WholesomeBadass.com

[wholesomebadass]

Please be patient with me;  God is not yet finished with me.  Other people might be “unfinished” too. 👈🏿This is from my meeting yesterday.  I am a spiritual and unreligious person, #recoveringfromhiddenabuse #odaat together with others who are ready to connect openly on matters which historically and universally are intended to remain under the rug and unaddressed.  With holidays approaching, it feels important to share share share and know that if just one lonely, sad, scared, banished, estranged, scapegoated, #blacksheep finds their story in yours, you have helped them.  I share to heal myself and to be of service to those who are not yet ready.  My recovery began by hearing others say what I could not.  By hearing #metoo and #itgetsbetter and #youarenotalone and #thestruggleis real  ALL OF THAT.  As the holidays kick up the dust and bring up historical pain for things that happened but were never adddressed over 40 years, I am praying—-only for help with my thinking…to be patient with myself and to practice good #selfcare #selflove #healthyboundaries  all of which get labbelled as withholding, punitive and unforgiving, by those who want #silence and reverence and access to do only as they like.  For the holidays #shareyourstory and #sayno to NON-LOVE #breakthecycle #healingismessy

[wholesomebadass]

Adapted from @r.h.sin “I’m not sorry for wanting what I deserve  And I’m not afraid to walk away to find it.” We all deserve #kindness and nurturing. Especially during the holidays. #Begoodtoyou #donotsettle #gowheretheloveis #rhsin #narcawareness #narcissisticabuse #narcrecovery #narcissiticpersonalitydisorder #recovery #compassion #isolation #holidayblues #youarenotalone #nocontact #scapegoat #blacksheep #gaslighting #triangulation #mindfulparenting #awakenedfamily #breakthecycle #walkaway #lovewarrior

[wholesomebadass]

Totally this. Thanks. No #eggshells this holiday season. I will pass. #nahimgood #sayno #breakthecycle #speaktruth #beyou #beyourself #relax #gowheretheloveis #happyholidays #boundaries #bekind #bebrave #becourageous #courage #kindness #havecourage #kindnessmatters #expand #selfcare #selflove #wisdom #recovery #selfworth #selfesteem #letitgo #unapologeticallyme #risingstrong #bravingthewilderness

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost @alyceoneword (@get_repost) ・・・ 😳😳😳😳 I just don’t always have what it takes to not lose my shit at my sweet children whom I believe to be perfect, exactly as they are. Not perfect in the perfectionist way but perfect in that they are not the cause of my defects and deficiencies in #patience and stamina. SO—My younger son fell down the stairs while I was cutting up cantaloupe for breakfast, which at a sensory level ranks pretty high, for #HSP,like me. I abandoned the hateful and overwhelming cantaloupe and went to him, stepping in one of several surprising piles of dog shit diarrhea. So, he is crying I have shit on my slippers, and we really just dont have time for any of it because breakfasts and lunches need to get made. I handled it, but I am worked. I quit. Even after a good night’s sleep, that took everything I had. I fucken hate dealing with it all, smell, sight, sound, texture, all of it. And then after the floor poo and pee and my previously injured son went from crying to rapping and performing. And I just needed everyone to care about one thing only—getting to school on time. I hate when I lose my shit. They never ever deserve mean face or scary tones. Those are tactics I learned from my mother and foo. I learned not only were they appropriate, but you could hang blame on others for having to go there. #thestruggleisreal . . . . . #mom #momlife #momsofinstagram #momsunplugged #funny #funnymom #kids #lifewithkids #truth #thestruggle #headexplode #bekind #bebrave #courage #kindness #kindnessmatters #selfcare #selflove #wisdom #recovery #selfworth #selfesteem #trusttheprocess #letitgo #unapologeticallyme

[wholesomebadass]

#jk But I do rely heavily on #odaat living. #Recovery relieves me from dread of the future and shame & guilt over the past. Dread and worry are bullshit. Habits I learned as a child—believing that when you care enough you worry and that non-worry equals non-caring. The holidays would be impossible without my #instapals and #recoverycommunity 🙌🏻✨How will you #cope with the threat of #holidaystress ? •••#boundaries #selflove #healingismessy #healingfromhiddenabuse #covertabuse #hiddenabuse #narcopath #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistparent #narcissisticabuse #bully #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #nocontact #triangulation #scapegoat #blacksheep #empath #shareyourstory #vibeyourtribe #metoo #breakthecycle

