Sunrise Sundays

INTJ, 5w4

[thecollectibles]

Song of Four Seasons by alice haun

[yellowrayn]

✨️INTJ girl✨️

[yellowrayn]

I keep thinking what I could have done better, but why?

It's not like I can change it anyways. Even if I came up with a very clever idea of mine.

I still can't change the fact of what the past has had to say at the time it was present. It's behind me, not in front.

Past and present, not the same. Quite the opposite, but though I still mix it up.

Obviously!

[yellowrayn]

Nightingale

Like footsteps in a night, she comes in.

Trying to help us sick, with a sin.

Loved or unloved, she helps anyways.

In the cold, by the way.

Man-dominated lives, but yet she shows power.

As in Tangled, she walks with a lovely glowing flower.

Making revolution, while showing us her dedication

"In honor of Florence Nightingale"

[yellowrayn]

Yes, my head's an interesting place. But don't stay for too long.

Might be interesting, but not very healthy.

[yellowrayn]

Don't love me like yesterday, neither like you'd love me tomorrow.

Don't think, just do!

[yellowrayn]

Pep talk>>>

What's popular now, is old tomorrow.

Don't give people Deja Vu, but something new, and never seen.

That's how to make it to the top.

It's only the talent of yours you need to trust now, otherwise it's not gonna work.

No matter how good and talented you are!

[yellowrayn]

Dear Panda

You look so nice, perhaps not okay.

Are you okay?

But behind all the fur, you don't want to stay.

You're not okay, no, you're not okay.

Oh my dear Panda, you look okay from the outside, but not on the inside.

You're suffering from anxiety and depression, as well.

You're hiding your true-self under the fur.

Why won't you get help, if you know you need it?

Bury your true-self deep inside, but looking fine otherwise.

That's why I named you "Panda".

Goodnight, okay? Sleep well, my dear❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[yellowrayn]

It's mostly not what it looks like:

They said she's very kind, so she may act.

He has friends, along feeling so lonely.

They look sweet, then again not.

She's smart and amazing, but want to die.

He's bullying, but just hurt.

They say they won't lie, but too late.

She said she'd try, but gave up.

He needs help, but can't even see it.

They say they love you, but don't.

She said you were friends, but she lied.

[yellowrayn]

Why is the colour BLUE so special?

1. Blue calms to mind feeling of calmness and relaxation.

2. The colour blue represents both the sky and the sea and is associated with open spaces, freedom,intuition,imagination,inspiration and sensitivity.

3. Blue is the world's most favourite colour.

4. Scientists continue to be fascinated by how blue is made because it is made with microscopic structures, which is not pigment - just like how butterflies' blues are made. It is common to refer to things as blue when they are actually purple, like blueberries.

5. Seen as a non-treatning colour.

Blue>>>

[yellowrayn]

I have the weirdest cat. Whenever you just accidentally touch a plastic bag around him. He jumps in fear and runs faster than literally Speedy Gonzales.

The weirdo Felix!

[yellowrayn]

Silent moves

(Chapter 3)

(You go to class, but all you're thinking about is him.)

Student 1: Hey, you look happy. How come?

(You don't notice they are talking to you, so they think you're ignoring them.)

Student 1: Sorry? (Insecure)

(They tap on your shoulder to indicate they're talking to you.)

(You turn to them.)

Y/n: Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were talking to me.

(They blush. Why?)

Student 1: It's okay. I'm used to it. (Smiles) ... I just asked why you looked so happy. I've had a shitty morning, so I guess hesring about yours would cheer me up... sorry.

(They seem very apologizing. Like they think/know they're annoying already and feel sorry for you that you're talking to them.)

Y/n: Oh... sure. Well, yeah. I did have a good morning. (Blushes). Sorry. Yeah, really good!

(You bite your lip while thinking about him.)

Student 1: What happened? (Interested/excited.)

(You look at them, look down at your shoes and make a huge smile. You think about him again.)

Y/n: Well. (Chuckle) I got a BF. (Whispers.)

(They look excited. Do they think we're besties now???)

Student 1: OH MY GOOOOOD! (They're yelling, lol.)

