ZombieCreatures

Late 20s, hockey, cross stitch, D&D, Stranger Things, and gardening.

[elliottholt]

A Few of My Favorite Russian Proverbs (with their literal translations)

Большой секрет — знает весь свет.    Big secret—the whole world knows.

Борода не делает философом.  A beard doesn’t make a philosopher.

В темноте все кошки серы.  All cats are gray in the dark.

В Ту́лу со свои́м самова́ром не е́здят. No one brings a samovar to Tula. (Tula is famous as the city where samovars were manufactured. This is the equivalent of “Don’t bring coal to Newcastle.”)

Волко́в боя́ться — в лес не ходи́ть. If you’re afraid of wolves, don’t go to the woods.

Говорить правду — потерять дружбу.  Tell the truth—lose friends.

Доверя́й, но проверя́й.  Trust, but verify.

Долг платежо́м кра́сен.  Debt is beautiful once it’s repaid.

Доно́счику — пе́рвый кнут. The informer is whipped first.

Друг познаётся в беде́.  You get to know your friend in trouble. (A friend in need is a friend indeed.)

Дру́жба дру́жбой, а де́нежкам счёт.  Friendship is friendship, but count money.

Знать всё — значит не знать ничего. To know everything is to know nothing.

И у стен бывают уши. And even walls have ears.

Когда́ де́ньги говоря́т, тогда́ пра́вда молчи́т.  When money talks, truth shuts up.

На чужо́м го́ре сча́стья не постро́ишь. One can’t build happiness upon another’s grief.

Назва́лся гру́здем — полеза́й в ку́зов. If you called yourself a mushroom—get in the basket. (Sort of like, “don’t just talk the talk—walk the walk.”)

Не ошиба́ется тот, кто ничего́ не де́лает. He that does nothing makes no mistakes.

NB: any translation mistakes are mine

[phoenixwaller]

USEFUL!!!

[tsumeghost]

Very Important Addition, my favorite

Любовь не картошка, не выбросишь в окошко. LOVE IS NOT A POTATO YOU CANNOT THROW IT OUT A WINDOW (that is, love is not a small thing that is easy to get rid of)

[ivyandbranch]

Get a Library Card even if you never use it

[official-library-posts]

official library post

[taibhsearachd]

You can often get a card number online these days without ever going in, and once you have that you can sometimes get other cards from partnering libraries so you can access more/different materials on Libby/Hoopla/etc.

ReciproCard - Reciprocal Library Cards for Libby

Discover which reciprocal library systems you can access based on where you live. More cards means more books on Libby.

[zombiecreatures]

Also if you have the funds you can pay a nominal fee to get an out of state library card! I pay $50 a year to have a Queens Public Library card!! I live in SC and despite how hard my little library tries it doesn’t necessarily have all the books I want.

Also!!!! The Queer Liberation Library has a free library card and a fund drive at the end of the year!!! Their goal is to keep queer media accessible for everyone! All you have to do is register!

[nuge]

ANOTHER EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED

[pitchburgh]

saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"

nature is healing

[augustdementhe]

FUCK YEAH.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

You gotta see this house. It's not for sale, but it's for rent for $8,500mo. (minimum 12 mo. lease) 4bds, 3ba, 3,100sqft, cats OK.

This is the entrance foyer.

Built in the 1970s, the house's style is called rare "hippie baroque," which I've never heard of.

The kitchen is to the left of the entrance and the living room is to the right. Notice the ceiling.

This looks like fabric.

I've never such unusual lighting.

The kitchen is unlike any that I've ever seen. It's low and very angular.

It has these intricately carved windows with stained glass throughout the house.

To the left of the kitchen there's this sitting area with a single chair and a ladder to a loft.

Then, there's a piano and a picnic-like dining table.

There's a doorway to a room here, but they have cushions to sit on, in the doorway.

Without the cushions, there's a step up.

This looks like a music room with built-in place to lounge or sit. Plus, there's another ladder to a loft.

A large bath has a sculptural round shower with mosaic tiles.

Matching tub. There's something in the tub, and are those stones in a trough?

Then, past the sinks there's a toilet room.

Here's a home office.

And, this is the entrance to another bath.

An angled toilet.

There's a bedroom at the top of these stairs.

And, bedroom #2 has a strategically placed mirror.

The bedrooms have access to this upper deck.

Curving brick wall in a Zen garden.

Beautiful waterfall.

This is the pool.

The house looks like a village.

