todaysilencespeaks

stepping out of the silence of shame and building a life worth living

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DBT TIP Skill for Crisis Management

DBT TIP Skill for Crisis Management

Life is challenging and at times are pushed beyond our window of tolerance. When we approach this level, we reach crisis proportions. According to DBT, when one is in crisis, we may lose the ability to effectively use processing skills to cope with the emotions presented before us. This is why it is important to have a crisis skills to turn to. There are many crisis survival skills available.…

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Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD

Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD

I’ve been away from writing for a long time as I continued building my DBT skills to prepare me for my next step in my journey…prolonged exposure therapy. Thank you for continuing to visit the blog. Seeing you here reading and sending questions has kept my faith in my I do this. Prolonged exposure therapy is a therapy to help build the life I want to live. It is the hardest thing I have…

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Do Hard Things

I’m not talking about the The Rebelution….simply doing hard things.  As we get busy with our lives and struggles there are a certain percentage of us that may get a little hung upon doing things that make us uncomfortable.  At first it seems harmless to simple avoid that thing.  If I may stop you in your tracks for a moment, to whatever that thing may be and think if it really serves you.

Fast…

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Breathe & Let Go

I’ve been a little stuck lately. In searching for what I need, I have found I’m doing more reading scripture, intentionally noticing where my thoughts go and sitting with whatever comes up.  I’m also breathing and leaning into the uncomfortable things and not running away.  I’m giving myself permission to be where I am. Giving myself compassion and grace. Picturing as if the words of my self…

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World Kidney Day

Take 5 for Your Kidneys

All Americans can do 5 simple things to protect their kidneys:

1. Get Tested! Ask your doctor for an ACR urine test or a GFR blood test annually if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, are over age 60, or have a family history of kidney failure. Get screened for free through the National Kidney Foundation’s KEEP Healthy program by visiting www.kidney.org.

2. Reduce…

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Eating Disorder Recovery & Relapse Prevention

Eating disorder recovery is a process and is a different journey for everyone.  No matter your age or how long you have been struggling, recovery is possible.  However, your journey will look different.  Know it is possible; throw comparison out the window. No matter what, keep trying.

I have lived with my eating disorder for over thirty years.  I’ve been in recovery for three.  I’m doing much…

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NEDA National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2015

Typically I do not simply repost things, however, this information from NEDA’s Awareness Week is too important not to share.  As someone who has struggled with eating disorders for over 30 years, I understand first hand how devastating and life changing they can be not only to the individual that is struggling but the impacts it has later in life on spouses, children and families.  We need to…

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Rest Your Brain

Giving Your Mind A Break

Life can be complex and demands can leave us drained.  We struggle to process too much information in a day, keep up with frantic schedules and continually try to do it all.  In the midst of it all we add the distraction of television and social media.  We often find ourselves scrolling through our media feeds or watching tv when we should be sleeping.

According to psychologist Maria Konnikova,…

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Finding Joy

Joy is defined as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.

Like rainbows which only make an appearance after a brief summer shower, joy cannot shine through until we have weathered the storm that is in our story to face.

Our stories make up our life’s journey. Trying times require faith, perseverance and resilience. If we keep…

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Permission to Grieve

One of life’s most difficult lessons has been the lesson of impermanence.  All of conditioned existence, without exception, is transient, or in a constant state of flux. The mutability of life, that time passes on, no matter what happens, is an important aspect of impermanence. Everything that comes in to being will in time, go out of being.  It makes life beautiful and heart wrenching.

Every…

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Being Corrected Does Not Need to Equate Humiliation

Being told you are wrong is never easy to hear. We all want to do our best, we want to come across as knowledgeable, helpful and good listeners.  When others are in earshot, it may seem especially important.  Depending on the audience, we may end up feeling somewhat embarrassed or even downright humiliated.

Our friends and loved one’s can unknowingly cause the most damage.  They are more open…

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Change Your Brain; Change Your Mind

Life would be so much easier once we identified we need to make a change to simply do it. While there are those times, however, most of the time, changes are much more deeply rooted.

The Brain Processes Emotions:

The lower braincenters, (amygdala or hypothalamus), were made to detect and respond to threats, for example a car is in our lane of traffic coming at us head-on. This evokes an…

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Let Our Own Light Shine

We are born filled with light and wonder.  As children we conform to the adults we are surrounded by.  With time negative self talk, self-limiting beliefs, fear of failure and shame turn our once big dreaming you-can-do-anything-you-want eyes, to tearful eyes that no longer look up and want to disappear in the shadows.

In an effort to not disappear into the darkness, we need to work and fight…

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Letting Go & Permission to Be

I’m typically pretty hard on myself.  While I’ve worked hard over the last few years to wrangle in my perfectionism, I can still set some pretty high expectations and have some self talk that I would not ever dream of having with anyone else.  It is improved and I acknowledge I have a long way to go.

I was challenged a month ago to consider what it would be like to give myself permission to try…

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Art to Heal

Art has been an important part of my recovery process.  It has allowed me to come out of my shell in so many ways.  It has challenged, shame, fear, perfectionism, just to name a few.  I continue to explore art as a means of healing and am taking it one step further.

I am strongly driven by a need for purpose.  My job, has always been a huge part of my identity. As I continue my healing journey, I…

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PTSD; Very Real for Civilians and Military

Civilians Struggle with PSTD

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

PTSD is often associated with combat veterans and other members of the military.  However, PTSD can affect anyone who experiences a…

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Moving Through Shame

Shame is one of the most destructive emotions I have met.  It has the ability to make our internal commentator turn in to the devil and tear ourselves apart with hurtful words we would never say to another soul.

Shame has the ability to shut us down or show up in ways we may not otherwise recognize as shame.  It emerges in destructive patterns such as addiction, depression, eating disorders,…

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