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost Thank you. Again. @dont_gaslight_me_bruh (@get_repost) ・・・ Please remember, your self-worth is not dependent on external validation, it is inherent. 💜After electing to relocate to a more suitable home(10 miles away) for my children and myself, I am hearing of the agitation of my ex because I did not first consult with him-if only!!! Must be nice to live in a world in which you feel your opinion is always required,relevant, and welcome. #ayfkm 👀#woketonarcissism #selfworth #selfcare #abusesurvivor #boundaries #selflove #healingismessy #narcissisticabuse #bully #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #nocontact #scapegoat #blacksheep #recovery #speakup #metoo #breakthecycle #bekind #bebrave #becourageous #courage #kindness #havecourage #selfcare #selflove #wisdom #recovery #selfworth #selfesteem #letitgo #shame

[wholesomebadass]

We know, we know, we know in our guts when someone or something is not right. Many of us were programmed to disregard that knowing. As children we come to think this is the price we must pay for #acceptance and a place at “the table”. As people in recovery, we can choose a more loving table. #unconditionallove 💜💫When people show us who they are🚨💀, we must believe them. #abusers will insist that we ignore or dismiss that #knowing #listentoyourheart #listentoyourbody #listentoyourgut #redflags #warnings #empath #patternsdontlie #warningsign #awareness #abuse #caution #selflove #selfcare #boundaries #trustyourgut #walkaway #nocontact #sayno #nocontact #breakthecycle #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #toxicpeople #recovery #kthanksbye

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost @mommywinetime (@get_repost) ・・・ It's finally in the 60s here in the Midwest.... Which means this #PaulBunyon is ready to stomp the lands. #fall #fallfashion #autumn #pinterest #pinterestfail #flannel #womensfashion #humor #pumpkin #unapologeticallyme #fashionista #momhumor #momlife #mumlife #motherhood #mombod #momstyle

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost @youbelongbecause (@get_repost) ・・・ We baaaaaaad bishes. Happy Thanksgiving! 🍂 I’m thankful for y’all’s dope spiritual badassery. I’d still feel stuck inside a tiny spiritual closet without you. Blessings to you and your fam today, be they blood or chosen. @theblacksheepsurvives #gratefulaf #thankful #thankfulthursday #thanksgiving #gratitude #friendsgiving #soulfam #framily #blacksheep #friendsgiving #chosenfamily #spirituality #thanksgiving #soulfam #spiritualaf #positivementalattitude #soulfam #selfcare #dailypractice #mindfulness #selflove #selfhelp #meditation #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment #spiritualawakening #spiritualgrowth #lonewolf #youarenotalone #youbelongbecause

[wholesomebadass]

Count your blessings if you find any peace and joy at all from being with family, ever.  Because for those of us who do not, it is very painful.  Holidays illuminate this for US, and do not change the reality of the dynamics of #abuse and #betrayal.  When someone, especially a family member, watches you get the beat down and says and does nothing, the beat down goes from betrayal to slaughter. 💀A part of you, so deep inside, that wants to hope and believe in love and #family, is destroyed. 🖤Be grateful if you are fortunate enough to have not experienced or witnessed such an encounter, and recognize how completely unable you are to relate.  Thank God if you are compassionate enough to not minimize and dismiss the ache of those who are not so  blessed, by making comments like “Can’t you just put it behind you, just for this one day? How bad could it be?  You know he/she/they love you.  Nobody is perfect.” True. Maybe true.  But why, on a day that is meant ot bring people together should anyone submit themselves to those who either openly diminish them or to those whom are ok with it? 🤦🏻‍♀️If you are one who thinks there is a good reason to pretend it did not and does not happen, be kind and share that, only with those who share your sentiments and lack of experience. I am blessed in many ways this holiday season, grateful for so much. And yet- the pain 💔and reality of this do not vaporize because of what the calendar indicates as a day of togetherness with those whom it is unsafe.🚪✂️🤷‍♀️

[wholesomebadass]