Huge house.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/80-Murray-Ave-Kentfield-CA-94904/19249454_zpid/?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

one thing I respect the hell out of is little kids lying down on the floor in public. they have had ENOUGH and are ready to go HOME and are willing to be a HUGE INCONVENIENCE about it. we can learn so much from them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

still thinking about how much WORSE running errands is for kids. they aren't even your errands! sure it sucks for adults, but kids are 1) forced to tag along, 2) no personal investment in the outcome, 3) get no say on location, duration, timing. a kid stuck in a grocery store aisle while their parent gossips with an acquaintance is a Hostage Situation. at the bare minimum hostages should be allowed to lie down and get some rest

[penpaladinjules]

My oldest kid was especially intolerant of extra bullshit during errands. He wanted a list of where we were going, and would get irate about new ones being added to the list after we started. He called this rule “No Secret Trips,” with special contempt reserved for the bank.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i think your kid should be put in charge of a major government agency. i want him ruling the FDIC with an iron fist. i want him usurping total control over the Department Of Motor Vehicles

[animentality]

[fangirlshenaniganrex-deactivate]

REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.

[humorandhellfire]

Dustin: Say this to him, I swear it will completely take him off guard. It will be hilarious

Steve: I have to remember this whole thing?

-Three Days later-

Steve: *Walks into Eddie's room*

Eddie: *Reading* You're late, Harrington

Steve: Uhh, a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Eddie:....*Slowly closes magazine and sets it down*

Steve:....

Eddie:...*Gets up. Closes and locks door*

Steve:....did I say the wrong thing?

Eddie: *Pulls hair back* Absolutely not

Steve: Wh- AH!

-The Next Day-

Steve: *Running into Dustin's room* TEACH ME MORE RING LORD QUOTES!

[munsonmanor]

I need a fic of this omfg

[tinytalkingtina]

Adding @scoops-aboy86's tags because they're hilarious

[jovishark]

some advice for people entering their 20s:

-dont go to the emergency room with dental problems. go to the dentist

-bagged greens are cheaper than pre-made salads

-taco bell is NOT worth the money anymore. 1/4 cup mayo, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3 tblspoons pickled jalapenos+2tblspoons of the jar liquid, 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder salt+pepper. all in your blender. creamy jalapeno sauce

-dont quit your job unless you have a bunch of job interviews lined up immediately after

-use resources. food bank, unemployment, housing assistance, financial aid, etc. yes there will be paperwork. but Do It

-dont stay awake longer than 20 hours. you Will start to become impulsive and cranky. resting for 20 minutes is better than trying to stay awake

-for every 2 hours you spend looking up close at screens, spend 20 minutes looking at something far away from you. stretch your wrists a lot

-dont do that yoga stretch where you roll your head around your shoulders. youre grinding down the joints in your neck

-be nice to your friends, bullying them as a joke gets old. if you need a ride somewhere at least offer them gas money

-brush your teeth at any time of the day but especially before you sleep. dont snack in bed if you can help it. make your bed the Clean Teeth Zone. keep floss picks by your bed

-dont tell your boss youre adhd/autism/depression/suicidal. dont trust your coworkers with that. you NEVER know how people will take it and its none of their business

-train your pets to go to the front door when they hear a fire alarm

-get regular oil changes

[type-blaze0]

No seriously, get regular oil changes. Learned in shop class that about half of the people that come to us don't change their oil until it gets chunky. Chunky oil is really bad. Chunky oil is only marginally better than no oil. In some cases, it might actually be worse.

[cynids]

[jasmineiros]

[shitswiftiessay]

also, its sister tweet:

[dandalfthe-gay-deactivated20251]

How could you forget:

[galacticism]

[slushi-chan]

Had to add this gem

[therobotmonster]

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

[kikokuso]

I have a new favourite batshit rail idea

Please build it for the funny please please please

[vacuously-true]

You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.

[hst3000]

New York to Paris.

Westbound.

[stars-bean]

Some Like It Hot (1959) dir. Billy Wilder

[anyroads]

#someone pointed out once that he chose his female name because he liked it#whereas the other man just picked the female version of his existing name#because it was easier and that was his main concern#lot of interesting gender stuff going on here

Oh yeah there was a lot of "Hayes Code be damned, all of us making this film are queer/friends with queers and we're going to have some fun with gender identity" in this film. That's why it still holds up. It's not a story based around getting a laugh out of dressing men up as women so they can be clowns - there's an integrity to the cross-dressing. Daphne is an identity Jerry realized he had when he put on a dress. Every time he chooses to keep his wig and outfit on and maintain his feminine mannerisms while alone with Joe, it shows his comfort in this identity, and it elicits laughter from the audience through the dialogue, ie. the audience isn't laughing at the fact that a man is in a dress, but at the characters as fleshed out characters and human beings. The laughter comes from the situations the characters are put in and their reactions to them, not from a parody of womanhood presented through a male perspective. Similarly, Osgood's classic line at the end of the film is an affirmation that he likes Jerry as he is, even if he's Daphne. It's a way of getting the audience to say, "this is fine, we're comfortable" through laughter to something socially unacceptable in its time.

