#perf

You're in store for a lot of selfies. Good luck.

[trashboat]

i don’t expect this to be very widely known but here in vancouver we’ve had a barge stuck on shore since mid november

we’re going on day 25 of barge simpson not moving a damn inch and i for one hope it never moves

[celepom]

They put up a sign

[hockeylvr42]

WHAT

[captain-naft]

Ever Given fans reading this post like:

[harukami]

I think it’s really important, for non-Vancouverites, that you know some additional layers of the joke to this, because this shit’s got history:

One of our parks has an abstract statue in it of someone reclining.

In Nov 2012, an artist made a sign as a joke, “Dude Chilling Park”, which looked exactly like our official Parks Board signs (except for the official park boards seal). 

The Vancouver Parks Board removed the sign but, after a whole lot of petitions, they put in an official one a year and a half later, also “Dude Chilling Park”, but now with the proper seal attached.

 Fast forward 7 years later. We have horrible floods. A barge washes up on Sunset Beach and gets grounded there. It has yet to be removed.

The Vancouver Parks Board, unprompted, adds a “Barge Chilling Beach” sign.

…Also, they announced this by tweet:

[debelice]

Whale Shark Gliding Through Bioluminiscent Algae _ Mike Nulty

[eurobeatbeetle]

bring out the rotating tiger

[fivehoursofscreaming]

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

[glueskull-deactivated20200809]

i know people complain about the “heavy violence set to an upbeat tune” trope being over done in media but my guy, i eat that shit UP. the utter joy that i experienced watching the iconic coffee shop scene, five taking out all those men set to “istanbul not constantinople” was s t e l l a r

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I also enjoy the “violent action scene pauses while the protagonists escape into an elevator and have to wait awkwardly to elevator music for a bit, before the doors open and violence/action music immediately resumes” trope.

[aqua-harry]

So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…

First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.

Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.

Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).

Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.

It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better. 

Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.

Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.

Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.

Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.

Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded. 

Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.

[sci-fantasy]

No but really, this has been the most complete and informative description of how to fold a fitted sheet I’ve ever seen. Very few that I’ve seen show the “bread and water” step.

[afeelgoodblog]

To avoid deer strikes, Finland is painting deer antlers with reflective paint.

[slowspinningredemption]

damn just pay them a living wage

[mangaluva-deactivated20220930]

Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about how Zuko accidentally spoke against his father and begged for forgiveness, on his knees with tears in his eyes, and got half his face burned off and banished from his home

Then Zuko betrayed his uncle and everything Iroh had ever taught him, begged for forgiveness on his knees with tears in his eyes, and got a hug and complete forgiveness and unconditional love

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[ergolost]

omg

[rat-of-the-sky-on-fire-deactiva]

World heratige post

[between-2-and-20-characters]

ah yes, the original version

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

“when Russia sends you nudes” kills me every time

[talkgentlytome]

Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 

[vvillowenna]

If you thought “hm those styles of art AND speech seem very familiar,” you are right because it is the same person that did these

[the-husbando]

Oh my god damn

[weonsinnombre]

[klaus-laserdisc]

I know I’m the old technology freak but… These new fridges are terrible. Trust me.

I was a tech for a while and serviced them. You’d be lucky to get 3 years without a major failure.

Strong beige box lasts for 20+ years and plus it comes with The Guy

[formerlymaustown]

From

[blueandbluer]

You’re doing amazing, sweetie. 😍

[that1girlarreis]

I laughed so hard I actually have tears in my eyes. Oh my god 😭

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

new favourite hobby, stitching dumb shit onto pretty fabric

[finitetwilight]

You have been warned

[oh-my-fancan]

i was wondering what was wrong with this picture…. then I realized there was no blue filter

[finitetwilight]

can’t believe I forget the tint™

[illbeintheattic]

the signs were everywhere

[tiktokarchive]

[A mashup between ‘In the Hall of the Mountain King’ and ‘Low’ is playing.]

[imyourdreamwife]

They’re like what have we done

[mobpsycho100]

this is probably my most favorite animation cut by my most favorite animator of all time, the legendary shinya ohira and this scene alone is why i consider howl’s moving castle to be one of my most best animated ghibli movies

[thesassyducks]

These ten ducklings were found orphaned and they were brought to a pet duck called Stella who had just hatched nine of her own two weeks prior. She immediately claimed the ten as her own. 

via @thesassyducks​ instagram

(Source)

[kindness-and-sunshine]

she released those babies like a ramen flavour packet

[kelssiel]

love how stella swims over like “oh shit i must’ve misplaced these ten whole babies!”

[azzandra]

Love how the li’l ramen flavor packets swim over like ‘oh shit that must be mom, she’s mom-shaped’

[lurlur]

[flipocrite]

found-family speedrun

[scrubjayspeaks]

New offspring just dropped.

[arabellesicardi]

[meanplastic-deactivated20140215]

me in 70 years

[headrubs]

how many elmos must die

[koriinku]

101 elmos

[typette-deactivated20150825]

cruelmo deville

[gigilefache]

You’re all laughing and you don’t realize that elmo pushed her mother off a bridge!