me llamo muy loco

Jay, they/them, thirties. Watch me get embarrassed about my rarepairs and other niche interests.

[thedragonchilde]

Commissions Open!

Okay y'all, I've got a lot of new expenses to juggle, and a private space to create in, so let's get the ball rolling! For examples of my work, I've linked each media type in my price chart to a corresponding art tag. I also have a rudimentary portfolio

Base prices are for up to 2 characters, waist up

For everything but paintings, add $2 per each extra character, $5 for each full body, $5 for simple background, $10 for complex background

I take Paypal, Venmo, Cashapp, Ko-Fi, uhh ask and I'll see what I can do? We can even work out a gift card payment or something

Payment plans can be arranged!

B&W:

Sketches start at $10

Sketchpages and comics add an extra $5 per scene/panel

Plain inked lineart starts at $12

Pencil shaded ink starts at $15

I can also add single color accents upon request

Color:

Base starts at $20, your choice of digital, colored pencil, watercolor marker, alcohol marker, or chalk pastel

Paintings start at $60, more specific quotes available upon request

Will discuss shipping costs for any type if requested

Things I'd especially love to do for you:

- Your OCs, whether original or fandom-based

- Your favorite ships, including rarepairs and polycules and OC/canon

- Friendships

- Queer headcanons

- Characters with flower crowns/borders/bouquets

- Cats the Musical style designs

Things I can give a shot for you:

- Furries? Time spent in furry-adjacent fandoms means I'm more comfortable skewing feline, but I can try others (including in more cartoony styles)!

- Lingerie and tasteful nudes

- Some sex/kink (feel free to ask details - this is a no-judgment zone)

- Fanfic covers or illustrations

- Outfit redesigns, so long as you give me some direction

- Style approximations? I can't promise 100% screen accuracy, but offhand, styles I've imitated include Sailor Moon ('92 anime), Pokémon, DBZ, Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans, The Batman, Powerpuff Girls, Rugrats, Burton (and Burton-adjacent, i.e. animated Beetlejuice), and Disney animal-people (Ducks and Goofs and such) - but feel free to ask about others and we'll see what we can do!

Ways to contact me:

DM me here on tumblr

Discord handle dragonchilde

Email gasolinecancan[at]hotmail.com

[hugsohugs]

one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

[eggwraith]

opens box that reads "i wanna draw again". inside lies a note. the note says, "mental illness and difficult circumstances have taken years of interest, accessibility, and skill away from me. i want to forgive myself for that. i want to heal my relationship to my hobbies. i want to feel connected to something that once made me feel good, but the cyclic discouragement is difficult to overcome." i turn over the note. on the back it reads "wannta drawe sexy bodies awooga"

[eggwraith]

seems like this one really resonated with the artists who dont do art fandom

[maul-of-shame]

I actually recommend everyone write for a rarepair once because it completely changes your relationship with fandom. Engagement stops being numbers and starts being names. You know who's going to show up. You recognize usernames. Someone disappears for a while and then comes back and you're like “OH MY GOD WELCOME HOME.” It's incredibly wholesome. It is also deeply inconvenient when all six of you simultaneously get writer's block-

[quiet-doll]

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

[veggiesforpresident]

honestly one of my favorite things about fanfic is when you can see the canon influences come out in really subtle ways. like a canon line thats mentioned once as a throwaway is suddenly the entire premise for a fic or it influences the characterization or something. its just so cool to see how people weave their ideas around a source material, especially if its not a detail i'd thought about before

[gingertea116]

Multiverse of doomed yaoi

[twirlingfreckles]

I want to go on record and say I really love when fanfic writers self-promote. First of all, my dash is so chaotic that chances are I actually didn’t see your fic the first time you posted about it. If you reblog it a few times at different times of day (or over multiple days!) I’m much more likely to see it! Second of all, even if I did see your post the first time (or even if I’ve seen it multiple times!) if I was busy or not in the mood for that particular kind of fic at the moment, there’s a good chance I haven’t actually read it yet. So the more times you reblog it the more times you are reminding me that hey, I actually did want to read that at some point. It helps me! And I appreciate it! So please, keep self promoting and self-reblogging!

