What You See Is What You Get @theninjasquid - Tumblr Blog

weirdnessisgood

animalgifdaily

maisonderriere

rubyvroom

this was 20 years ago and nothing’s changed

libertarian--princess-deactivat

Unfortunately

gaycism

Murder at Disney

neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

anarchetypalarchive

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

satan-graffitied-my-soul

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves

tastefullyoffensive

(via sami_grayce)

cuphead-deactivated20220622

this is my favorite video! porky pig says son of a bitch!

sillysurgeon-deactivated23423-d

ILLEGAL!! TAKE THIS VIDEO DOWN!!

odinsblog

This made me smile. I think we sometimes need reminding that there are still some genuinely good people out there.

toastbutteregg

a model

viralfrog

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

antman:

villain: what you gonna do huh? steal my picnic food? lmao lemme get the magnifying glass

spiderman:

villain:

villain: ill just turn myself in,

akutamis

Um actually,

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

I like to call my chickens “beasties” or “fat little monster trucks” and other such affectionate terms, but dad seems to take offence whenever I do and always gently refers to them as “the girls,” “the ladies” and sometimes “the dames” when he’s putting them away, like he’s a butler shepherding a group of well-bred country lasses into the parlour for tea

sekiss-blog1

this post evokes such a pleasing mental image that my depression was completely cured for 5 and a half minutes

slavefarmer-deactivated20140419

cyberho

my type of public transportation

iandsharman

“Why were you late in today?”

“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

sharkchunks

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

wakingfromthewater

“What’s our stop?”

“You’ll get off when I tell you to.”

myshipssank

you people are the most fucking exhausting i swear it

peg-leg-princess-blog

i hate it when people get pretentious about video games. like okay i get that you have this deep love for zelda and skyrim and i respect that but can you not shit on people liking cooking mama or animal crossing and telling them it’s “not a real video game”? people have different tastes bro get over it

overdramaticdaedra

I know I say this a lot but this is the hottest take on anything in the history of ever

xjsteph

c-bassmeow

this is how i want to die

coffeetwosugars

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

actualtrashbag-deactivated20170

holy f uck jane

coffeetwosugars

its a serious question

tinfoil-on-the-windows

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

coffeetwosugars

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

tinfoil-on-the-windows

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

coffeetwosugars

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

generallyhuxurious

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

coffeetwosugars

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

the-negotiator

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

coffeetwosugars

now that u said it im really surprised as well

rainnecassidy

what the fuck did i just read

manynamedshe

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

thewinterotter

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

audsbot

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.

constant-instigator

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

thewinterotter

This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.