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ellievsbear
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER
styofa doing anything
$LAYYYTER

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NASA
hello vonnie

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du

JVL
cherry valley forever
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines
Jules of Nature
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@totired-forthis
That’s just her bare bones, this is the full river and it’s tributaries.
Isn’t she gorgeous. Literally the veins of life. Love her. Appreciate her.
And here are the pipelines in the area :)
The blue color explains the interstate pipelines and the red color explains the intrastate pipelines of the United state.
Now here is Mississippi again but this time I overlayed it on that map of the pipelines that cross it. And you know, threaten it, the ecosystems that rely on it, and 80% of humans in the USA who source their water from it.
You can show your respect by fighting pipelines and demanding cleaner energy
okay, reblog this version instead
"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."
I apologize.
insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it
This one?
Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.
I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"
Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post
Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again
Art
How. Interesting
Absolute bog standard post
democrats (and liz cheney) begging for george w bush's endorsement and acting like his "silence" in not endorsing kamala is the worst most indefensible thing he's ever done in his entire life………… god you really can just kill 4 million people in the middle east and american liberals will simply not hold that against you at all
hm. well.
My sister and I were watching Lost but not paying a ton of attention and then suddenly the TV is like "Okay so we're going to have to remove two inches from the width of the island" and we both like snap our heads up like woah we were literally just dealing with a time travel problem why do we need to make the island a little smaller now? But it turns out the dog had laid down on the remote and turned it to Property Brothers so like bad news for whoever's kitchen they're designing but good news i guess for the Lost people for not having to shrink the island
Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?
Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”
—
Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?
Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?
—
Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?
Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.
—
Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?
Duke Thomas: Am I what?
Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?
Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.
—
Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?
Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.
Whenever I do worldbuilding I try to keep this image in mind
i hate this fucking site so much *clicks reblog*
Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
Ah, the Mary Suez.
hundreds of years of language evolution and innumerable events had to line up in the exact right order for that pun to make sense.
Sometimes a creative outlet is a fun little hobby and sometimes it's a lifelong affliction. Like I crochet because making little woven animals sparks joy and I'm a writer whether I like it or not because I'm tormented by visions
Me crocheting: I made a duck ! ^_^
Me writing: pacing around talking to myself compelled by forces beyond my comprehension
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line
second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all
third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below
fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?
fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves
sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it
seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him
eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night
ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him
tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk
eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important
twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go
thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme
fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader
fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that
sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why
I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.
Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!
Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.
I haven't actively used this site in years but this grabbed my imagination so thoroughly I had to draw it
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
health and safety section of barista training had a question about dealing with pests, one of the multiple choice answers to which was "call the police", which immediately reawakened the memory of "no way i'm not gonna narc on my buddy" in me like a sleeper agent activation phrase
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
鬼神 Kill Em All 1989
I am useless photographic memory man
410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS
Literal definition of spyware:
Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡
KillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKill
[ID: a screenshot showing instructions on how to remove the Windows Recall & Snapshots]
"Some good news. 1, it’s being slow rolled out at the moment. 2, it’s reportedly really easy to turn off.
Click the Windows button on your keyboard
Open the Settings app and go to Privacy & Security > Recall & Snapshots
Disable the Save Snapshots option
If you already have snapshots taken, you can delete them by clicking the Delete Snapshots
That's because this is Silmarillion
can you imagine how pissed luke would be if he learned that yoda used to do thousands of space samurai super backflips and chose to teach him how to fight in a boring way instead
wow luke your moves suck who taught you them.the goblin?
vader thought luke knew he was going easy on him because they were waving their swords around carefully instead of doing insane flips across chasms and moving vehicles. they thought they were on the same page. huge surprise when he refused to join him because it all seemed really friendly
vader in his final moments sinking into despair as he realises his son actually kind of just sucks at swords and it's all the little frog guy's fault
Yoda purposefully trained him wrong to get back at anakin. "Your family sucks and made sure of it I did. Killed all my friends, you should not have."
Kung Pow (2002)
the past is dead the future died before it could be born and me i feel also not so good