Are you not entertained?!

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

how many hands you got

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

allow me illustrate you

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

that’s still four people

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

i truly can’t make this any clearer

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

[naomster]

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

[nodaybuttodaytodefygravity]

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

[lailah-tov]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[dankxsinatra]

[cartooncoyote]

Someone actually fucking did the math for this

[kerokerofuntime]

assuming shes average height. her boobs appear to be about 1/3 her torso and average torso of a female being 22.6” her boobs are about 7.5” long. a foot is 12 inches. theyre moving at 5,600ft aka 67200 inches a second. her boobs are flopping 8960 times a second.

[cartooncoyote]

I didn’t think this could get better, but it did.

[chibisokka-blog]

8960 flops per second would result in the shockwaves from her breasts emitting an 8960 Hz tone, which is actually a very shrill noise within the range of human hearing. You can enter 8960 into this website to hear an audio sample of what her breast-tone would approximately sound like

[mizardtheacewizard-deactivated2]

YES IT DID GET BETTER

[letshearitfortheuniverse]

Did all of you major in boob math

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: acta cg t at t ag aag gt. aa t at / t a aag t a a g .” a at .” g. a t c. t g at ,t aa c a c. a g t a c. ’t t t c gt tt, t t . c t t ca at ttg a t, c acta a t t ag a ag. ca t t t t t a a a a at at-t aat T GT TT a a at

Closest match: Petasites albus genome assembly, chromosome: 17 Common name: White Butterbur

(image source)

[beardedmrbean]

Sneefin and Snorfin time at the Hertfordshire Zoo

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[dogpuppy]

[kurhanchyk]

[kurhanchyk]

are you okay i noticed you reblogging "a raven with a damaged wing. it can still fly with ease" again

[goth-queen]

[preserving-tiktok]

[curioscurio]

when I tell you I had to do a double take because I thought these were 2 parts of the same whole joke

[politijohn]

Source

Source

Source

[wizardshark]

This post was made 4 days ago. Probably a good time to take another look at these threats

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #34; every time I use the restroom I automatically reach for my phone I left in my jacket pocket back on earth, and my hand goes exactly where I keep my knives on my belt, so I always walk out of the john with a fresh hand wound

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #49: dog came with me but the magic field uplifted her into an anime girl and I'm realizing our personalities just don't click (plus her sitting on my lap is weird now)

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #64: the town blacksmith is an elf named Gay Simpson and I couldnt explain why that made me laugh and now she won't fix my weapons anymore

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #75: my degree in russian lit is useless now

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #83: the four dark lords of this world look almost identical to abba which cant be intentional but when they line up on horseback its so uncanny i cant help but wonder if someones fucking with me

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Shitty things about being isekaied #94: they dont make my meds here and health potions dont do shit for bipolar

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[naamahdarling]

I need to test for black mold or carbon monoxide or something because I HAVE to be hallucinating this. Holy shit.

[enki2]

[warsmithbelashk]

Are we gonna pass on the fire bit at the bottom?

My brain socialist

My heart anarchist

My eyes pacifist

My blood revolutionary

[scarlettohairdye]

My tits: OUT

[thesetwoutes]

I am forcibly removed from the cemetery

[dovewithscales]

I don't need to know anything else about this man to know we would have been great friends. An absolute legend. I wonder if I can find the actual story about that conviction, cause you know there is a story there.

[dovewithscales]

I can and did. He attended a protest against a poll tax, and when he saw a cop choking a protestor and objected, two other cops pinned him to a wall and choked him into unconsciousness. He woke up in jail charged with assault, and one of the cops claimed he'd bitten him on the hand.

The bite mark was proven not to match his teeth, and it's presumed that the cop bit himself to frame Mitchell. But they convicted him anyway despite proof it wasn't his teeth that bit the cop. Ergo, he was convicted of biting a cop with someone else's teeth. The experience led him to a lifetime of activism work and getting a law degree so he could fight injustices like the one he faced.

Alistair Mitchell, 61: Lawyer whose calling was knocked into him at a riot

Private Eye once described Alistair Mitchell as “the only man in British legal history to be convicted of biting a policeman — with someone

[mammorus-maleficarum]

[ID: A post by Kit Whitfield showing a picture of a gravestone with the caption "A tombstone in Bridgnorth, Shropshire, photgraphed by Andy Darby. Note the border inscription."

The gravestone reads:

"Alistair Stephen Fabian Mitchell

13-6-1957

10-2-2019

Barrister of the Middle Temple

My brain socialist

My heart anarchist

My eyes pacifist

My blood revolutionary"

Around the edge of the stone reads: "The only man in British legal history to be convicted of biting a policeman - with someone else's teeth."

There are two smaller words after this inscription that are obscured by flowers on the grave.

/ end ID]

[tsunflowers]

at the vegan restaurant I ate at yesterday with the surprisingly realistic vegan egg they had blackboards covered with spurious pro-vegan information and one of them said "eating one egg is as harmful as smoking five cigarettes" and I'm like this cannot possibly be true. think about this for just one second and you will realize it is not true. do not put this lie in your restaurant even if you are vegan

[tsunflowers]

wait this is huge... do cigarette rights activists know that all their hard work making shocking posters of torn up cigarettes surrounded by dirty rolling papers and baby cigarettes crying as they're being smoked has paid off

[shortvideosandstuff]

[carnahan]

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

[airred]

santa’s creed

[theslickest-deactivated20240718]

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

[lacunadaisies]

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

[clarisimart]

You better watch out

[ajistorpid]

You better watch out

[thequestionablyhuman-deactivate]

You better watch out

[wlwadora-ble]

You better watch out

[wingscanspeak]

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

[nightowlsupreme]

You’re going to get a cavity

[wingscanspeak]

good

[wingscanspeak]

30 min later, not much progress. 

[wingscanspeak]

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

[casualfanboy]

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

[wingscanspeak]

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

[wingscanspeak]

i’d rather be eating anything but this

[wingscanspeak]

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

[wingscanspeak]

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

[wingscanspeak]

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

[butchercat]

‘Tis the season.

[clausy4life-deactivated20190624]

It’s November

[killjoygem]

TO BE JOLLY

[taiscerayne2426]

I’ve tasted Satan’s asshole and it tasted like 3 hours of mint

[wingscanspeak]

Y’all can’t forget this for like one year can you

[imsomeguy1]

fuck no

[sleepinginmygrave]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[willis-watches]

@theshitpostcalligrapher can you do satan’s asshole tasting like mint pls

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh my god this is one of the ANCIENT texts, i remember first seeing post like ten years ago

ink: diamine firestorm