*sits in a pan with olive oil and carmelizes*
No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
almost home
Peter Solarz

★
Xuebing Du
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola

ellievsbear
Not today Justin

Andulka
🪼

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Product Placement
d e v o n
seen from Austria
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from Poland
seen from Ireland

seen from Ireland
seen from United States
seen from Belarus

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
@upper-casey
*sits in a pan with olive oil and carmelizes*
dark hozier take me to hell
Chaotic neutral hozier take me to lunch
yesterday i was taking a guest’s order and they were staring at the menu and the question they asked stunned me into silence and has been burned into my brain for life and i will present it to you verbatim today. they looked at the menu and turned to me and asked “so like, the more we get, the more expensive it is? is that how it works?”
POLICE CHECKPOINT OSWEGO, NY 8/30/19 7:40 PM
There is a police checkpoint where they’re “checking sobriety” for everyone going in or out of the city on Route 481. Border Patrol is there.
If you are undocumented, avoid this area and stay inside.
Averaged Faces of Members of the 116th United States Congress
It’s him, Gerry Mandering
fun facts
amazon has bought cloud photo apps, shut them down, and then used the photos on them as training data sets for facial recognition
amazon also has Ring, the cloud-connected doorbell security camera, and has partnered with local police departments to sell more Ring doorbells and give Ring footage to police without warrants or homeowner consent
and considering the fact that Ring’s terms of service basically say amazon can do whatever the fuck they want with any of your Ring data, they’re almost definitely using it for making their facial recognition software better
they’re also selling the facial recognition software for super cheap and make it super easy to use on AWS so like. lol. welcome to mass surveillance hell. walking up to someone’s door might put you in an amazon database. isn’t that great?
why are we here? just to suffer? every 5 minutes i have to clean my glasses
i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
Actual conversation I had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”
“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”
“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”
“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”
*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”
“Taste means nothing to me.”
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”
My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”
“How many can I add?”
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”
“One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring.
The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
“Yeah, I had one like that.”
vibe test came back negative :(
6/10 post. The joke hits but it’s not that funny.
what the fuck
Anemone runs from starfish
none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?
this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service
follow @the-future-now
wow!
disabled women of color are capable and deserve to be recognized and respected
If you don’t have actual wings to escape Crete with your son, home-made is fine
No It Isn’t
tired of being called the "smart one" just because im smart and cool and my brain meat is huge
Positive net worth? That’s higher than I expected
So I just read this article about how people end up fucking up whatever task they’re doing when they feel like they’re being watched. Scientists have discovered that the sense of being observed actually SHUTS OFF a part of the brain, the inferior parietal cortex.
Given the fact that women are constantly watched in our society, and we are constantly REMINDED that we are being watched by people making fun of fat, “ugly”, or gender-nonconforming women, it makes me wonder how many women have messed up important tasks or projects or just day-to-day activities because A PART OF OUR BRAIN is permanently being deactivated?
Like talk about a fucking handicap.
Women are constantly held under the microscope- whether we are attractive or unattractive, the gaze of patriarchy never ends.
Just last week I was walking my dog and bent over to literally pick up poop. Suddenly I heard whistling and looked up cause I knew I was the only person around. Sure enough, about 300 feet away, some construction worker was perched on top of a building, grinning at me and calling out stuff I luckily couldn’t hear because he was so goddamn far away.
I wonder what it does to women to have this constant source of stress hanging over us, each and every day, knowing we are being scrutinized and examined no matter what we’re doing. I wonder how many more accomplishments, life-changing discoveries, inventions, etc would have been achieved by women if we didn’t have this constant brain-handicap imposed on us by men.
This feeling of being watched extends even when we’re alone and affects our abilities- here’s a study where women took a math test while in a bathing suit and performed significantly worse than women fully dressed, even though all the women were alone when taking the test. The men in bathing suits and the men fully-dressed had no significant difference in performance. It is a major fucking handicap.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247434408_That_swimsuit_becomes_you_Sex_differences_in_self-objectification_restrained_eating_and_math_performance_Correction_to_Fredrickson_et_al_1998
(I don’t remember how to make a cleaner link on my phone, sorry)
This is AMAZING. It never occurred to me that “Observing a thing changes that thing” includes the eye of the male gaze.