You’re Going To Be Amazing

Lisa (They/them). 30s. Oregon. Something, something, clever comment.

[cartethyia-fleurdelys]

Memorial Gardens

[paticmak]

[morgangalaxy43]

You want Venom The Last Dance to be rated R so Venom can eat people I want Venom The Last Dance to be rated R so Venom and Eddie can have sex we are not the same

[empress-of-dark2005]

[crunchy-possum-soup2]

May i add this to your thesis

[brokenaroacecode-deactivated202]

Not to mention

[klenda-v]

The ever-classic

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[libertineangel]

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

[horizon-penblade]

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[findingfeather]

You know, it makes perfect sense that the guy who would amuse himself by going around Twitter as above would also have come up with the skateboarding cousin Throckmorton for a word problem.

Like it totally follows.

[farmerparrae]

love that the 1.6 update has basically told us that the farmer can read at an insane rate. Like that scene in the first episode of doctor who where 9 reads a whole book in a single second. So now I'm just imagining Elliott giving us a copy of the book he spent years writing and we read the entire thing in like 2 seconds and just go "yea it was good"

[elflion]

that the book disappears after they're done flipping through it suggests (to my brain) that the farmer has also eaten it as part of the knowledge-gaining ritual

[puppygirl-hornyposting2]

[infinity-on-hiii]

Nonconsensual Sexless BDSM (Beating The Shit Out Of You In An Alleyway)

[destiel-news-network]

(Source)

[arborealgargoyle]

while we are on the topic of unfortunate denglish marketing: my citys train station has a free parking offer for 20 minutes - you know, enough time to drop someone off, say goodbyes, hugs and kisses, then awkwardly half-running through the crowds to catch your train. bestie. you wont believe what they call it.

do not leave me in suspense?? am i actually supposed to guess-- wait...it's not...

die fast ??

they COULDN'T--

[oarfjsh]

OH DONT MIND IF I -

[arborealgargoyle]

wait WHAT

[oarfjsh]

YOU HEARD EM WE GOT 20 MINUTES

[arborealgargoyle]

*starts frantically taking off my clothes* as an american i had no idea this was how you used public transport but okay you seem to know what you're doin'

[sail-to-live]

Really it’s just a train. Ride it like a normal person.

[anxietyproblem]

[rocktheholygrail]

i’d get so much done if it wasn’t for the overwhelming urge to not do anything

[ur-gay-shark-dad]

join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us

[secondlina]

The Cöuncil Mêêtingh

[kimpossibooty]

if you weren’t on this site when everyone got unreasonably horned up over the Peter Pan actor at Disneyland then you haven’t truly been witness to madness

[infectiouspiss]

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)

[necromancelena]

If you ever find yourself in a horror scenario, remember to blush really hard when the ghost/demon/monster appears. If you do that fast enough you might be able to shift the genre.

[thereignclub-trc]

If you have no other option, you will succeed.

[thereignclub-trc]

"I'll figure it out" is a powerful statement. Yes, you may not know what to do next or where to even begin... but you are ready and willing to do what it takes. You will in fact figure it out.