[cygnahime]

Hanahaki disease is a psychosomatic illness. It's a thing that your body does in response to stress over constantly repressing/concealing your feelings in settings with high background magic. It's like you've been ignoring pain for a long time and suddenly your vision starts going dark, because your affected body is just YANKING on random alerts trying to get you to PAY ATTENTION there is a PROBLEM. Yes the flowers do really exist. So do non-magical psychosomatic symptoms. The flowers aren't special.

This does of course open up the trope to options for non-romantic concealed feelings. Which I think is great. There is something viscerally satisfying about the person who seems so outwardly chipper coughing and hacking and spitting up Depression Flowers so now everyone has to know they're hurting. Isn't there?

[striving-artist]

Meph and I played around with alternate editions of Hanahaki, where different repressions/suppressions create different diseases, and they’re all vibing with gothic aesthetic beauty

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Smut Thesaurus [18+/NSFW]

By request of the discord! Here’s the smut thesaurus I’ve been building to help me write. It’s even longer now because I included some extra words from The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic by  QuinnAnderson on AO3. 

How many words are there for “penis” and “thrust” (that aren’t completely cringey)? Here are all the ones I’ve gathered so far 😂

It’s going under the read-more cut because it’s over 1,000 words in bullet-point form so it is loooong. 

EDIT: Here are some additional pointers!

Keep reading

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Can you give pointers on how to write smut properly?

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic is a great resource! I’ll try giving some of my own, too, tho!

#1 Tip: The key to writing smut is be yourself & have fun!

OK, that’s a joke, but it’s true. Write smut that you enjoy. If you are turned on by what you’re writing, it’s good. Smut is tricky because everyone has different preferences. 

For example, some people will hate Dom/sub, while others go out of their way looking for it. Stuff like dubcon, noncon, omorashi, etc. will be more divisive, but even vanilla blowjobs will turn some readers off. So just accept that you can’t please everyone and write for yourself! 

Word Choice

Do you call a penis: a cock? shaft? manhood? member? What about lady parts? Some readers will click that back button the minute they see “pussy,” while others won’t read smut that uses any other term. 

Some word choices are safer than others. Generally speaking, no one enjoys clinical terms like “penis” or “vagina.” And no one objects to “him” or “her” (i.e. “He entered her”). 

If in doubt, the vaguer you are, the less likely it is to turn someone off. I am fond of overusing “warmth” and “heat” for everything (i.e. “He entered her warm depths”). Plus, what is a “heat” anyway? When I write gender-neutral smut, the POV character is always getting their heat or sex stroked, and their entrance penetrated. Vague terms are quite useful! 

Here’s a little “smut thesaurus” I made of terms I use or at least don’t find objectionable. Again, you never know what someone might find cringey, and some of them I consider borderline, but there’s nothing on the list that’s universally seen as bad. Like “orbs” for eyes. 

Filthiness level

Not all porn is as porny as other porn! Take for example, the same blowjob:

She took him in her mouth, bobbing up and down in his lap. 

Or... 

Her lips parted around his thick, veiny cock, tasting the salt of his precum on her tongue. Sliding down his shaft until her nose was buried in his dark hairs and his crown struck the back of her throat, she... etc!! 

If you’re not sure how to start, it’s OK to do lighter smut that doesn’t get quite so explicit! A lot of people prefer smut that’s more focused on the emotions and less on the graphic details. I definitely started out writing cleaner smut.  

Your word choices will also affect the filthiness/tone of a fic. Not everyone wants cocks and cunts everywhere! I’d recommend saving your naughtiest words for your naughtiest, most graphic fics, and fluffier language for fluffier, cleaner fics. 

Inspiration!

If you can’t just churn out sexy scenarios on demand...

