written in my bones

Julija, she/her, 30ties, I write sometimes

[unrealcities]

football rpf rec list: national team edition

The men's football RPF fandom follows an extremely predictable cycle: when it's a World Cup year, things go nuts. New fans come in, dormant accounts reactivate, everyone goes around looking for the guys they see on their screen and get kind of confused that in the great minds of our AO3 writers they are with completely different guys. Most RPF is about club pairings, because these are the people they're with most of the time, but there's something special about the national team. Weeks when years happen, or something like that.

I love a rec list and those have kind of fallen out of vogue, so here's a very short list of my favorite national team-centric fics over the years, for the folks who're interested in the RPFs of World Cups past. Obligatory reminder to keep church and state separated, keep fic out of the public eye, and lock your shit down when you feel like you want to take a turn. Happy reading, welcome to hell!

Calon Onest, Calon Lân by ladytelemachus (LJ, deleted)

Wales: Wayne Hennessey and Aaron Ramsey

This is not a World Cup fic, because Wales have not qualified for a World Cup in forever. This is a fic that is kind of about that, and kind of about language, and kind of about the weight of a nascent national team, and kind of about English colonialism, short and sweet and perfect.

all these things that i've done by @stickmarionette

Argentina (World Cup 2010): Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi

So what if Leo plays within himself sometimes? It doesn't mean that he forgets to pass. He dribbles because he can.

Diego, of all people, should understand. Leo, Diego the manager and the motherland.

If you're new this will sound wild to you, but once upon a time Argentina hated Leo Messi. The federation took forever to call him up. The sports media called him the Catalan and spent half the time judging him for not showing up for his country the way he did for his club, FC Barcelona. Enter the one guy who could possibly get it: Diego Maradona. This fic is the raw nerve of that 4-0 loss to Germany and the desperation of knowing you've got to carve a path and haven't got the time. Little did we know.

Invictus, or, On the Plus Side, You Now Possess the Most Sought-After Phone Number in Spain by synaesthetical (AO3)

Spain (World Cup 2010): Victor Valdes, Pepe Reina, and Iker Casillas

Víctor Valdés is at his first international tournament and a bench player for the first time in years. On most days, he's fine with that. On the days that he has to deal extensively with Pepe Reina's lunacy and Iker Casillas's martyrdom, he wishes he had gone windsurfing instead of to the World Cup.

You have to be kind of insane to want to be a goalkeeper. Fortunately, Spain has no shortage of insane people. Our cast of characters: deadpan sarcastic Victor Valdes, who regularly had panic attacks before games and dropped off the face of the earth the moment he retired; Pepe Reina, official court jester of the 2010 Spain national team; and Iker Casillas, lord, savior, legend, talisman, man who cries a lot. Victor's voice in this is snarky and stinging, Pepe gives better than he gets, and I could read about their team shenanigans forever.

The Secret of Sopwell House by @heyyjulien

England (Euro 2004): Jamie Carragher/Gary Neville

The national team is trying to qualify for the Euros 2004, when the FA suspends Jamie Carragher from the squad under dubious circumstances. They make two crucial mistakes: They forget to tell Jamie before he makes his way to the England training camp. And they underestimate Gary Neville.

And now for something entirely different: Carraville fic in disguise. In real life, Gary Neville attempted to organize a players' strike on behalf of Rio Ferdinand. This is an AU where he does all that for then-club rival and current IRL partner in crime punditry Jamie Carragher. Everyone's voices are pitch-perfect, from our leads to David Beckham's and Sir Alex Ferguson's. The atmosphere really makes this fic: the pressure cooker of the England camp, the period-accurate abuse and homophobia, the *gestures* everything that's going on inside GNev's head.

The Cynics by rainhat (AO3)

Italy (World Cup 1982): Antonio Cabrini/Paolo Rossi

Paolo took a survivalist approach to lying and secrecy. He was good at both, and didn't think a great deal about either. The lie about Antonio was proving hard to keep so far.

