Sup Losers ~ dandee @thecursedreality - Tumblr Blog

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

grungekitty-77

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

beardedmrbean

this sounds like a party to me

grand-theft-carbohydrates

a-wizard

What do you mean you can’t find a job? Have you looked on Indeed? What about Linkedin? You should try Upwork. How about Rise? Have you tried Jobera? Take a look on Dribbble. You GOTTA be on Jooble, dude. Get on Jooble. Jooble has it for you.

jackabbot

wiigiwaamcore

Wait I have a real version of this

THOSE ARE ALL REAL WEBSITES

donnasweettttttttt

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

kryptonians

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

onion-souls

Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat

sonatine

madlori

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

milf-king

I told my friend today that Kars4kids wasn't a charity for needy children and it blew his mind so I figured you guys would wanna know this too.

Not only is Kars4kids not a charity for needy children, it's actually an organization with deep ties to Israel. Specifically it's linked to Oorah in Israel. If you're unfamiliar with Oorah the only thing you need to know about them is that they'll fund trips to Israel for youth groups/students looking to take a gap year in Israel and contribute to the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians.

K4k sends 60% of the money they receive to Oorah and the rest goes back into marketing. They even spent like $20 million on real estate purchases in Israel.

They just got banned from advertising in California because of how they have mislead donors. Anyway if you didn't know now you know.

stoptheantisemitism

Uhm excuse me what!?!?

cathemeralcoelocanth

And this is their mascot...

stoptheantisemitism

This feels so wrong...

hamptercatapult

wav48k

at the jfk museum. this place is kind of objectively funny as hell i think

wav48k

"i love your earrings" thanks! its where jfk got shot

wav48k

you can . you can hit him. w? In the head.

punkrorschach

dreamquestofunknownkadath

One of my favorite genres of post

dreamquestofunknownkadath

vanilla-kitty

daughter-of-sapph0

maple-syrup-drinker

I have these saved in a folder called "wrong picture, Kronk"

mx-misty-eyed

alinethered

i need everyone reblogging this to know that O'Shea Jr is Ice Cube's son

kakastravakaianapoda

shout out to potc character Bootstrap Bill Turner because if he did not have the galaxy brain idea to hide a cursed piece of gold from a bloodthirsty, vicious, immortal pirate crew by sending it to his defenseless child, non of the movies would have taken place the way they did.

Literally father of all time no further notes no further comments

beemovieerotica

iwilleatyourenglish

i think it's actually really horrifying and detrimental that it's considered socially unacceptable to tell parents when they are making mistakes while raising their kids

iwilleatyourenglish

"don't tell me how to raise my kids" is seen as a good defense and it's so disturbing to me.

children are not your property that you can do whatever you like with.

giving birth or impregnating someone or adopting doesn't give you some inherent wisdom that means you can never fuck up.

and you shouldn't have the right to abuse or neglect or misinform a child just because you have legal guardianship of them.

they deserve to have others speak up on their behalf. i don't care if it hurts your ego.

iwilleatyourenglish

the vast majority of the time, it is all about ego and control btw.

a staggering amount of parents view their children as their property and see advice as someone trying to take away their "deserved" control.

a ton of them are more concerned with being perceived as a good parent over actually being one.

iwilleatyourenglish

fundamentally awful shit like corporal punishment, anti vaxxing, poor homeschooling, parentification, child stars, kids being kicked out of their homes or forced into cults... all of that is possible because:

parents are allowed to have legal and social domain over their children,

parents are seen as suddenly being imbued with innate childrearing knowledge just by virtue of having a child, and

it's socially stigmatized to voice concern over a child that isn't "yours."

so much of the world's suffering is caused by this shit it's crazy.

andhumanslovedstories

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

andhumanslovedstories

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

thomrainierskies

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

zenosanalytic

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

morethanonebraincell

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

crazy-brazilian

>smart sleep beds

americans are just crazy

crazy-brazilian

#thats imsane what #people actually do that?#like living people are co with that?#get a goodamn sleep number with a remote control #you can have a fancy bed withoutnselling your soul to amazon #fuck dude i have a heated mattress pad. does the same job and Jeffery bezos gets 0 info from that #and i dont have to subscribe what the actual fuc

marshemillow

how the heck porn addiction is not real

Because scientists have studied it and they've found insufficient evidence to prove that it's real. It's really quite simple.

the-consistent-anti

There are literally scientists who went into these studies genuinely believing in porn addiction who were eager to study it and its effects who came out no longer believing in it. Why? Because they're good scientists who changed their minds in the face of new evidence.

The key point in studies like this is that they always expect porn-related problems to go up as porn use goes up, and you would expect that because that's how every addiction works from gambling to cigarettes to alcohol to crack cocaine, but what they actually find is that the people with the most distress over their porn use is actually related to how religious they are, not how much porn they're watching. This is significant, because it means people who identify as "porn addicts" are not actually watching more porn than the average person; They just feel worse about it because they think they shouldn't be watching it AT ALL.

I really can't stress this point enough; Are there people whose lives are badly impacted by watching 22 hours of porn a day? Sure, they do exist and they have my sympathy, but the majority of cases of "porn addiction" are completely religiously motivated and have nothing to do with how much porn people are actually watching.

The key takeaway here is that shaming people for their sexuality is harmful. It's bad for people's mental health to make them feel shame over something they have no control over, like how horny they can get. It's wrong to force people to suppress their emotions and make them feel guilty for not harming anyone. As Drew of Genetically Modified Skeptic once said; You can't shame someone out of feeling horny any more than you can shame someone out of feeling hungry.

Christianity often does this as a form of control by selling you the sickness and the cure; We are created sick and commanded to be well.

socialistexan

I've never seen trad wives explained so perfectly. "Non-nude fetish content for sexist men"

emiett

A zine I made as an example for my kids comic class

heller-castiel

my favorite thing about this post is all the people who chose to use the default icon defending themselves in the notes like no stop it just put a picture up