@narcissist.sociopath.awarenes2 (@get_repost) ・・・ Even with no contact, our minds spin trying desperately to make sense of the incomprehensible. Dreams will be filled with their presence for months or even years; eventually submitting to the reality that no answers will come. YOU control your own closure. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••and remember that anyone demanding or suggesting you JUST “let it go” OR “suck it up for the holidays” has no clue the pain and impossibility of that as an expectation in abusive dynamics. If only it were so simple, wouldn’t we just do it? #sociopath #narcissist #psychopath #narcopath #narcissistabuserecovery #spinning #psychologicalabuse #nightmare #conartist #closure #triangulation #ghosting #nocontact #dreams #reality #toxicpeople #closure #fraud #anxiety #silenttreatment #resolution #pathologicalliar #abuserecovery #boundaries #puzzle #dreams #meditation #haunted #compassion #kindness #empathy #selflove

[wholesomebadass]

I fucken love pumpkin pie. It is the only holiday food I get excited about. I always have room for 1 more bite, with whipcream. I tell myself it is healthy and acceptable to eat a quarter of a pie daily. It is pumpkin! Thank goodness my sons love it just as much. We enjoy it every single day of the holiday season. I miss my lil punkins, away for the week with their dad. And✨🙌🏻I am enjoying some time to myself. One of the biggest gifts of divorce is time and space to myself, now that they are older and we share custody 50/50. I could be an evangelist for divorce. It was painful and difficult and so so right. Holidays can be difficult for those newly divorced or embroiled in loveless marriage or estranged from broken families. Find a yummy food and a quiet place all to yourself. And then just be grateful in that moment for those things. How will you get through the holidays? More #pie ? #holidaytreats #moremoremore #yummy

[wholesomebadass]

Thank you #Repost @mermaidleah Exactly what I needed. We all matter. Nobody matters more. Nobody matters less—not within the communities and #relationships in which I belong. #belonging #worthiness #selflove #selfworth #selfesteem #mindfulness #caring #obsession #worry #shame #validation #recovery

[wholesomebadass]

#OMG  My #narcsister has been this way our entire lives.  She gained so much traction off doing sneaky malicious shit and because I coped poorly with her tactics, my hysteria is all that ever was noted or judged.  I swear her greatest achievement was just “not having to be me”. Fortunately, as I learned to stop reacting and start observing more, I am able to expose what she does without over reacting with hysterics.  I was inconsolable, not just for the things she would do and say to me but for having no loving witnesses in my life to comfort or help me.  It made me feel hopelessly angry, sad, #suicidal.  She literally got away with murder while all anyone could see was desperate and destructive expression of pain over what I could not understand or articulate. #kermitmemes #narcissist

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost @narcknowledge (@get_repost) ・・・ #narcissist #narc #narcex #femalenarcissist #malenarcissist #covertnarcissist #blameshifting #blameshift #noaccountability #covertabuse #cheating #abuser#playthevictim #gaslighting #deception #lies #shameshift #neverwrong #hopeless #letitgo #breakthecycle #rape #rapeculture #rapecultureawareness #triangulation #blacksheep #scapegoat #nocontact

[wholesomebadass]

#Repost @hengihawk (@get_repost) ・・・ If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "Me too" as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. Please copy/paste if you or someone you care about has been sexually violated. We learn to accept or dole out abuse early on. What did you learn? What are you teaching? #nosuchthingasinnocentbystander #speakout #speakup #raiseawareness #raisethestandard #metoo #metoo❤️ #campaign #raiseyourboysright #nomorebullying #survivor

[wholesomebadass]

So true----I still struggle with feeling #ashamed of my mother’s inability to be #protective or #nurturing. It does feel personal. How could it not? Plus, she tells me that I have earned or imagined all of it. Fortunately as an adult in a #recoverycommunity I am unlearning that #myth I do now realize that my reactions to being handled poorly are at the root of the wreckage of my life.  Nobody ever taught me how. And I was unable to #pretend or #deny the pain of my experience. I am clear that I have failed utterly at being a gracious and dignified abuse getter. 🤷‍♀️#Recovery teaches me how to respond in more wholesome ways. #fuckshame #soulrape #rape #emotionalabuse #boundaries #detachment #breakthecycle #nocontact #narcissisticabuse #marcusaurelius