things just things

Honestly just a blog for me to store my trash servants this is a shitpost blog if you can't tell. it's nothing of substance sorry bout that. Made it as a main blog forever ago and I'm stuck with it, adult though, 23

[orpheusilver]

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

[orpheusilver]

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

[orpheusilver]

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

[straycatj]

でしが　きたみたいよ

Ah, my apprentice comes

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I love telling the story about winning a sumo wrestling contest in college. It was even less plausible than it sounds. Every time I mention it people give me this look like they’re trying to determine if there used to be a lot more of me and then I got really sick. It was just for the martial arts class I was in, so only about forty people, but all but maybe five of us were tall cis dudes. The goal was to make the other person be the first to step outside the ring. I was scrappy enough but I knew I stood no chance.

I thought it would be funny to do a Bugs Bunny thing so at the beginning of my first turn I puffed out my chest and gave my opponent a tough look and acted like I was ready to rumble. He ran at me and at the last moment I just… turned to the side. And he kept going, right out of the ring.

Of course everyone thought it was very funny that this actually worked, we laughed, and I prepared to get walloped in the next round.

But then it worked again.

And again.

I thought for sure everyone who lost to me was doing it for the bit, but then I realized that some of them were genuinely angry and arguing with the instructor, insisting that what I was doing was cheating. Maybe it was, but he didn’t seem to care, so I kept doing it. And I kept winning.

I don’t remember how many guys I vanquished through my repetitive strategy of “smash the dodge button” but I made very little physical contact with any of them and only had to actually wrestle the last guy. I only managed to best him by like snaking around his torso like a python while we grappled until his foot slipped and he stumbled out of the ring. And then I won. And everyone fucking hated me because there was absolutely no reason that should have worked more than once.

[lavenderfoxboy-deactivated20240]

i made this instead of doing the things ive been "forgetting" to do

[lavenderfoxboy-deactivated20240]

glad to see tumblr.com is receiving this well

[redstonedust]

c'est la cucaracha........

[homunculus-argument]

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

[draculasstrawhat]

Yeah, and in both cases it’s generally caused by people who should know better pushing them past what their body/brain can safely do.

No, maybe you wouldn’t have been a genius, or a professional athlete or whatever, but the fact is, without that external pressure, you certainly wouldn’t be 30 and in chronic pain from a torn ligament that never-healed-right, either.

[star-anise]

Utah Phillips to children at the Washington State Young Writers' Conference:

"You are about to be told one more time that you are America’s most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources?! Have you seen a strip mine? Have you seen a clear cut in the forest? Have you seen a polluted river?

"Don’t ever let them call you a valuable natural resource! They’re going to strip mine your soul. They’re going to clear cut your best thoughts for the sake of profit unless you learn to resist, because the profit system follows the path of least resistance and following the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked!"

Well, there was great gnashing of teeth and rending of garments—mine. I was borne to the door screaming epithets over my shoulder. Something to the effect of, "Make a break for it, kids! Flee into the wilderness! The one inside, if you can find it."

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

I bet they're gonna find some random luigi off the street who "fits the description" and try to pass him off

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Addendum to prophecy: And they're not even gonna try real hard

[zanmor]

Using engraved bullets? That fits the MO of the United Health shooter. #hesstilloutthere #ibelieve

[i-love-applin]

Honestly I think they just made that part up. They didn't specify what was actually engraved on it. And no photo evidence of that claim?

How do you even engrave "gender ideology" onto a rifle? Did they give the rifle they/them pronouns?

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Ah yes. The transgender arrows.

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Update: It may be even more stupiderer than any of us could ever have anticipated

[arabbara]

R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit

[gentlerainmorninghush]

A 10-year update to this post:

R.I.P. to the more than 4,500,000 people of Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen, and Syria, who have lost their lives as a result of American occupation.

[vrag-veshtica]

keeping the tags well said op

[longhorned]

“they’re going to use this as an excuse to escalate” mfers im BEGGING you to study history. Open a book. They have a plan. They will either use the inevitable occurrences within a deeply broken society as justification to move forward or, if that doesn’t happen on their timeline, they will create their own justification. Open any right wing thought leader’s writings and you will find they are literally politicking on a platform of extermination of the other. “Never ever retaliate” will not fucking stop them from progressing towards this goal. Tell me how well sitting quietly and holding tight and blaming anyone but the fascists demanding extermination themselves worked for anyone else under fascism

[longhorned]

a dog breeder blocked me for this take

[leolaroot]

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

[ivanoyva]

What. What. What. What.

[leolaroot]

im gonna pop some.tag

[konoko]

[85-rend]

this was missing the incredibly important next picture where she got mad at the camera like its their fault she bit the soap

[byjove]

fuckkkkkkk I forgot 💀

[girlmostlikely]

This is insane

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

[mildlyautisticsuperdetective]

the podcast ‘endless thread’ did an episode on this called ‘catfish for dinner’ where they investigated the origin of the story! tl;dr a tiktoker who posts fake drama stories made it up for clout and it’s based on nothing.

[gorefudge]

[crazycatsiren]

"I don't have a religion therefore you can't either" isn't any less colonialist than "my religion is valid and yours is not", by the way, people.

[ofwings]

Are you single?

do these look like the posting habits of someone experiencing romance

[segamascott]