list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous
for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go
- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done
- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down?
- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite– oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad
- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now
- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren’t even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda
- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like… Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart
- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights
- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they’re still at it
- Brook is older than… basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh… all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why
- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again
- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack
- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests
- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”
- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece…. and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”…. and someone has to look him in the eye (…or not) and tell him “i don’t know”
- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like… at least once? it was luffy’s fault
- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself
- when they’re heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him
- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed
- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right
- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don’t know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like… no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun
- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries
- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me
- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there’s a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here
- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying
- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark
- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark
- there’s a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they’re planning for how they’re going to get Zoro back and they’re all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him
- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie
- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind…….. made myself sad again
- he cries when a dragon won’t eat him tho
- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you
- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man
- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it
- there’s a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don’t even think the manga shows how he got down
- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was
- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they’re descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it
- this isn’t Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.
- Brook literally doesn’t have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be
- why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them
- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like… possibly days? is he okay
- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons
im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today
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