Toppat Leader's Office

*As you step into the blog, you can't help but wonder. Why is it that none of what's here, is what should be in an office?*

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[charlesoberonn]

Necessary and sufficient

[charlesoberonn]

[eliyahu613]

saying "a fortiori inference" is colonial behavior and i'm not kidding

[tzelofachad]

you can’t even pry my use of “a fortiori” in an otherwise normal essay to confuse the goyim from my cold, dead hands.

so obviously, you can’t pry it from my warm, living hands! You can derive that from a *dies instantly*

[eliyahu613]

well played, but that's still a kal vachomer you hellenizing secular chayav-mita freak

[tzelofachad]

phylacteries

pentecost

tabernacles

[eliyahu613]

skila

[sketchjay]

Okay, I did my best to translate this post:

eliyahu613:

saying "a fortiori inference" (phase that means "even more so". Rather rare.) is colonial behavior and i'm not kidding

tzelofachad:

you can't even pry my use of "a fortiori" in an otherwise normal essay to confuse the goyim (non-Jewish people) from my cold, dead hands.

so obviously, you can't pry it from my warm, living hands! You can derive that from a "dies instantly*

eliyahu613:

well played, but that's still a kal vachomer (Hebrew phrase that means "even more so". Rather common in religious Jewish dialects.) you are making things like the dominating secular culture and deserving of death according to Jewish courts of law and also G-D. freak.

tzelofachad:

(lists several obscure English translations of Hebrew and Jewish terms, including teffilin, a Jewish object [article of clothing? I don't know how to properly define that] used for prayer, the Jewish holiday of Shavuot, and a structure used for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot)

eliyahu613:

I am going to throw rocks at you until you die.

[hartsnkises]

"Amulet" is actually probably the best translation for what teffilin is, but, like, they'll probably skila me for the witchcraft vibes. It's also used for more than prayer—in theory, you're supposed to wear them all the time

Tabernacle is also a translation of Mishkan, that is, the tent-temple from the desert

[tzelofachad]

🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨

[eliyahu613]

🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨

[geckyjuno]

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

[muppetyaoi]

another one for the collection, gang.

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[puddox]

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

[yuriinullification]

holdon

what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

[mrsandman42069]

[essentiallydanielle]

I’m dead 💀

[world-cup-sexyman]

Which is sexier?

Taking transit to World Cup matches 🇺🇸

Houssem Aouar 🇩🇿

Voting ended onJul 15

[haruka68]

how are the weeds?

Oh um, which ones? Well, um, I'm so sorry if this is an annoying answer but I think I should just tell you all the important happenings

The japanese knotweeds are not doing well, they were growing outside in the soil, someone ripped them out, and I replanted them, but they're barely surviving. Yes, all of them. Actually a fair few died already, including jorja and borito. If I find that bastard, she'll rue the day she hurt these precious weeds.

The dandelions that I recently moved to the East broken wall are growing much stronger now that they're getting direct morning sun like they're obviously supposed to.

The wild violet that the dandelions replaced are also growing much better in the west window now that I'm not subjecting them to that overwhelming heat like an idiot moron

The speedwells are not handling the summer very well, so I'm trying to like, move them between this minifridge and the window but that's only hurting them more, and I don't know what to do, cuz I'm a failure even in this and if that wasn't enough

The spurge and the prostrate knotweeds are fighting, and I don't know how to split them up without hurting one of them, cuz I'm totally useless outside my violent tendencies that help no one.

[ashoss]

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

[cunt-force-therapy]

@you-are-not-real

[you-are-not-real]

dmage to my vocabulary hashtag my vocabulary #myvocabulary

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[starsidesomething]

In like 2016 when I was 12 I was super obsessed with Undertale and my mom and I spent hours sewing this ugly Papyrus plushie out of socks and I’ve slept with him every night since

[starsidesomething]

Bringing back ugly Papyrus to say I actually made a full Mii version of him because I wanted him to be friends with my mii

I always gotta keep the glue stain on his eye. It’s part of his Character Design

[homunculus-argument]

Herding sheep, looking after kids, and playing healer in videogames: every day you're surprised of the sheer innovative genius of how they'll find the most inconvenient goddamn places just outside your reach to get hurt or put themselves in lethal danger.

[drafty-castle]

Isn’t this sheep in real life?

[homunculus-argument]

Children in real life also.

[homunculus-argument]

It. It literally did. That was literally precisely the point.

I have no idea how the hell I could possibly express myself more clearly.

[flickering-leaves]

The humble Oxford comma

[homunculus-argument]

IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE.

[mylordshesacactus]

#you can understand op by using your brain

[paperandpencilsandskips]

[facelessoldgargoyle]

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

[yvfu]

this is the statistically reasonable post, reblogging it will have no effect except for putting this post on your blog

[moral-autism]

guys this post really works! I reblogged it and it really did put the post on my blog! you need to try it!

[mandywondering]

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

OOHHHHH sopranos like the singers

[ladyfeets-deactivated20211019]

HBO’s Sopranos: hark at the ducks 🦆 give zero fucks 🦆 in Tony’s pool 🦆 pasta fazool 🍝

altos: bada biNg 🔫 bada boOm 🔫 bada biNg 🔫 bada boOm 🔫

[sunshine-tattoo]

this website is a goddamn national treasure

[3liza]

do you live in seattle (the american city)?

yes

no

Voting ended onJul 10

please reblog to get this poll out of my bubble, i want reach

[3liza]

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

[weshallbekind]

Do you live in Southern California

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 6