Paolo Rossi was theeee failed wonderkid flop striker. Antonio Cabrini, Juventus defender, was so beautiful tabloids called him Italy's boyfriend. I have no idea how to talk about this fic, but literally every single sentence in this fic is perfect. The restraint, the economy of emotion, the quiet tension, the weight. I don't even know.

[beaniegender]

Ok I love a fic rec list as well, I have some fics to add! I love national team insanity! But I didn't have anything actually romantic/sexual either, if someone else still wants to fill in that gap...

Recs in reverse chronological order!

above the albiceleste only sky by @toomoonfic (2,303 words)

Argentina, World Cup 2022: Lionel Messi/Sergio Agüero

"So," Kun says, and turns on the overhead light, watching Leo's face rearrange into something more familiar. "Do you want to play some FIFA?"

Coda to the 2010 World Cup final.

This is the sweetest possible companion to the 2022 final, tracing how Messi and Agüero each got there after many, many trials. I love how their love for each other is so worn-in and comfortable; it also rides the line of shippy and Gen But They're Weird About Each Other that abounds in football in a gorgeous way. I think this one might also give context to why it feels kind of bizarre that Argentina is in the final again lol - Messi in particular and the team as a whole are living past the end of their legends. What do you MEAN they got their perfect, impossible storybook ending and now they're back in the final!

Cloud City by @ferritin4 (4,278 words)

Spain, not grounded in a specific tournament but written in 2015: Iker Casillas, Xavi Hernández, team ensemble

No author summary; this is a little self-contained tale of Spain as detectives in a fantasy/steampunk urban setting trying to stop Jose Mourinho from stealing, like, the essence of magic. It's about how it sucks to work overtime. It's tightly-paced and funny and easily one of the most imaginative things I've read in football fandom! (They made Andrés Iniesta both nonthreatening and creepy as hell, as is correct 😌.)

Play 'til the Curtain's Coming Down by bystie (10,403 words)

Argentina, World Cup 2014: Lionel Messi, team ensemble

Leo just wants to go to sleep and forget about the World Cup final, but he wakes up and realizes he's living in his own personal hell. Groundhog Day AU of the World Cup final.

OH MAN, for a long time, this fic felt like the closest Argentina would get to winning the cup in the current era. It pulls no punches with the frustration and desperation inherent in the premise, making it all the sweeter as Leo starts to figure it out and cope with the time loop. A fic about Leo getting ready to become captain, really. This is the one on this list with the most actual descriptions of the sport, if you're looking for that!

Longest Way Round by @baking-soda (2,894 words)

Spain, Euros 2012: Jesús Navas, Sergio Ramos

Jesús wakes up to Pique's alarm; it's Shakira. Jesús buries his head in his pillow. He doesn't like to shower before breakfast, since he doesn't have to sculpt his hair like Pique does, so he keeps his eyes shut tight, denies the day's here yet. He has a little more time.

Beautiful portrait of the stresses facing Spain as a team and Jesús Navas in particular in 2012, not about the football but rather about grief, anxiety, and mental illness - grounded in Navas's real struggles and the real death of one of his teammates and dear friends. Just a gorgeous portrayal of anxiety in top-level sport and how to manage it. Dashes of nonsense from Pepe Reina and Gerard Piqué to balance it out!

unn wein ein lied by anonymous (9,630 words)

...ok, fine, technically this is Bayern Munich fic but all the characters are German and it's not about club football at all but rather German football as a whole. Set in 2011. Philipp Lahm/Bastian Schweinsteiger

He wanted just this one, unbroken thing, and it held him closer than fear.

Finally a sort of Germany fic for you, Jillian! It's, um, angsty. Digs into homophobia in football in a serious way and explores how players with various different identities and wishes would navigate it. This fic is really skillful at building from real events and quotes while filling in gaps with believable characterizations!

[toomoonfic]

Xaviker crumbs on the broadcast...the ancient texts...

[toomoonfic]

watching videos from the parade and I love how Barca players are simply always on that gay shit. Iconic.