Y/n: Shhhhhh. (Whispers. Chuckle.)

Teacher: Can you keep it down in the back row, please? The rest of the class is actually trying to learn something, compare to some others!

(Always soooooooo angry. Not even your fault. It was student 1's fault. They seem nice though, perhaps you should hang out with them sometimes?)

Student 1: Sorry to get you in trouble (Whispers.)

Y/n: Trouble? They just told us to be quiet, that's all.

Teacher: You 2 have to skip this class, since you can't keep your voices down!

(You and student 1 is looking confused at each other. Did they just tell us to leave?)

Teacher: OUT!

(They point at the door, very fast and keep their hand up there. It looks stupid after a while. But both of you leave.)

(You went out to the hallway and begin to blow out an uncontrollable laugh. They have a fun laugh.)

Y/n: Do you think they're gonna come out and tell us to leave again? (Laughs, don't know why.)

Student 1: I guess they can't make us leave campus while we have class. But it is our last class, so probably yeah.

(You laugh so hard you stomach begins to hurt. Nothing is funny, but you still laugh. You kinda wanna tell them more about your BF. But you barely know anything about them. Is it the risk worth? To tell them about him?)

Student 1: Wanna go home to me? I have a pool board, pool, mini cinema and lots of others stuff. Alcohol as well?

(You smile.)

Y/n: Guess I don't have any classes left for today anyways.

(They laugh.)

Student 1: Yeah. Pretty obvious. (Laughs.)

(So you went home to them. And WOOOOOOOW. That house is HUUUUGEEEE. They did say they had pool and a cinema. But this is a castle, literally.)

Student 1: Hey dad. Already home?

The dad: Yeah, they cancelled the program in very last minute. Why are you already home?

(They begin to laugh, again.)

Student 1: Erm... let's just say my teacher is very stricted.

(His voice sounds familiar. Pretty sure I haven't been here before.)

(Should I see if I can regonice him? Yeah! I do that!)

The dad: -but is it really that easy to-

(Shit, shit, shit SHIIIIT!)

Student 1: Oh, hey! This is y/n, dad. Very nice. I'm the fault for getting kicked out of class. For both of us.

(He's starring at you. Looks a bit terrified.)

The dad: (couch) ...right. Erm, hi...

(WHYYYYYYY???)

Y/n: Hey.

(You can barely hear yourself, not sure if they heard you. You're voice is barely able to be heard.)

Student 1: Have you seen y/n before?

(He's starring at me. In a second he goes from the terrified impression on his face, to a laughable smile.)

The dad: I don't think so, no... New?

(He looks at you.)

Y/n: No, erm. (Couch.) Since 1st year, so...

(He nods uncontrollable. DON'T MAKE IT OBVIOUS YOUR FUCKING PRICK!)

Student 1: Okay... awkward.

(Oh really?!?!?! Well, yeah! Should you tell her about it?)

Student 1: You both look quit anxious...?

(MAYBE, BC YOU'VE FUCKING SLEPT WITH HIM? AND BC YOU FIRST FOUND OUT NOOOOOW THAT HE HAS A FUCKING KID??!?!? AND PERHAPS BC HE'S YOUR FUCKING, GOD DAMN, BOYFRIEND?)

The dad: Why don't you 2 go up to your room student 1?

(They nod.)

Student 1: Yeah, we will! Don't tell mum about me getting kicked out of the last class today... please??!?!? (They look like a puppy.)

Tha dad: Yeah, sure, alright. Just, erm... room, okay?

(Student 1 nods.)

(You and them walks up to their room. Should you tell them about it? NOOOOOOOOOO!)

Student 1: My dad's really nice. Is yours?

(I can't even answer! I'm screwed. I'm fucking screwed!)

[yellowrayn]

Silent moves

(Chapter 2)

(You wake up. And for the first time in the last 2 months, you don't wake up to a back pain.)

(You wonder why, and then see him. You are cuddling.)

(You try to remember what happened, but can't. You know you didn't drink, so that can't be it.)

(He groans. You get out of his hold, and try to wake him up nicely.)

Y/n: What happened? Did we- (Whispers).

Y/n: ... Wake up! Get up!