Joe's masculine identity, meanwhile, is used to highlight his misogyny and force him to understand it (and the same with Jerry, but as he's less of a womanizer, there's less of a point to be made with him). In a world where men and women often had separate social circles that overlapped only when romance was on the table, putting a man like Joe in a female space where he's privy to the conversations and emotions that his actions elicit gives him a lot to contend with and understand because he can see the consequences of his actions as raw pain and secondhand, instead of as anger being spewed directly at him. Again, the joke isn't that he's a man in a dress, or that he's parodying womanhood, it's that as a selfish misogynist he's put in situations where he's forced to empathize with the experience of womanhood in order to convincingly enact it for his own safety.

There's a whole lot more to unpack in the metaphor of these two men having to pass as women because their lives are at stake if they don't.

[hi-im-dazey]

Okay so for one of my screenwriting and film studies sections I wrote a paper comparing the language of clothing and feminism from Wilder in two of his films, The Apartment and Some Like it Hot.

Now I am not going to spew out a wall of text on the subject or anything, but I did want to point out that he did not just "sneak things by" the code, he actually deliberately REFUSED to abide by it at all for this film, he willfully refused to even apply for the certification, he knew it wouldn't pass, and he knew he wouldn't bend to let it pass.

He and the studio took a gamble that a Wilder-Curtis-Lemmon-Monroe flick would do box office and get play without the "seal of approval" from the code folks.

And he was right.

[lesbianshepard]

Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.

[lesbianshepard]

If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump

[bunjywunjy]

this? you want to walk down this????

please say sike

[bunjywunjy]

IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP

[hapalopus]

footpath

[bunjywunjy]

that is grass. just like ur ass, if you try to walk this thing

[phantomomo]

Image me gently taking your hand as I tell you the following:

This is ABSOLUTELY a perfectly fine footpath.

In fact, with how much space I’m seeing here, it is entirely plausible, that the European hordes will just create a temporary little Wanderweg right next to the highway. With that much space they might not even have to interfere with traffic.

But also have you seen the space between your highways? I‘d say the gaps each easily fit another whole stream of European walking hordes. Or maybe even two going opposite directions :D

[bunjywunjy]

tightly grips your hand with both of my sweaty hands.

the grass is not a permanent feature. there just happens to be a chunk of it there. the side of the road can vary from grass to swampwater ditches to steep embankments to absolutely nothing within a very short distance.

they will call in every highway enforcer in the state and mass incarcerate the lot of you before they allow you to Darwin Award yourselves across 6 lanes of traffic into an international incident or, (their real concern) impede the progress of the single most important north-south interstate corridor in america, ball kicky game be damned.

(I'm starting to believe that a fair number of you in the notes have We're Better Than Stupid Americans embedded so deeply into your cultural identity that you will Just Not Listen to anything we say to you about the material circumstances about the place we live in, rather than taking us at our word that there is a reason that most Americans travel the way we do and it's a good reason.)

[only-by-the-stars]

jersey Turnpike perfec t size for put european in to w\alk! inside very Safe and Calm european walk easily put european in Jersey Turnpike. Put European In Jersey Turnpike. no problems ever in highway because good Swamp and Terrain for european to walk. Ajersey highway yes a place for a european put european in turnpike can trust jersey for giveing good love to pedestrian. friend highway

[erikkarlsson]

erik karlsson- training camp 1.12.21

[neonfretra]

[Image description: 6 GIFs of Erik Karlsson during an interview, arms crossed in front of him, emoting by moving his head and raising his eyebrows. A forearm tattoo of a hand of cards is visible His hair is past shoulder length, and he wears a black face mask. Notably, he looks like a beautiful lesbian. End description.]

i dedicate this to every single reblog of this post

[violet-periwinkle]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

THEY RELEASED THE COYOTE VS ACME TRAILER !!!!!

WE WON !!!

[chucktaylorupset]

sorry the looney tunes movie that got buried by a massive company for corporate purposes is about fighting back against a massive company trying to bury incidents for corporate purposes?