[sexchangedotcom]

thank you for tuning in to faggot fm i’m your dj sexchange.com we've got some hits lined up for you tonight. semen and girlfunkel, joan bi-ez, gay bob dylan and kicking us off as always are the normal beatles

[queer-as-city-folk]

Gay Bob Dylan is Normal Bob Dylan, I think...

[velvetvexations]

Weird Fantasy (1950) #18 written by Al Feldstein and drawn by Joe Orlando, with editor Bill Gaines

[velvetvexations]

So he said it can't be a Black. So I said, "For God's sakes, Judge Murphy, that's the whole point of the Goddamn story!" So he said, "No, it can't be a Black". Bill just called him up and raised the roof, and finally they said, "Well, you gotta take the perspiration off". I had the stars glistening in the perspiration on his Black skin. Bill said, "Fuck you", and he hung up.

Al Feldstein, Tales of Terror: The EC Companion

[iconuk01]

Just to add context for those not aware of the impact of this story.

The reason it was so important for narrative purposes, was that the plot concerns the visit of the Astronaut, in his completely opaque spacesuit, to a planet populated entirely by self-aware robots (originally from Earth) who have built their own society and are petitioning to be allowed to interact with Earth again as equals.

They have a democratic government and free choice of careers etc. as the orange robot serving as guide tells the Astronaut.

The Astronaut notices that there are two different types of robot on this world; the orange ones, who are in charge, gifted access to all information and facilities. and the blue robots, who are seen as more limited in function, have less access to information and resources, and are not allowed positions of power or as wide a choice of employment opportunities. Even transportation is segregated.

The Astronaut investigates further and discovers that the blue and orange robots are actually structurally identical, there is absolutely no difference between their potential or capabilities, and it is only because the orange robots are instructed by their Educator system to consider themselves superior, that the difference exists.

The Astronaut tells the robots they are not ready for re-alignment with Earth, until they come to terms with their own unfairness, and how Earth had had to deal with this issue themselves. When that time comes, the robots will be able to ally with Earth.

Then he leaves in his spaceship, and it's only in that one final panel that we see the Astronaut is black.

Not subtle, nor should it be, but for 1950 this was a breathtakingly powerful statement, perhaps the first of it's kind in the genre.

The black character was not a caricature, or comedy relief, he was a main character in his own right, a human who "simply" was black.

[assortedinsanities]

Ok, but this story is sadly revolutionary even now. That is not just a human who happens to be black, as far as every other character in this story is concerned this is the most important, maybe even the only human they ever see, who happens to be black.

As depressing as that is, but a black person just casually representing the entirety of humanity is a breathtakingly powerfull statement even today, a quarter of a century later.

[about-faces]

[alex51324]

reblogging for Black History Month!

[habsfic]

one word hockey rpf prompt picker wheels

inspired by @theresonly1u prompt meme, I've compiled a list of one word prompts that are geared towards hockey to inspire various interpretations

spin and immediately write a drabble for the first word you get, spin multiple times and write a fic that includes all the prompts, make a wheel of your ships/players and spin that + this wheel, roll a dice and write a drabble with that number x 100 words with whatever word you spun, etc!

complete wheel [sfw + nsfw/kink prompts] sfw wheel [prompts that can be written any way] nsfw/kink wheel [prompts that are kink/sex themed]

the complete wheel has 200 options and these lists may be expanded with more words later on

these wheels were made with short works in mind and obviously can be used for anything, but remember all fanworks are good works regardless of length! don't be afraid to start with a small work for your first time writing or to publish something small!

happy writing (if you're inspired to write habs related fics with this, throw them in our 25-26 season fic collection for everyone to read!)

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tutorial

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning walkthrough

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tips and tricks

[penaltyboxboxbox]

the way some people on this website talk about sports rpf reminds me that many engaging in the hobby dont actually enjoy sports

[senatortedcruz]

Crazy that sports RPF is becoming mainstream now…my culture is not your costume.