(He wakes up, but looks like he just came here after babysitting 100 of brads, or something. He looks very tired. Dead?)

(He groans again.)

Him: What...?

(You look around. But there's no point in it, since both of your parents aren't home until next week.)

Y/n: Erm...

(You can't tell you don't remember what happened. He'll think you weird then. And he's amazing!)

(You need to keep him!)

Y/n: Nothing. Erm, morning!

(He looks confused.)

Him: Erm, morning! Oh, and...

Y/n: ...

(He looks like he wants to ask something, but don't know how to say it.)

Him: Well... I am usually introverted, but not as shy as I seemed last night. Or, I wasn't faking it. I just needed to... process it? I just wouldn't make you feel like I was forcing you to do anything.

(You smile. Happy!)

Y/n: Yeah? Thanks! I appreciate it. I'm not the best one at saying "no" if I don't want to do something. I had quite a problem with my ex bc of it...

(Girly! Why did you bring up your ex!??!?)

(He looks annoyed, or scared? OR BOTH?)

Him: Right... Erm, I need to go. Sooooo, thanks for waking me up.

(You're dumb bitch!)

Y/n: Of course!

(Did it sound too desperate?)

Him: I text you, okay?

(It doesn't seem to bother him THAT much. After literally bringing up your ex. But who knows?)

Y/n: Yeah.

Him: Later!

(What? Did he just say "later"? Is he okay, lol? You know he's American, and he do say everyone says it where he lives. That his friends says it, as well. But... it just sounds weird to you.)

Y/n: Yeah.

(If he thinks you're gonna say "later" back. He's gonna wait quite long. A while?)

(He went out the door to your room. You can hear his step on the stairs. They are slow, so it couldn't have been that bad. Right?)

[yellowrayn]

Silent moves

(Chapter 1)

(He touches your fingers lighly. He takes his hand back to him in shyness and gets an awkward feeling. You can feel his insecureness.)

Y/n: ...you okay?

(He couch, once.)

Him: Fine, fine. I'm good... you?

Y/n: Yeah, I'm good.

(He looks around in awkwardness. Either of you are watching the movie you sat on from your laptop. It's a romantic one.)

(He turns, slowly, against to you. Stare a bit and lean slowly over for a kiss. You notice.)

>awkward silence<

...

(He leans fast over and give you a kiss on the lips. A fast one and quickly over. It was good.)

Him: Was it (chuckle) good?

(He doesn't sound as insecure as before. You think he sounds very confident, actually.)

Y/n: Erm...yeah.

(He look at you, considering something. You don't know what. You can't read him now!)

(He leans again for a kiss, but this time it's a looooong one. He's not holding back this time. It feels like he's eating you up. It's soooo good.)

(He stops, just out of nowhere. And pretty much immediately, out of the blue.)

Him: Is this okay?

(Is it? He's much older, over 10 years. Over 20 years older?)

Y/n: ...yeah. Keep going.

(He now sit up in your bed. He stand on his knees now.)

(He begin to take one leg over both of your legs. You think he will sit on your lap.)

Him: Is THIS okay?

(You nod fast and begin to smile. You can see he enjoys it.)

Y/n: Let me just-

(He begins to kiss you everywhere, literally! He usually don't let you speak out, but it's fine. It's good!!!)

[yellowrayn]

Alice Oseman:😘😘😘

Love her books🥰😭

My favorite book is probably Solitaire.

I love the way you really get to see how Tori thinks, you know? I read HS before Solitaire, and I kept thinking "What is Tori even thinking? She seems like a very interesting person to try understand and relate to, you know?" Then I found out Solitaire was literally about her, and I read the book in under 3 days😇🤧

Loved it😌❤️

Thanks for writing all these fantastic books. Have read all of them, I guess😫❤️‍🔥

I kept thinking, as well. "She reminds me of Wednesday Addams. Her everything reminds me of Wednesday".

Seems like the purpose, honestly.

And I need more of those small novels of Nick & Charlie and the rest of the group😫📚📚📚

We need more🤌🤌🤌

[yellowrayn]

Good times come to an end.

Now thinking 'bout you again💔