I'm Bramble! @thegoofzone - Tumblr Blog

Never Learned - Gator Days

...the alt text?

Pipe sprung a leak in the bathroom the other day and the cat came and bothered me about it and I can't stop thinking about it. She doesn't know what a towel or a mop is but she knew there was an unauthorised fucking Wet and she trusted my ability to rectify the situation

obliviousmelon

headcanon that a ferengi tradition is putting your new baby up for sale at a ridiculous price to show how valuable they are to you (everyone has to be polite and not actually buy them or hands will be thrown, people will be sued, etc etc)

libraflyter

I love the idea of Ferengi traditions that are both ha-ha capitalism but also create a functioning culture that’s more than a metaphor.

thecottageinthedark

datasoong47

So, this is related to a headcanon I have. There's a kind of ritual sale of childhood goods as part of the Ferengi coming-of-age, which was featured in an episode of DS9. The ostensible purpose is to raise capital for the young Ferengi male. But, like, if the Ferengi were approaching this in their usual capitalistic mindset, you wouldn't really get much from what's basically a glorified garage sale

My headcanon is that it is the accepted practice to buy those goods at much higher prices than you would normally pay, serving as a culturally acceptable way of effectively giving financial support

shiroikabocha

Oh I love these, especially because of the spoken and unspoken meta-traditions around the tradition! Maybe they work similarly to the “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing in human marriage ceremonies. Everyone at a human wedding understands you’re not actually supposed to say anything at that point, it’s just a formality—but you see characters do it all the time in literature and entertainment, because it makes for such a juicy plot twist.

I bet “newborn gets purchased by evil jealous ex-business partner” is a classic plot hook in Ferengi soap operas. It’s their version of getting sold to One Direction.

mokeonn

The Princess Bride is such a funny book to read after ONLY seeing the movie. Like Goldman made up a fake author from a fake country and proceeded to write the book as an abridged version of what the fake author wrote... and then he proceeds to add in notes to the "abridged version" mentioning all the boring world building stuff he skipped because it was boring.

Like shout out to William Goldman, man really did make an entire book that is just "the cool scenes you thought of in your head" and then made up a fake author to abridge so he doesn't have to connect them.

And it slaps

thuriweaver

I used to work at a used bookstore, and had a group of three teenage boys come in wanting the "Unabridged Version" of Princess Bride.

They would not believe that it was a narrative device and the unabridged version didn't exist. Said no author would credit someone else for their own writing, that was ridiculous, and was there a guy who knew about fantasy they could talk to?

I grabbed a coworker and left him to deal with it. Heard him explaining the concept of a pen name as I walked away.

horizon-penblade

the unabridged princess bride 🤝goncharov

fictitious works of media that sound very interesting but can never exist in a way that lives up to the expectations built by their nonexistence

memorycycle

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

adding-girls-to-posts

these teenagers and their doggirl are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tina put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

desk-drawerr

By popular demand: He eat a Wawamelon

mousegirlheart

um actually there's nothing wrong with letting cats be outdoor pets. your cat is depressed locked inside forever. it's animal abuse. let it outside. more cats should be let outside more often. especially overnight.

in the UK you gotta worry about Mary The Cat Binner

syekick-powers

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

pirateprincessjess

“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo

I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.

You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….

pirateprincessjess

Yall, I can’t believe that I have to do this, but I am going to say this in as clearly as possible

The anon was very confused.

I have Narcolepsy, which is a sleep disorder. Narcolepsy has nothing to do with Necrophilia. I am not into necrophilia.

pirateprincessjess

I didn’t realize that one said “necropolises.” That’s actually so funny. I think that one must have been a joke

fiendir

pitviperofdoom

I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person

BUT

a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."

beatrice-otter

#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’

tags via chimaerakitten