tell me I'm cute

this is my nsfw 🔞 im here to plant tomatoes and look cute and honestly im kinda worried about these tomatoes ngl. cis men and minors DO NOT INTERACT. this is a gays only blog.

[thedandeliondyke]

Im absolutely green with envy

29 years old, lesbian, a ray of sunshine

Lets talk about poisnous plants

NO CIS MEN OR MINORS YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

[thecursedreality]

I was born on the 3rd of july. And my mom was a single mother of 2 girls. Fireworks happen basically a week before the fourth and you can always find some fireworks event on the 3rd. So when i was little she would take me to the shows and tell me "look dandee! Look at those fireworks! All for you on your special day!" And i genuinely believed they were for me. And i ADORED them. Something that wasnt a hand-me-downs or had to be shared. It was a big show to celebrate me. Then when i was like 8 years old, my school teacher asked us ehat were doing for summer vacation and people mentiond fourth of july plans and i was like???? You mean the 3rd right? And i was getting LOOKS. And my third grade teacher had to gently explain to me that it was in fact America's birthday on the fourth and thats what the fireworks for. Amd i was DISTRAUGHT that i was not the most important 8 year old in america.

I still REALLY love fireworks because i think theres still a little version of myself that thinks: "those are for me :)"

[butchorder]

Butch & Butch Bait, Manchester, 2026

[cahootings]

I redownload this app for one day once every maybe two months and unfortunately I’m rewarded every time

[hellsofhearts02]

just cuz I'm a femme doesn't mean I can't wear anything that encapsulates masculinity btw.

just cuz I wear suits doesn't mean I'm not a femme

just because I dress more masculine sometimes doesn't mean I'm not a femme.

you have comphet problems you need to get over 🫡

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

[sunshinespeaks27]

of course i have a praise kink i was ignored as a child.

[whimsyandwrath]

Of course I have a worship kink. I was made to feel every drop of love or affection was conditional.

[foil-flingza-roller-deactivated]

i think the world is ready to see this one :)

[wholesome-sharks]

sound on SOUND ON

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[holdyourthroat]

some emergency alert operator just gave me a three minute taste of being an indie horror game protagonist jesus fuckin christ

How do I explain to you people that interracial relationships are okay

Not every white person dating a POC is fetishizing. White people can be respectful and responsible when it comes to culture and relationships and not everyone has bad intentions.

Asian people can date Black people without you saying shit like “your kids will be so pretty” they’re not dating for pretty kids. They’re dating bc they like each other.

Someone can dress their partner in clothing from their culture if they want. Someone can take their partner to cultural events if they want.

People in relationships can share cultures, experiences and love without it being toxic or skin deep.

Their partner isn’t culturally appropriating. Their partner is being shown the ultimate form of love, bc their partner trusts them and loves them enough to share their history and heritage.

Yeah, dating someone from your culture is nice bc you automatically have similar experiences. But you’re not limited to dating people with the same experiences. Loving someone is sharing and growing and being together.

Interracial relationships aren’t always toxic, and some of y’all need to stop projecting onto other people.

[spoonoftar]

👆 THIS 👆 👏👏👏

[the-real-gingakid]

Calling ineterracial relationships toxic or fetishizing just seem like anti race mixing or racism with extra steps

[skyhon]

This reminded me of this

[peachfromcmbyn]

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

[dead-boysss]

The what???

[peachfromcmbyn]

The Ikea biphobia couch.

[dead-boysss]

???

[peachfromcmbyn]

I don't know what to tell you man.

[queermystic]

That was the exact thought process

[geckked]

i hope you guys are enjoying pokemon champions as much as i am

[casuallyodd]

[pavlover-boy]

big day for tumblr sexyman enjoyers and weird fags everywhere

[funny-tik-toks]

[sis-slop]

(Piloting a massive scary machine, freaking the fuck out): “umm. Miss Handler.. I don’t know if I can do this.. what if I mess up :(“

(My Sister sitting in the passenger seat of my car, Google Maps open, unamused, sighing): “sweetie I promise I will let you know when the turn comes up.”

(Suddenly drooling all over myself): “um handler I think the stimulants just hit..”

(My Sister, enraged) “tell me you did not take edibles before driving-“

(Sees some white dude in a truck) “ENEMY COMBATANTS!” (Swerves into the other lane)