[usuratoncat]

[larkandkatydid]

I think that the best and funnest thing about sports rpf is that it is often written about very handsome, physically fit men who have never had a thought in their whole entire lives. He would not fret about his internalized homophobia because all those words have too many syllables. Look at all the talented fujos creating a rich and sexy inner life for men whose actual brains just mutter “gotta go fast!” at them 24 hours a day. Truly great popular art!

[benchwarming]

couldn't leave @yekoc's A+ contribution to languish in the tags

[raisinchallah]

ok enough regular fujoshi media we need to investigate how writing about men fucking is actually proxy sex between women we need a story about two womens increasingly codependent and toxic online friendship built on writing slash fiction together escalating to doing sex roleplay on instant messengers pretending to be their favorite ship to get better at writing so they can really embody the mind of the characters obviously and talking one of the women thru her divorce and their weird emotionally blurred and toxic friendship as the more talented friend keeps leveraging her popularity and control over a major fanfic site in the fandom to keep control over the rapidly deteriorating friendship and they have weird phone sex and one of them realizes they are gay for real and gets a girlfriend whos jealous of how much time shes spending online and the friendship eventually explodes and one of them goes on to get published and the other woman shows up at her book signing and its the first time they have ever seen each other face to face but only one of them knows who the other is

[pitchburgh]

what's your favorite "secret" ingredient

soy sauce

broth subbed for water

squeeze of fresh lemon or lime juice

a variety of vinegar

miso paste

bullion powder (or those ramen seasoning packets lol)

sssssmoked paprika

something pickled (relish, pickled onion, ???)

nutritional yeast (nutritional yeet)

fresh-grated parmesan

doubling the butter/salt/garlic/whatever

super secret something else 👀

Voting ended onDec 8, 2025

e: oops thats supposed to say "any of a variety of vinegars." i don't think most people are dumping a bunch of different vinegar into their food probably

[probuccalfat]

what’s your favourite apple?

fuji

honeycrisp

gala

envy

cosmic crisp

granny smith

pink lady

golden delicious

mcintosh

jazz

red delicious

other

Voting ended onNov 29, 2025

[probuccalfat]

i underestimated the power of honeycrisp…

[aevios]

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

[aevios]

"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.

[oakenroots]

Problem is when the ADHD catalogue is out of date, when you go to check under the couch cushion for that paperclip and it ISNT there, sometimes your brain will just give you a montage of false memories of everywhere you've ever seen a paper clip, like this

[aniseandspearmint]

yeah yeah the paperclip montage, we've all seen it

[algorithmist]

although I find both institutions detestable I think they should force the vatican to compete in the Olympics. let's see what those priests can do

[werewolfmack]

This would be such a good manga series.

[3liza]

one thing everyone who is struggling with cooking for themselves needs to know is that the shittiest rice cooker, like the ones that cost $5 at rite aid, can make entire meals. you can put anything you want (except uncooked meats that need prolonged temperatures to be safe to eat) in with the rice and push the button and go lie down for 20 minutes. you will learn through making slightly over or undercooked rice a few times how you need to adjust the liquid:rice ratios. you can put rice, a bag of baby carrots, whatever salt and spices, and a can of tuna (or a can of shredded chicken, beef, etc, or tofu, or canned beans, or canned tomatoes) in a rice cooker and it will be completely edible in ~20min. it costs like $1 per batch, less if you get regular carrots and cut them into chunks yourself. you should have frozen spinach and peas and corn in your freezer, or whatever frozen veg is safe for your food allergies. this kind of meal can survive in the fridge for a while and the freezer even longer. if you make it badly it wont poison you and can be salvaged with hot sauce, if you make it disastrously it can be thrown away without losing more than a dollar or two. if you make it okay it fullfills the Just Need Some Real Food requirements completely. if you need more calories you can add butter or oil, or eat sour cream on the side. if you forget about the rice cooker or fall asleep it will dry out on the bottom but wont burn. they should teach you this in 5th grade