Some1 said I looked like a keebler elf today and showed my teacher and they agreed
Donât know why I said teacher like Iâm in middle school cuz theyre my 50 y/o professor who I respect and they fucking called me a keebler elf

shark vs the universe

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Acquired Stardust
Sade Olutola

Discoholic đȘ©
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor

romaâ

@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@wolfpetal5
Some1 said I looked like a keebler elf today and showed my teacher and they agreed
Donât know why I said teacher like Iâm in middle school cuz theyre my 50 y/o professor who I respect and they fucking called me a keebler elf
I feel like he fucked his line up, and they just rolled with it. I love it.
oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE
All hope is lost so quickly I canât stop laughing.
danish tv is the best thing ever
âOkay :(â
He went straight to Acceptance. He didnât even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.
I can translate for anyone wondering what heâs saying. The dialogue roughly goes something like
âHopefully the owner of the car behind me will next time consider if-oh shit. Okay.â
thanks for the context omg
Etsy is somehow being even worse, do not click etsy ads
Etsy is now forcing shop owners to be part of their ads. We can not opt out.
To anyone who buys from etsy: DO NOT EVER CLICK THEIR ADS
They are rolling out a program where if you get a sale from an ad they put out, theyâre taking 12-15% of the profit(probably on top of the like, 5%ish+ they already take). Even worse, if you have clicked an Etsy ad in the last 30 days ANYONE YOU BUY FROM ON ETSY IN THAT PERIOD WILL BE BILLED THAT FEE.Â
So please, if you see an ad for something you like off etsy, do not click it. Just go on etsy and search for it.
This is somehow worse than what storenvy used to pull.Â
Please go directly through an artist or see if they have their own storefront (I use bigcartel) instead of purchasing off etsy. And if you must, just please, please, never click an etsy ad.
đThis is from another take for shops that made 10,000 and canât opt out
Oh for fuckâs sake.
one of my favourite linguistic phenomena/in-jokes is spanish potato chips being âham-flavored, probablyâ
yâsee because spain and portugal are so close, labels in stuff like food, shampoo, etc often come in portuguese as well as spanish
this brand of chips, Layâs, displays the flavor in spanish and portuguese, resulting in ham-flavored chips looking like this:
with âjamĂłnâ being spanish and âpresuntoâ being portuguese
however, âpresuntoâ is also a spanish adjective, meaning âpresumedâ (or suspected)
so you have this in-joke going where spanish chips taste like ham, presumably
Say what you will about âfriendsâ but all of the memes about how dumb and unrealistic it is have in-universe explanations
Monica can afford that giant apartment in manhattan on a chefâs salary because sheâs living there illegally, it was her grandmotherâs rent-controlled apartment and the landlord doesnât know her grandmother doesnât live there anymore
Rachel isnât fired from the coffee shop despite being overtly terrible at her job because her boss has a crush on her
They hang out with Ross because heâs Monicaâs brother and they have to
all the sequels did is make me hate the Skywalkers and stan the Solos. God, I love Han and Ben â€ïž
I tweeted this the other day and I absolutely stand by it
#this fandom owes han a big ass apology for all the years of acting like he was the one who failed ben lmao#HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT BACK FOR BEN AND BROUGHT HIM BACK TO THE LIGHT#NO ONE DESERVES THE SOLO BOYS AND THEIR BIG SELFLESS HEARTS (via @greyjedireylo)
FUCK aliens ! we got these crazy shits under da sea and weâre not payin any attention!!!
YES
âthe colony can regenerate injured parts or continue growing after being broken apart. Unless all individual clones are killed at the same time, a colony can theoretically live foreverâ
This thing is fucking mythical
yeehaw
I hate this site
i opened the window to hear the sound of rufus wainwrightâs cover of âhallelujahâ and it put me in such a existential Mood that i was contemplating about my relationship with God. and then bam came smashmouthâs all star. i realized this dude was just playing the shrek soundtrack for fun which caused me to have a spiritual moment for three whole minutes.
ACCORDING TO MY ROOMATEâŠ. SOMEONE WAS THROWING A SHREK THEMED PARTY. EVERYONE WAS DRESSED AS SHREK.
Today Iâm going to talk about the opposite of child abuse, because you all need some proper references to compare your lives to.
First thing that made me realize how upside down my life was, was a friend, who had an abusive father, but good mother. And you see, because the mother was good, she realized when her kids were still small, that heâs abusive, that the kids would get hurt, and she moved the hell away from him and got a divorce. She was poor, she didnât have many resources, and she had to work very hard to survive, and managed to get the abuser to pay alimony. My friend grew up surrounded by love and support, with high self-confidence, high social abilities, complete belief in their  worth and lacking nothing. And then one day the abusive father was angry at the mom, and tried to take it out on my friend, my friend got a call filled with insults and threats. It was scary and my friend got upset, I tried to comfort them but I really didnât have good words to say. They later called their mom, and this is what the mother said:
âYou are a perfect person, if anyone is talking to you like this, you can walk away.â
I remember just feeling complete awe hearing this, told from a mom, to a child. It even cheered me up. Those are the words we should have been getting from our parents. This is the correct attitude.
This other example is something that made me cry, and everyone else Iâve told this story. Itâs from a woman on youtube, who has a farm, and it was her dream her whole life to have a farm, and she also has kids. This year, she entered a competition in growing tomatoes, she grew a special tomato plant, and the competition was about who manages to grow the most tomatoes, biggest tomato, and so on. She usually lets her kids play in the garden, but she explained to all of them that theyâre not allowed to touch the special competition plant, or harvest the tomatoes.
However, her youngest son, aged maybe 5 or 6, took the biggest tomato off, before it even started ripening. She made a video explaining about what happened, and then she smiled and talked about how she cares about her farm, and her competition a lot, but not even close to how much she cares about her children feeling happy and safe in the garden. She said, even though she warned the kids to not touch the plant, itâs kind of hard to remember for a child which plant is what, and that in long term, competition doesnât really matter as much as happiness of her children. She even mentioned how she makes mistakes in the garden too, and forgives herself right away, and her children deserve the same forgiveness. And then, her son, laughing, runs up to her, and realizes sheâs making a video on tomato he tore off, and he says with a grin âIâm sorryâ and she replies, with warmth and affection in her voice: âI forgive you, my darling.â
If youâre, crying, itâs okay, Iâm crying too. So here, some standards. Something to compare your parents to. If these people could have done this, your parents could have done it too. You deserved this kind of gentleness and kindness too.
ATTENTION fake Harry Potter fans, the following works are NOT part of the Harry Potter canon: Harry Potter 1-7, Fantastic Beasts, The Cursed Child
The following works ARE part of the Harry Potter canon: A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, A Very Potter Senior Year, Potter Puppet Pals
I can't believe people are treating the Twisted abomination Gilderoy Lockhart and Hermione Granger wrote as canon and call themselves fans
Time for Christmas presents! https://www.etsy.com/shop/DemiurgusDreams
Two fucking losers in love Featuring a suffering Weiss Schnee
you better watch out đ you better watch out đ you better watch out đ you better watch out đ you bETTER WATCH OUT đ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT đ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT đ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT đ
Pawttery (via thegatheringinrogers)
Hes doing a good job!
This is The Best joke and probably helps ur mental stress. Keep giving it to them.