Hey! I don't mean to be a bother you, but I've been really craving Peter having a YouTube channel where he just drinks wine and teaches people how to cook things if they live in a mediocre apartment so they can eat healthy and not live off fastfood. While cooking and drinking he just talks about stuff like memes and school and, most importantly, his undying thirst for Tony Stark. Then Tony finds it and he does something. It could be a comedic or a smutty ending. It all depends on what you want.
Canon-divergence, copious mentions of food, formatting changes
[SCENE OPENS. A YOUNG MAN APPEARS MID-FRAME]
“Hi! I’m Peter and welcome back to Pete’s Eats, where you – ah shit, the lens isn’t focused.”
[CAMERA FOCUSES. YOUNG MAN RUSHES BACK INTO SHOT]
“Hi! I’m Peter, and you’re watching Pete’s Eats, the channel where you cheap for eat – oops, I mean – fuck.”
“Welcome back, everyone! I’m Peter, if you haven’t been here before this is the channel where I teach you how to eat for cheap with what you got - and I get drunk doing it!”
On the screen Peter shifts, gesturing to the cookware and ingredients splayed on his kitchen bench, clapping his hands together.
“We’re going to be having a lot of fun today because I am going to be teaching you how to make a weeks worth of meals for twenty bucks.”
Peter grips the bottle of white wine near his elbow and pours a serving into a glass.
“Look guys,” he said, gesturing to the glass, “I even got a real wine glass for this shit. Look at that production budget. Comment below if you miss the Iron Man mug. RIP.”
A scene cuts in, black and white footage of a ceramic mug falling to the floor in slow motion. It splinters across the floor as violins play over the scene, Peter’s horrified face coming into view moments later.
Presently, Peter takes a big gulp from his new wine glass, throat bobbing as he swallows.
“Mmm, tastes grown-up. Alright, let’s get started.”
Peter takes another gulp of wine as he clacks a pair of tongs at the camera. Shifting a few feet to the tiny stove, Peter retrieves the boiled chicken breast from the small pot, setting it onto a bright green cutting board.
“So at this point you’re gonna wanna grab a couple of forks to get ready to shred the chicken,” Peter says, swiping two forks off the bench and drumming them against the cutting board with a clang. He plies the meat open with the utensils, the camera switching to an overhead shot, showing white fibrous meat.
“First you want to make sure it’s not still undercooked. No pink chicken please. Remember, guys; we’re cheap, not stupid.”
The camera pans back out, a slightly inebriated Peter misses his wine glass as he tries to refill it, spilling liquid over the kitchen bench.
Peter looks up at the camera, lips pursed.
yousharknotpass
kaledo-art
2087
annaxmalina
