goodnight dear void

I was trying to describe the kingdom, but the letters kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter's heart, the hunter's mouth, the trees and the trees and the space between the trees, swimming in gold

[saewokhrisz]

senki se menekül

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

[somestorythoughts]

Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?

[spoonicksmaximus]

I was held by gunpoint to make this, I swear

[ieatratsyummy]

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[penrosesun]

[weaselle]

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"

But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.

In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.

They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.

At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.

That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)

[yeomanstuff]

This. All of this.

[6qubed]

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

[swimmingblue]

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

[ladyartemisia28]

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

[aethersea]

Thing wins the case

[amultitudeofyellowrodents]

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

[beardedmrbean]

Tumblr does one thing better than any other site on the internet, and that's collaborative fan fiction.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[weirwoodwed]

“Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again..”

— Sansa Stark & Jon Snow [ comm by lunapiq ]

[funny-tik-toks]

[prokopetz]

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

[prokopetz]

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

[slippyflippers]

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sare11aa11eras]

GRRM is in fact really good at making up top tier characters i will use the starklings to illustrate the point okay you got: 1) high school freshman King Arthur stars in a shakespearean tragedy, as told by his mom; 2) local moody teenaged Starbucks night shift manager must do his very best to stop the zombie apocalypse through the power of friendship; 3) a middle schooler who keeps her sparkly butterfly gel pens in perfect rainbow order at all times is being held hostage by her evil middle school boyfriend and his evil blonde mafia family; 4) a scrappy but poorly-supervised middle-grade book protagonist bops about a war-zone looking for her family but instead! learns about Death; 5) paraplegic fourth grader Frodo Baggins receives mystical visions and must go on a quest to see a hundred-year-old tree guy; and 6) kindergartener that Bites

[yuriwinged]

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

[heydocverdant]

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

[illmoraineakoi]

I love the insinuation that the second the princess realized she was a girl and thus actually a princess, the dragon was there. That thing wasted no time. It heard "princess" and was like "I need no further invitation, here I come."

Gender affirmed by Dragon. Amazing.

[heydocverdant]

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

[rrodenth]

I made this a while ago, i figured fandom people would appreciate it

[robs-your-robins]

I love the idea of Tim clocking Bruce was Batman as a small child but the problem is that he is a small child. Tim at a charity event with his parents and they're passing Bruce and Tim just tugs at Janet's hand snf he's like "Dad, that's Batman" and the Drakes are all, "Oh don't be silly, Timmy."

Then a few years later, Bruce is at a gala and Jack and he are bonding over their kids and Jack has to tell him that his Tim, his silly little boy, thinks that Bruce is Batman. And Bruce is chuckling, like "yo that's crazy" until he looks around and... is that? There's Tim pressed up against a window.

[namura018]

I just had to draw them

[susiephone]

so frustrating to be a skeptic with a sense of whimsy because like. I want there to be cryptids. I want there to be magic. I want there to be evidence of something we don't fully understand and can't explain. but then 99% of the "proof" out there for that stuff is like. the most obvious scam you've ever seen in your life.

[ckret2]

[great-tweets]

This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.

[edwardspoonhands]

This is better than anything I’ve ever made.

[d-c-walker-deactivated20200905]

Post that lives in my head rent free

[great-tweets]

Absolutely THRILLED that this post is making the rounds again.

[pomrania]

I’d never seen this video before, but just from the visuals, I KNEW what the audio was going to be. (If you don’t want to unmute, I can confirm that it’s that song with all the “AAAAAAA, AAAAAA” in it, and the image in the sky of the singer in a cowboy hat.)

[great-tweets]

Oh look, it’s back!

[weirwoodwed]

“I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard's daughter and Lady Catelyn's, the blood of Winterfell.” “You are the blood of Winterfell and a man of the Night's Watch."

— Jon Snow & Sansa Stark [ comm by eikko ]

for Jon Week 2026 [ Day 3 — Parallels ]