Read other smutfics/romance novels. I have a whole “smut thesaurus” google doc that I add to every time I see some phrasing that I like. Do not plagiarize entire sentences word for word. But when I see my favorite author use “laving” I’m like... yes. That is a good word for licking. Let me add that to my list of licking words. 

Fantasize. Not to get TMI but if you’re stuck on a smut scene... you know. Consider getting the ol’ vibrator out. Or have sex with someone if that’s an option. Cuddle a pillow. Stop stressing over the keyboard and just imagine what would feel good. THEN WRITE IT DOWN SUPER QUICK BEFORE YOU FORGET. I’m always taking notes on my phone. 

Porn. Just. Straight-up watch some porn. You’re still responsible for the emotional component, but you’re allowed to steal all of the physical acts from a porn video if you want. 

Don’t forget the emotions!!! 

Character development and a strong emotional basis are what separates smut fic from porn. The physical act of two people mashing their body parts together in different configurations loses its interest after awhile. For me anyway. I need a STORY! 

Why are they having sex? How do they feel about the sex they’re having? Tell me how the sex is an expression of how much they care about each other! Or show me how their sexual connection is what makes them start to fall in love! Show me they’re afraid they’re not good enough, but the way their lover moans their name fills them with such a warm, trembling feeling! Tell me how reassured they are when their partner holds their hand! Or how safe they feel with their solid weight pressing them down into the mattress. Or how wild and arousing it is to be with such a fiendish villain! How powerful it feels to have an arrogant, wealthy man begging for you on his knees! How all your insecurity slips away when you give up all control to a trusted partner. How amazing it feels to be that partner, and be trusted. Slow, comforting “you had a bad day and I’m taking care of you” sex where they comb their fingers through your hair. Awkward first times! 

There are so many different feelings to be explored with sex! 

(Ex. Trope-and-Tales devastated me with a smut scene where the arrogant jerk guy desperately wanted affection and kept trying to have sensual, loving sex, but she was angry at him and wanted rough hate-sex, and it was disappointing for both of them and heartbreaking. I’m still not over it. I’ll never be over it. So, you know. Kudos to what you can convey with sex.)

So really, if you put the emotions front and center, you can’t go wrong. Smut is like any other part of writing... just with more body parts mashing together.

[necromanticsoul]

Go ahead, make your OC the sibling/child/friend/whatever of an important canon character. Ship your OC with a canon character. Its fandom, its posts on social media/fanfic/fan art. Go for it, have fun, make up your own headcanons.

We're all just here to have fun.

[striders]

it’s infuriating when the customer is wrong yes we all know this. however it’s probably 10000x worse when the customer is right, because what do you MEAN my coworker deleted 7 of your fucking accounts off of your profile when you just wanted to edit them and now I have to deal with it??? i can’t even be pissed that you’re being a bitch about it because i would be too!!! fuck!!!!

[seth-whumps]

character will get 10x hotter with the addition of blood btw. bonus points for disheveled hair, untucked clothing, and glazed, feverish eyes.

[kmclaude]

Simple static site template (HTML/CSS/JS) is now available for artist homies looking to make a simple website and be free from social media (or at least less stuck.) All code is commented out and there's a README too: no HTML/CSS knowledge required.

Download the Template ZIP File, Unzip, and go!

Note: If you're using neocities.org to host then you can simply drag and drop all of those files once downloaded and use the in-browser HTML editor to edit your files, make changes, etc. (you'll need to make an account/login first.) However, those files will be live online. If you'd rather work on your own machine first (recommended so it won't be live), download a text editor such as Visual Studio Code or Sublime Text or Notepad++. Don't use Word, Google Docs, default Notepad, etc.

A thorough documentation can be found in the README.md file in the zip folder linked above and all files that need editing are thoroughly commented.

Any features you'd like to see, shoot me an ask and I'll see what I can do. This is my hobby not my job so, you know, caveat and all that

[cytochrome-sea]

pill bottle cap came off. organic free range benzodiazepines frolicking happily in the depths of my backpack

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[whetstonefires]

i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'