groups of women and, if you were raised under the assumption that you are a girl, you’ve likely seen it in action yourself, particularly from cis women family members. At some point, your mother decided it was time you learn to shave your pits and legs and made sure you did it. If your girl classmates saw your leg hair, they’d freak out cause that’s soooo gross. If you didn’t wear makeup, they’d either make a huge effort to teach you or they’d make snide remarks about it. If you wanted less feminine clothes, your mom would never buy them for you and since you’re a kid you have to wear the girly clothes she picks for you instead. If she doesn’t, the girls at school will try to “give you a makeover”. Actually, the fact that makeovers are a thing and seen as something exciting to take part in even if the central focus is unwilling should say a lot. Basically, if you’re seen as someone who’s supposed to be a girl and you’re not Performing Girl hard enough, you get harassed until you comply or become a social outcast among women.
If cis women perceive you as One Of Them but Doing It Wrong, they have a sudden need to correct it. This is already weird and a sign of a misogynistic culture. But then we get into the problem of being a trans man in an environment like this.
You want to cut your hair short? “But it’s sooooo much prettier long! Why would you wanna get rid of it?! I’ve been so jealous of your hair, you can’t do this to me!”
You don’t want to wear makeup if you did before? “You don’t have to wear too much, you know, just the basics, come on. You look so much worse now.”
You stop shaving your legs and pits? “Ew, that’s so gross and unsanitary!”
And I haven’t even gotten into medical transitioning.
Which, okay I guess cis women would likely see the idea of taking a body Like Theirs and masculinizing it to be a horror show because they would never want the same thing for themselves. Thing is, out of all the things that are not about them, this is the most not about them. Still, they will make it about themselves.
Cis women who lost the body parts we want removed will take it deeply personally as if we wouldn’t offer to hand you ours without hesitation. Cis mothers will cry and act wounded and victimized over their trans sons getting top surgery. If you go out to a beach with visible top surgery scars, cis women approach you and talk to you like they just caught you self harming for the first time (“oh, sweetie, what have you done to yourself” in That Specific Tone). Cis women in general will say and do anything to make you reconsider your desire to make your body, which they see as Like Theirs, less Like Theirs. As if it’s about them. As if you’re a lost lamb to guide back to the fold. And not just some guy trying to improve your quality of life by getting rid of what’s causing you distress and giving yourself things that make you happier.
And you’d hope after a certain point in transition they’d stop. They’d finally recognize you’re a guy and you want a body that matches You, The Guy. And some do. But some don’t. You’re still a tragedy to them and now a danger to other girls and they’ll overwrite your words and your reality to paint you as such. Because now you’re Once Like Ours. Something corrupted. Not a real man but instead That Which Was Once A Woman, and you carry a corrupting force that they fear will reach them or their daughters. That corrupting force, by the way, is the knowledge that you literally do not have to be a woman if you don’t want to be and there are options. Because once you have that, well, their gender policing doesn’t quite work the same way it used to now. They lost control. And that’s scary. But they didn’t need or deserve it in the first place, now did they?
That got a little dramatized at the end there but I feel I’ve made my point.